Whether you know her from House, Tron, her raunchy Jason Sudeikis-related quotes, or her Marchesa sparkleball of a Golden Globes dress, there's no denying the fact that Olivia Wilde is kind of awesome. She's awesome for lots of reasons, but chief among them (this month, anyway) is her recent cold-hard-truth-telling about sexism in Hollywood. As a panelist at the State of Female Justice, Wilde was able to distill down just what is wrong with the movie industry.
Yes, she said it, and she said it eloquently – and most importantly, she said it in a way that people are able to rally behind. It makes sense – we know she's smart and well-spoken from the column she wrote for Glamour (girl's good with words!). And her outcry against show business chauvinism delivered with some memorable pearls of wisdom.
She tells it like it is (and drops some Bechdel test truth): "Any woman working at any level in any part of Hollywood will tell you ... it's really hard to get a any stories made that are about women ... not just women being obsessed with men or supporting men."
She calls out her male peers: "It's really hard to get men to be a part of films that are about women in a leading role."
She rallies her cause: "Movies are made based upon what people areasking for ... so really the power is in our hands, and it's really just a matter of asking for it much louder."
And she tells a hilarious and hard-hitting anecdote about a gender-swapped version of American Pie: "It was so fascinating to be a part of this because, as the women took on these central roles – they had all the good lines, they had all the good laughs, all the great moments."
...And she throws some more (delicate) shade on her male peers: "The men who had joined us to sit on stage started squirming rather uncomfortably and got really bored because they weren't used to being the supporting cast."
She talks about some films that got it right: "When we switch the roles, which has been done with movies, many of you probably know already that in Aliens, Siourney Weaver's role was written for a man. In Salt, Angelina Jolie's role was written for Tom Cruise. These things, when reversed, have proven to be just as exciting and entertaining with women in leading roles."
Watch Olivia kick some metaphorical ass here:
Four for you, Olivia Wilde. You go Olivia Wilde!
Fox Broadcasting/Fox Broadcasting
It's fair to compare The Mindy Project with New Girl. After all, both are relatively new female-helmed Fox sitcoms with an acerbic wit. But which one walks out of the ring as champion? Let's take a look.
Maybe it's because I recently read Mindy Kaling's memoir Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? and developed a deep and unabiding appreciation for her sense of humor, but I would go out on a limb and say that Kaling has better comic chops than Zooey Deschanel does.
There's also something worth noting about the construction of the two characters: Mindy is self-centered, vain, and at times superficial, while Jess is nurturing, artistic, and quirky – in other words, Mindy's characterization teeters on the edge of unlikable, while Jess seems perfectly engineered to pull on our hipster heartstrings. But in the end, who's the more relatable character? Who do we root for more? And most importantly, who's funnier? Mindy, Mindy, and Mindy.
New Girl: 0, The Mindy Project: 1
There's a bit of an uneven playing field here. Mindy and Jess are in different points in their love story timelines, after all (Mindy and Danny just kissed for the first time, while Nick and Jess have been dating for months). Now that the New Girl pair has gotten together, it seems that the Moonlighting curse has gotten to them. Their couple storylines are for the most part unsatisfying and, well ... bad (running away to Mexico? Really?). Time will tell if The Mindy Project handles Mindy and Danny better – we hope and pray and cross our fingers that they'll be able to maintain their sizzle at least a little longer.
And when it comes to Danny vs. Nick? Danny all the way – his "Try Again" Christmas dance alone is enough to secure him the prize.
New Girl: 0, The Mindy Project: 2
The Main Players
Both have had their fair share of flailing: New Girl has notoriously struggled with the characterization of Winston, and The Mindy Project's regular cast seems to have some sort of revolving door policy, with quite a few characters inexplicably disappearing, never to be seen again. That said, with the core casts they have now, I think New Girl has Mindy beat. Dr. Jeremy Reed, Dr. Peter Prentice, and Morgan Tookers (funny as they are) can't quite edge out Schmidt, Coach, and Winston – even though they do fit the same basic archetypes (womanizer, masculine bro, and just plain weird).
New Girl: 1, The Mindy Project: 2
New Girl started strong with a critically well-received freshman season, and continued to crank out good storylines throughout the second season. Their third season is another story – it's experienced a pretty steep decline, with only a few episodes ("Birthday" is one example) hitting the caliber of earlier seasons. The Mindy Project, on the other hand? Still on the rise, with consistently good writing (so please don't cancel it).
