Rosie Narasaki
  • Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /media/www/hollywood/Web/releases/20150325105258/vendor/doctrine/common/lib/Doctrine/Common/Annotations/FileCacheReader.php on line 202 Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /media/www/hollywood/Web/releases/20150325105258/vendor/doctrine/common/lib/Doctrine/Common/Annotations/FileCacheReader.php on line 202 Warning: Invalid argument supplied for foreach() in /media/www/hollywood/Web/releases/20150325105258/vendor/doctrine/common/lib/Doctrine/Common/Annotations/FileCacheReader.php on line 202 Top 5 Mindy / Danny Moments
    By: Rosie Narasaki Jan 30, 2014
    Beth Dubber/FOX Cue screaming: Mindy and Danny finally kissed, and to celebrate I've compiled a list of The Mindy Project's most adorable, shippiest scenes. Jordin Althaus/FOX 5. Mindy spends the night at Danny's Um, can you say adorable? Pretty much all of "You've Got Sext" was full to the brim with squee-inducing Mindy / Danny goodness. The way he's freaking out about the fact that she might have a crush on him?   The way she sets up camp in his bed and giggles at mating frogs on the Nature Channel?   The way he tells her over pancakes that her workplace crush is not out of her league because she's "great"? I LOVE IT. 4. Danny Castellano is the best personal trainer In "Danny Castellano Is My Personal Trainer," how sweet is it that, as Mindy's listing all the ways she could improve her body (getting rid of cellulite, having a boob job, and magically gaining blue eyes are all at the top of her list), Danny shuts down her low self-esteem with a simple "I don't want that." He then goes on to tell her, "You're a woman and that's good; look like a woman." How far they've come since the pilot. Also, that shot of Mindy staring Danny's junk right down the barrel and subsequently screaming in terror was hilarious. 3. The pre-Haiti near-kiss In "Take Me With You," Mindy and Danny share a heart to heart in the lounge – he's comforting her in his slightly abrasive Danny way (by teasing her about her pixie cut), when he stops to take some "schmutz" off of her glasses. The result? Their faces are too close! They hold eye contact for too long! Alert, alert! Alas, Mindy has to go and ruin the lovely moment by announcing that she's back together with Casey. 2. Danny's dance (AKA kiss close call take 2) Um, he choreographed a dance. To a song he hates. If that doesn't spell "true love," I don't know what does. His dance to Aaliyah's "Try Again" was pure gold, and the overlong hug and meaningful stare that followed? Even better. Darn you, Peter Prentice, for interrupting that. 1. The first kiss Okay, okay, be cool guys, it finally happened. Their airplane kiss was just what the doctor ordered for this slow burn, and that little When Harry Met Sally button on the episode? Perfect, as was the little title card reading, "Happily Ever After?" We know it won't be smooth sailing for these two, but who cares? They kissed! And now we have to wait until April to see what happens next. Grr. So what are your favorite Mindy / Danny moments? Share them in the comments! Follow @Hollywood_com //
  • Is Zooey Deschanel Behind The Decline of 'New Girl?'