New Girl: 1, The Mindy Project: 3
I've shown my true colors as a staunch Mindy Project champion with growing anti-New Girl leanings. Now, what about you?
This season might just be Shameless' bleakest yet, and that is no mean feat. It's like when you started watching Breaking Bad, and thought, "It can't get worse than strangling someone and melting their body in a tub full of acid" – but then it did.
And watching Fiona's steady downspiral to implosion is certainly on par with watching that literal bloodbath burst its way through the ceiling on Breaking Bad. Yes, she gets bailed out of jail; yes, her tough public defender gets her out of serving actual time, but her face when she's read the crippling details of her three-year probation and lifetime as a convicted felon? It says it all. And even worse is watching Fiona yell out her guilt over Liam's overdose at an accusatory and stone-faced Lip – after he gives her the cruel truth that she might just have ruined her whole life with that ounce of cocaine, you could cut her self-loathing (not to mention Lip-loathing) with a knife. (We get even further down the hole when you factor in the fact that their screaming match was only put on pause because Frank is lying in his own refuse on the bathroom floor).
Yet, even as we feel for Fiona getting torn to shreds, Lip has a point. Liam could have died, and may even suffer lasting trauma (after getting teased on the bus, even Carl worries that Liam is now "retarded"). Lip can't trust his sister anymore, so he spends most of the episode carting Liam back and forth to his dorm room (it earns him serious points with the ladies – even his roommate's previously icy girlfriend), and the pressure of juggling school, work, and now a dysfunctional family of seven (did I count right?) all comes to a head in his blowout with Fiona. He doesn't want to be in her position; holding the Gallagher clan on his shoulders like a Southside Atlas – he wants to live his own life.
Well, tough luck, Lip. With the Gallagher family in the state it is now, he may never get the life he wants. Frank's dying and has less control over his bodily functions than ever, Fiona's to be on probation for the next three years, Ian's a drug-addled stripper – even sweet little Debbie has resorted to cutting (though given her shocked string of expletives at the pain, it doesn't seem like she'll be trying it again). No, the Gallaghers will continue on down, with no end in sight. It's all very Sisyphean, isn't it? Let's hope at least Sheila's having a good time on the Rez.
* Let's unpack this humdinger of a title: "A Jailbird, Invalid, Martyr, Cutter, Retard, and Parasitic Twin." Jailbird = Fiona, Invalid = Frank, Martyr = Lip? Cutter = Debbie, Retard = Liam, and Parasitic Twin = Huey (who, in V's words, "Ate Dewey").
* Yes, that's right: V's twins apparently resorbed their triplet. Which is a much grosser process than I'd previously thought.
* Mickey remains the lovelorn MVP on this season, perhaps even outstripping Lip's years of Karen Jackson-torchbearing. Though does he really have to punch every single person who calls him gay?
* Matt: "I should probably date girls my own age." Yes, Matt. Yes you should.
* I stand by my prediction that Lip will get it on with his roommate's girlfriend.
Walt Disney Studios
The recent release of Lana Del Rey's delightfully creepy cover of "Once Upon A Dream" got me ruminating on hypothetical Disney covers. Of course, many exist already: Demi Lovato's "Let it Go," Christina Aguilera's "Reflection," and my personal favorite, Fiona Apple's "Sally's Song." But lucky for us, there are still plenty of Disney songs in need of high-profile covers. Here are a few to get you started:
"A Dream Is a Wish Your Heart Makes," as sung by Lorde
This old-school Disney tune (Cinderella, 1950) evokes the sound of retro crooners like Judy Garland and Cass Elliot, but who could take a fresh spin on it these days? Lorde. Her signature rasp would contrast nicely with the champagne-bubble optimism of the song.
"Feed the Birds," as sung by Regina Spektor
Come on, wouldn't it be cool? Spektor's voice is so mercurial; she seems to flit seamlessly between opposite sides of the emotional spectrum in an instant – at turns both melancholy and euphoric. Her ultra-expressive style and her clear-as-a-bell voice fit this song to a T.
"Gaston," as sung by Nathan Fillion
From his turn as Captain Hammer in Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, we know that no one plays a self-involved bravissimo-filled beefcake quite like Fillion – he'd make a perfect Gaston, and I'd pay hard cash to see him do it.
"I Won't Say I'm In Love," as sung by Florence Welch
Florence Welch may just be too cool for Disney. But, if she were to do a cover, I'd love to see her do some sort of love ballad. Her rock-tinged voice could make even the dorkiest Disney song sound cool, and I'd love to hear her croon out Hercules fan-favorite "I Won't Say I'm In Love." She's certainly got the attitude to play Meg!
What Disney covers do you want to see? Share in the comments!
The hits just keep on coming.
It seems like the Gallaghers continue to sink lower and lower into their respective death spirals (literally and figuratively) – will it ever end? (No). Frank, of course, is the literal example here. After his ill-advised stint in the sweat lodge last week, he wakes up in the hospital. His doctor is strangely upbeat, but he still tells it like it is: Frank doesn't have much time left, and his best option is hospice care. At the behest of Sammi, he agrees to take a look at some of the heavily-religious options (the only ones that in his price range – AKA free). Once he sees an unconcious stage 4 pancreatic cancer patient getting a foot rub and a woman in a coma (who does nothing but moan in pain) listening to an embellished folk version of "Amazing Grace," he's out of there like a shot. Guess he's hoping Sammi will be his hospice – and seeing the amount of narcotics she's loaded him up with, it might not be so bad.
Lip has it marginally better, but barely. Remember the ice in his eyes at the end of the previous episode? Well, it's still there. We see it when he tells the doctor he's the closest thing to a "responsible adult" that the family's got, and we really see it when Fiona uses her one phone call on him. He tells her that Liam was restrained and heavily sedated with possible brain damage without batting an eye at her subsequent hysterical sobs, and then hangs up on her to boot. It's a tough episode for him, though: he spends much of it trying track down Frank and keep the family together – two Herculean tasks rolled into one. Finally, near the end of the episode, he gets some victory (a hard-earned B+ on a paper), which gives him a brief moment of happiness, chased by a longer stretch of existentialism. A long shot of him camped out in the hospital lobby surrounded by textbooks tells us all we need to know: this is not a sustainable option.
Fiona has the toughest episode of all (even tougher than her cirrhosis-riddled, death-approaching father). She's transported like cattle, strip searched (the warden even ominously snaps on rubber gloves), and locked in a freezing jail cell – and after hours of begging for a phone call, she gets hung up on by Lip. Her public defender might just inch into competence (at least, that's the hint I got), but other than that, things are not looking good; she just barely manages to squeeze out the words "not guilty" for the judge – no meager feat, especially as she's spent the entirety of the episode wracked with soul-crushing guilt. The judge sets bail at $100,000, and Fiona knows that's not something her family (or Kev and V) can afford. But just as she's despondently poking at gray oatmeal and black toast, she learns that someone has posted bail. And that someone is Mike (I was genuinely surprised). With a promise of no further contact, he drops her off at the Gallagher house, and her homecoming may just be the toughest pill to swallow yet – she returns to a completely empty house. A bleak ending to an even bleaker episode.
Oh, and guess what we have to look forward to? Social workers (who were not impressed by a barely-conscious Frank) are coming back to the Gallagher home: buckle your seatbelts.
* I've always loved the fact that Sheila's the type of person that needs to be busy taking care of other people – it explains why she put up for Frank for so many years. The juxtaposition between a house full of Running Tree and his relatives and an empty one illustrates that perfectly.
* Also delightful: each separate Gallagher who needed introduction to Sammi and her weird son got a very truncated explanation – "new big sister" and "nephew."
* So Debs is back with her 20-year-old boyfriend. Where is that storyline going?
* I kind of love Kev. His simultaneous guilt for being a "responsible adult" in the room when Liam OD'd and absolution of Fiona is heartbreakingly sweet.
* Will Mike return? Let's hope so.
FOX Broadcasting Co.
From their very first moments together in the pilot, we saw it: the hate-chemistry is strong with these two (kind of like Marnie and Ray, another couple whose active hate for each other turned Unresolved Sexual Tension [UST] to just plain sexual tension).
Even though their OTP status was made clear in the first episode, the show decided to put their UST on hiatus for a bit, and we haven't been granted with many romantic (or even quasi-romantic) scenes since. That is, up until "The Bet."