    By: Rosie Narasaki Jan 28, 2014
    FOX Broadcasting Co. New Girl has problems. There's no denying the sitcom has issues. Its first season was critically acclaimed (and quite fun), but it's all been downhill from there. Season 2 skewed mediocre, and season 3? My heart broke a little bit when I watched that first season premiere wherein Jess and Nick run away to Mexico (really? Really?) Let's just say it has not been smooth sailing. Season 3 thus far has been disjointed, inconsistent, and largely unfunny – it's like it's become a bad parody of its original self. And I think one of the main culprits is Zooey Deschanel herself. Sure, writing plays a large role in the show's decline.   But I would argue that Deschanel just isn't up to the challenge of carrying a sitcom. Sure, she's had her good moments, but after basically exhausting her wheelhouse of talent? It's become harder and harder to watch. Think back to New Girl's earlier episodes: sure, Season 1 was generally its strongest, but those first few episodes were rough. And when did things start to improve? When they decided to make the show more of an ensemble-based comedy, rather than just a star vehicle for Ms. Deschanel. But as Nick and Jess have finally gotten together, Deschanel has been pushed front and center more than ever before. I'm not saying Zooey Deschanel isn't very good at doing what she does. She is. The problem? The parameters of what she can do are quite limited, especially for someone headlining a sitcom that many hoped would be the millennial version of Friends. She just doesn't have the comedic chops, nor the depth of acting – a fact that becomes more and more clear as the series progresses. Her zany, goofy brand of humor is only funny to a point, and she's consistently outperformed by her castmates – I'd say all of them are funnier than her, even those that bear the ball-and-chain of a character that remains largely undefined after two and a half seasons. And just to be clear, I'm not criticizing the usual suspects: her "adorkable" style or ultra-feminine girlie-ness. In fact, in the interest of full disclosure, I'm far more twee than I should care to admit, and follow a blog entitled WWZDW (What Would Zooey Deschanel Wear?). No, I respect her personal style and attitude. But is she a compelling hub for a sitcom? Signs point to no. Follow @Hollywood_com //
  • 'Shameless' Recap: "Like Father, Like Daughter"
    By: Rosie Narasaki Jan 27, 2014
    Showtime Oh, my. As much as I love it, sometimes, the frenetic and nihilistic chaos of Shameless makes it hard to watch. I'm a rom-com girl! Where are the happily ever afters? (I'm not quite naïve enough to ask where they happy endings are. There are plenty of those). *Sigh* – let's check in with our Gallagher clan. Frank's still a man on a mission. After bumming grocery money from Carl (who's forced to resort to shoplifting) to buy weed, he masterminds a "chance" meeting with his long-lost daughter, Samantha: he gives a kid a blunt as incentive to punch her poor son in the face, so he can act the hero. It works, she buys it, and soon she's buying him lunch, too (or cheesy fries, anyway). He works his charms on her, and his charm in addition to their kismet-like similarities, she's soon inviting him to her son's dodgeball tournament. And soon after that, he's back at her trailer, and she's offering him her liver – and more. She puts the moves on him hard, and he scrambles to squirm his way out from under her. Notice that he doesn't put the kibosh on entirely – he just wants to "take it slow." Was this the plan all along? To seduce his own daughter into giving him a liver? Or did he just turn into the skid, and play with the hand he was dealt? Either way, Frank always manages to exceed our expectations in just how low he's willing to go. And right on schedule, Fiona and Mike are starting to unravel. Not that he knows yet – no, he walked right by Fiona and his recently-out-of-rehab loose cannon of a brother having sex on his kitchen counter. The brother – Robbie – seems flat-out crazy: both his manipulations to get Mike out of the picture (passed out in the bathroom) and machinations to get to Fiona seem almost psychopathic. And she's buying what he's selling – does she just need a bad boy in her life? Is this her way of pushing the self-destruct button with Mike? Or, is she, as Robbie suggests, an "addict?" (the episode is aptly named "Like Father, Like Daughter," after all). All of the above, I'd guess. Through Robbie, it's interesting to see a whole new breed of alcoholic/addict – one with means. But money or no, his behavior mirrors Frank's: he's stolen from his family to get drug money (sound familiar?), and has no intention of staying on the wagon, even after his family split with a cool $20,000 on a ritzy rehab to get him clean. Lip, meanwhile, is still struggling to keep all the balls in the air. I wondered last week if he was going to crash and burn or pull out of his nosedive, and this week we saw a bit of both. He's actually studying now, but something's gotta give. His boss at his dismal workstudy gig in the cafeteria won't give him time off to study, he has no computer (he's forced to borrow his roommate's while his roommate's otherwise occupied – with his girlfriend), and even after staying up all night and doing jumping jacks to stay awake, he's still pulling C's. He's pushed to breaking point at work, and kicks some crates, punches the dumpster, and throws his apron on the ground – it's a moment of well-deserved angst, but in the end, he knows he can't quit the job that pays his tuition. Stray thoughts: * Poor Debbie – her attempt at a sexy nightie was shades of cringe-worthy and heart breaking. Though I have to admit, it was a relief that her odd duck of a boyfriend (?) didn't want to sleep with her.   * Yay, Sheila's back! And it seems she's discovered Christian Mingle. Unfortunately, her online dating storyline was a bit lackluster – maybe the writers are having a hard time placing her now that Karen's out of the picture and she's no longer "dating" Frank ... hopefully, they'll find a way to use her to better effect soon. * It was nice to get a break from Kev and V this week. More Sheila, less Kev and V! * Does anyone else find it weird that Lip's struggling so much? Sure, the University of Chicago is fondly known as the place "where fun goes to die," and he's got a lot more on his plate than the average student, but he's still a genius, right? * Speaking of Lip, does anyone else think Lip and his roommate's glare-y girlfriend are going to get it on at some point? Follow @Hollywood_com //
  • Sherlock's Mind Palace Was Just As Fabulous As We Thought
    By: Rosie Narasaki Jan 27, 2014
    BBC We've seen glimpses of it here and there, but in the Sherlock season 3 finale (sobs), we finally got a good, extended look at Sherlock's "mind palace" (his words, not ours). And it didn't disappoint: it's always interesting to watch Sherlock retreat to his mind palace, but watching him take refuge there in the hopes of saving himself from a potentially fatal gunshot wound?  Fascinating.   What a great window into Sherlock’s thought process – what takes us minutes to process passes through his mind in seconds. It's a visually striking (striking all around, actually) and surreal bit of TV that reminds us just what makes Sherlock special. Molly, a scientist herself, walks us (and Sherlock) through most of it, starting off by slapping him silly (or is it slapping him un-silly?) as we see flashes of flashback mingled with possible flashforward (an even whiter version of Sherlock in the morgue with Molly). Even Sherlock's favorite idiot Anderson and Mycroft (spewing more epithets about Sherlock's inferior epithet, no less) show up to help him determine the best way to prevent himself from bleeding out. Then, once he's safely (?) on the ground, he has to keep from going into shock, and what he does to calm himself down is downright adorable (and slightly heartbreaking): he pictures his childhood dog. All this happens as warning sirens intermittently blare and a general oversaturation of light seems to take over everywhere. Perhaps the biggest surprise is who Sherlock turns to to distract himself from the crippling pain of a bullet wound: Moriarty. Moriarty's locked up in a padded cell in the distant corner of Sherlock's mind palace, chained up, straight-jacketed, and more deranged than ever. Moriarty lulls Sherlock to sleep with a bastardization of a nursery rhyme, and Sherlock's heart stops. But as Moriarty taunts him, he happens to bring up John. And Johnlock shippers cheered with joy when it was the idea of John in danger that caused Sherlock to keep fighting for his life: Moriarty only has to mention John (who was very conspicuously absent during the whole mind palace excursion) and Sherlock's waning heartbeat returns. The whole sequence was thrilling, dreamlike, and more than a bit frightening. Let's hope we get to explore Sherlock's mind palace even more in the ever-distant season 4! Follow @Hollywood_com //
  • Netflix Must-Series: 'Slings and Arrows'
    By: Rosie Narasaki Jan 25, 2014
    Showcase They say it's the golden era of TV – what with dramas like Mad Men and Homeland on the air (not to mention the recently dearly departed Breaking Bad), it's hard to argue with fact. But even with stiff competition from more recent critical darlings, Slings and Arrows (off the air for almost ten years now) is still one of the best TV shows I've ever seen. Helmed by unstable artistic director Geoffrey Tennant (Paul Gross), ghost (yes, ghost) Oliver Wells (Stephen Ouimette), and resident diva Ellen Fanshaw (Martha Burns), the performances on this show are superb. Oh, and series writers Mark McKinney and Susan Coyne are equally blessed in acting gifts as they are in writing gifts (lucky bastards). You'll also want to look out for pre-fame Rachel McAdams taking her turn as Ophelia, Sarah Polley figuratively killin' it as Cordelia, and William Hutt literally killin' it as Lear. Full of theater archetypes that you know and love/hate – the "ingénue" who chooses to play Ophelia as if she's stoned, the constantly harangued stage manager, and Darren Nichols, who perfectly embodies every pretentious douchebag director you ever saw (down to the ratty scarves and tinted, black-framed glasses) – Slings and Arrows is (probably literally) a laugh a minute. And that's not even taking into account the way it deftly adapts some of Shakespeare's most loved plays: season one tackles Hamlet (cheer up, you melancholy Dane!), season two takes on the Scottish play, and the final season does King Lear (and no Lear is complete without a heroin-shooting lead actor, right?). The original tagline for the show was, "The real show is backstage," and it lives up that statement. The drama of the actors and production team mirrors, transforms – and dare I say, elevates? – Shakespeare's magic. This show has an inherent beauty (not to mention a wonderful sense of humor) that everyone will be able to respond to. So queue up that Netflix Instant Watch! Follow @Hollywood_com //
  • 'Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.': What's Next For Skye?