"The Bet" was kind of Jake/Amy shipper heaven. Because, first off, Boyle's "truth bombs" (remember his stint on pain meds?) laid it all out on the table: "Jake, you know why little boys pull little girls' pigtails on the playground? … Because they like the girls and that's the only way they know how to get their attention." That definitely sounds about right.
The date was predictably awful (actually, maybe "predictable" is the wrong word; I certainly didn't expect Jake to drop $1400 bucks on everything from a terrible '80s bar mitzvah dress to a children's choir, but its good evidence for Boyle's truth bomby case), but the stakeout after? Surprisingly romantic – and the way that Jake chose to stay out with Amy (where both could be in their element) was very telling. The best part about a good romantic relationship is the way it reveals different sides of our favorite characters, and we definitely got to see Amy (and Jake, in particular) display previously unseen softer sides (plus, their undercover fake-out proposal gimmick was kind of amazing – even the criminals ship them!).
We get our second (all too brief) big shipper storyline in "Operation Broken Feather." Amy is offered a promotion to Major Crimes, and Jake does his damnedest to convince her to stay, all the while insisting (just a bit too emphatically) that he doesn't care about her at all. They have a big breakthrough when Jake finally mans up and admits that he likes working with her (or as he so eloquently puts it, his job "sucks a little less when I get to do it with you"). She takes his uncharacteristic show of maturity as a chance to be the immature one for once, taunting him: "You said I was a good detectiiive, you said I was niiice…" We get a handy little inversion of their relationship, that once again recalls Boyle's truth bomb – except this time Amy's pulling Jake's proverbial pigtails.
Alas, we got no ship-able moments in the most recent episode (and it could have been a Valentine's Day-centric episode! For shame!), but for shippers the world over, hope springs eternal.
What are your favorite Jake/Amy moments? Share in the comments!
With Christmas behind us (see you next year, Love Actually) and Valentine's Day around the corner, it's officially open season for romantic comedies. And who loves romantic comedies more than Mindy Kaling/Mindy Lahiri, creator of the best romantic comedy on TV/lovable OBGYN? Both Kaling and her fictional counterpart are confessed Nora Ephron fanatics – but the real question is, which one is their favorite?
It's a question that many of us, in one point in our lives, will face: You've Got Mail or Sleepless in Seattle? Some argue that YGM is a weak imitation of SIS, while others find that the digital rom-com is actually more romantic – after all, it's filled with that witty banter that's been a genre mainstay since before the days of The Taming of the Shrew... a factor that Sleepless misses out on. The Washington-set romance, on the other hand, has that magical (dare I say fantasy-like?) notion of love at first sight. It's a tough battle for sure (and that's not even factoring When Harry Met Sally into the mix).
There are many Ephron references sprinkled like Easter eggs throughout the series – there's the fact that Mindy takes personal offense that Danny refers to When Harry Met Sally as "When Doofus Met Dummy." There's even an episode laden with mistaken identity, technology-propelled flirting entitled "You've Got Sext."
But her definitive favorite is revealed in "Harry and Mindy," the second part of a two-episode arc where Mindy is forced to play the role of side character to B.J. Novak and Eva Amurri's blossoming romance. Despite (or perhaps in support of) the obvious When Harry Met Sally parallels, the cold open finds Mindy in the lobby of the Empire State Building: it turns out she likes to hang out there in hopes of locking eyes with that special someone across the room, a la "the second best romantic comedy Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks ever made, Sleepless in Seattle." So unless she really has a thing for Joe vs. the Volcano, it looks like You've Got Mail is the winner.
It's a sentiment that creator/star/namesake Mindy Kaling would agree with – after all, she once named You've Got Mail as "the most soul matey of soul mate movies," and it doesn't get much more soul matey than that.
Now that we know the Mindys' favorite Meg Ryan/Tom Hanks helmed flick, it's time to turn the question over to you: Sleepless in Seattle or You've Got Mail?
Oh, and don't forget: Chris Messina played a small role in You've Got Mail. (But don't let that sway your answer).
Shameless just has some kind of unspoken law against upwards motion, doesn't it? The higher you get (no pun intended), the farther you have to fall.
Ian makes his long awaited first appearance in this week's "There's The Rub." We first hear tell of him when Lip gets a rather rude awakening (he's reading Bleak House in the john when two soldiers kick in the door), and long story short, he learns Ian's on the run after attempting to steal a helicopter. Hoping to get to him before the U.S. Government does, he makes it his mission to find him. With Debbie at his side (it's nice to see these two characters interact – their relationship is surprisingly sweet), he manages to track Ian down: he's working as a bartender at a bar tellingly named White Swallow. He's certainly … different. He's had a makeover (synthetically red hair, eyeshadow, and a sequined tank), and he is uncharacteristically hyperactive. Sharp Debbie notices his changed attitude: "Why is he acting like that?" she asks as a bouncer ushers her and Lip (both underage) out of the nightclub. Looks like he's finally decided to partake in his father's vices, eh? Lip and Debbie seem understandably shaken by their brother's abrupt shift in lifestyle, but unfortunately, Ian's not the only one letting responsibility take the backseat:
Fiona, too, falls folly to drugs (though not in the way you might think). She and Mike are officially done (Robbie finally spilled the beans out of spite). Fiona fears she's out of a job (she did sleep with her boss-boyfriend's brother, after all), but Mike's better than that – he just transfers her to a different department. Her explanation to him is heartbreaking: she tells him she thinks she messed things up between them to prove to herself that she didn't deserve him – and that in the end, she proved herself right. At least she gets the satisfaction of vindication: she hocks a loogey in Robbie's face, and gets in a few swings with a baseball bat. But during the last visit, he accidentally leaves behind a packet of cocaine, and "aye, there's the rub." Fiona decides to break it out with her little birthday party with Kev and V – all in good fun, until little Liam gets into it and seriously ODs. The paramedics rush him off on a gurney, and when Fiona utters the words, "He got into some of my coke," we know it's Game Over: she's pacing the halls of the hospital when they cuff her and frog march her to the squad car.
Emmy Rossum mentioned in a (slightly spoiler-y) interview with Entertainment Weekly that this season, Fiona would be finding out just how much she's like Frank. And I have to say, her little coke-fueled birthday party was very reminiscent of Frank and Monica's parenting style; even down to the way she insists to a stone-faced Lip that she was watching Liam, and that she thought he was in the living room (you know, just one room over from the cocaine). He's not forgiving her anytime soon, and maybe he's right not to. It's hard to see Fiona, who's often the show's most sympathetic character, take Frank's spot at the bottom of the totem pole of adult responsibility.
And Lip takes this shift in balance hard: as the Gallagher clan + Kev and V rush out after Fiona, he stands frozen in the hallway. In the last episode, he complained about her high expectations for him, and this week he feels the pressure even more: with Ian on the run from the government and Fiona heading to the clink, he might just be the only level-headed Gallagher left (sparing Debbie, of course). Will it fall on Lip to hold the Gallaghers together?
* I'm liking Sheila's new boyfriend Running Tree (who uses the dating site ChristianMingle, because it's "a good way to meet nice white girls"). And I also love how Sheila is simultaneously cringeworthy and sweet; the most considerate racist ever.
* Kev and V team up with Mickey Milkovich and open up a "Rub 'n Tug" in Stan's old apartment above the bar. That can't be good, can it?
* There was also a nice bit of tension between Carl and Frank -- even though Carl has been more loyal than imaginable to Frank (breaking his leg, stealing him drugs, etc), Frank's putting all his eggs in new child Sammi's basket.
In this week's Shameless, "Strangers on a Train," life continues to kick the s**t out of its characters.
It's Fiona and Robbie (and some public transit fingering) that coin the episode's title – she just can't shake him. He won't stop sending her texts, so she goes to his house to tell him off, which of course leads to another tryst. Another tryst that Mike just happens to interrupt – he knocks on the door, which sends Fiona scrambling to hide under the table. Robbie likes to play with fire, inviting Mike into the kitchen where he knows Fiona's hiding, but Mike manages to leave without being any the wiser. She rightly cusses Robbie a blue streak on her way out, but we get the feeling business is still unfinished. She puts it best herself as she seeks council from V: "What do you want me to say? That I'm self-destructive? That liars and thieves and addicts turn me on? That I don't know how to do a normal relationship?" Check, check, and check.
Lip's continuing to struggle, too: when a convoluted train of events (including soaking wet pants and a locked dorm room) leads to him being 6 minutes late to a midterm, his professor bars him from taking the test. It's the last straw – he smashes a few cars' windows, goes on a mad dash away from the cops (or rather "campus security"), hides under a table for a spell (Gallagher™), and hops on the 'L' back home. His first stop? The Milkoviches'. After he nonchalantly tries to knock Mandy up (oh, Lip), she socks him in the face, and he's off to the Alibi Room. While Mandy physically knocks some sense into him, Kev does so metaphorically: he reminds him what a college education could mean for him and his future – and it works. Next we know, Lip's waiting in the cold outside his professor's building, where he's finally able to show that humility that he's been trying so desperately to hide this whole time. His professor responds to this moment of honesty, and decides to give him a second chance. Are we finally going to see Lip on the upswing again? Maybe, but good things lack permanence in the universe of Shameless.
Oh, and poor, poor Debbie – she's still on a mission to lose her virginity. She goes to Mandy Milkovich for advice (seeing as she ran a girl over, she wouldn't be my first choice for a mentor, but oh well). Mandy tells her she has to prove to her boyfriend that she won't run to the cops screaming statutory rape, and that the best way to show him "she's cool" is to send him some suggestive selfies. Debs snaps a pic of one of Carl's dirty mags and texts it his way. Almost immediately, her boyfriend asks her over, but it's for a talk, not a tryst: he thinks she's too young (she most certainly is). But poor Debs is so mortified and hurt that she storms out – she even tries to proposition a young lad at the bowling alley (which leads to some spectacularly awkward dialogue in a dark bathroom stall), but she decides she can't go through with it (phew!).
And worst for last: Frank learns that even with a prospective donor, finding a pro bono doctor to perform the surgery will take years. And since he doesn't have years, it's time for desperate measures: an extreme injury will get him the insurance money he needs, so he enlists the help of Carl. When Carl learns it's a matter of life and death, he feeds his father some narcotics, and jumps on his leg: yep, broken in 6 places. But even with the insurance money on the way, it's not to be – Frank learns that Sammi's liver isn't a match, and as a result, he's so angry that he blurts out that she's his daughter. She's horrified, (Rightfully so: "You dry humped my thigh for half an hour yesterday!"), and literally throws him out of her trailer. But strangely, even after screaming at him to "GEEEEET. OUUUUUUUT!" she comes to meet him at the Alibi Room. I guess she decided that a despicable father is better than no father at all – a fact that the rest of the Gallaghers might contest. All in all, a frenetically solid episode – we're already looking forward to next week.
* Interesting that everyone had their counselor this episode – Fiona had V, Lip had Kev, and Debbie had Mandy.
* It's also worth mentioning that Mickey managed to put 6 Russian hookers out of work. Uh-oh.
* From the preview, it looks like Ian will be back next week (but what we really want is more Sheila!)
As Marnie stormed out of Grumpy's Ray's, I could only think one thing:
"Oh my God, Marnie and Ray are like, totally gonna do it."
Maybe that was only my inner Shoshanna talking; maybe it was something more. After all, it would make sense: both were recently unceremoniously dumped out of the most serious relationships of their lives, and as such, both are flailing to find their footing. Will their next big mistake be ... with each other?
In a weird way, it kind of makes sense: Ray's just angry enough at Shoshanna to go after her friend, and Marnie's in just enough of a downward spiral to lower her snobby standards enough to accept him. Plus, we know that pursuing friend's exes is something of an M.O. of hers; she's plenty petty enough to do it. Oh, and remember, Ray and Charlie are best friends (yeah, I totally forgot too) – so he really is the best possible candidate for revenge.
Yes, Ray despises Marnie, and vice versa. But hey, they have that kind of hate-chemistry that a traditional sitcom would have capitalized on long ago, the kind of hate-chemistry that could potentially fuel a will-they-won't-they plotline for at least a season (post break-up Ross and Rachel, Buffy and Spike, and Jeff and Britta are only the tip of the iceberg here).
And remember all those creepy things Ray said about Marnie before he got together with Shoshanna? In season one's "Hannah's Diary" he said mentioned a very disturbing fantasy that involved chaining Marnie up to a pole and whipping her – then, in "Hard Being Easy," he tells, her "I don't even want to hate-f**k you; it's that real. You freak me out!" I apologize for the following phrase, but it has to be said: "methinks the lady doth protest too much."
I also think he should rescind that statement barring hate sex, because it might just be on the table.