    By: Rosie Narasaki Jan 24, 2014
    ABC Television Network Last week, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. teased us with clues regarding Coulson's mysterious resurrection. After a half season of dropped hints (and about a month on hiatus), we were finally promised a concrete answer. Unfortunately, "The Magical Place" didn't quite deliver; it ended up asking more questions than it actually answered, leaving us as befuddled as ever. "Seeds" did something similar with Skye's origin story. It wasn't quite as big of a disappointment-riddled tease as "The Magical Place" was, but we're still itching for more. We have some knowledge now: it turns out that S.H.I.E.L.D. got wind of an 0-8-4 (or, "an object of unknown origin") in a small village of China – they went after it, only to find that the whole village had been massacred in attempt to save what turned out to be a baby. A baby Skye, to be exact. Agent Linda Avery, the SHIELD agent who recovered her (and every agent involved, sans one) was also killed – but not before ensuring that Skye would bounce around the foster system until reaching adulthood; a necessary evil to make sure she was never found. It all raises the question, what exactly made Skye an 0-8-4? The obvious answer is that she has powers of some kind, though we've yet to see any hint of them thus far. We've seen the origin stories of Graviton (remember the guy from "The Asset"?) and Blizzard – could this all be the origin story of Skye, Insert Superhero Name Here? She could also be from some other planet or universe – or maybe she's some kind of key, a la Dawn Summers of Buffy the Vampire Slayer fame. Anyways, it looks like all we can do is wait. The teaser warned us that the next episode (which doesn't air until February, argh) will contain an "astonishing series-changing final act." Who knows what that means – ideally, we'll be finding out more about Skye and her 0-8-4 status (or more about Coulson), but we know better by now than to get our hopes up. Ah well. At least the whole Coulson-is-her-secret-dad/May-is-her-secret-mom theories are pretty effectively busted now. Follow @Hollywood_com //
  • How Did 'HIMYM' Not Know That Yellowface Was Wrong?
    By: Rosie Narasaki Jan 21, 2014
    Fox Television Oh, "Slapsgiving 3: Slappointment in Slapmarra," you tricky bastard, you. I had originally intended this post as a fun, side-by-side comparison between each slap (one of HIMYM's favorite long-running gags): which one was executed best, which one gave the best ratio of Marshall's glee to Barney's fear, etc. But alas it isn't to be so. Because of some egregious racism (and generally shoddy writing), this episode doesn't even get on the board. No awesome slap countdown like in the original "Slapsgiving," no well-deserved cathartic slap like in "Stuff," nor the fateful double-slap of "Disaster Averted." And it certainly can't beat the clamor of Lily, Ted, and Robin for the honor of slapping Barney in "Slapsgiving 2: Revenge of the Slap." No, the joke's on you, How I Met Your Mother. Because that racist piece of crap was by far the least entertaining of the slaps we've seen so far. I mean, come on, HIMYM. Did you really think it would be okay to doll up your main cast in yellowface? In this day and age? I get that it was part of a gag, but there's really no excusing it, and the level of ignorance it takes for a whole writing staff to sign off on it is quite honestly kind of astounding. And even if I wasn't offended by it, "Slapsgiving 3" was a sad imitation of an already-racist Tarantino homage to a kung fu flick. Its parody game was weak, especially when compared with a show like Community, which consistently cranks out much funnier genre-twisting parodies ("A Fistful of Paintballs" and "For A Few Paintballs More" come to mind, a glorious pair of episodes which emulated both a spaghetti Western and Star Wars in (almost) the same breath). HIMYM has nothing on Community when it comes to parody game; what a waste of racism. (kind of like Avatar: The Last Airbender, a film so bad that no one bothered to watch it.) The best part of the episode? The fact that it got #HowIMetYourRacism trending on Twitter.   Follow @Hollywood_com //
  • 'Shameless' Recap: My Oldest Daughter
    By: Rosie Narasaki Jan 20, 2014
    Showtime We pick up just where we left off last week – Frank and Carl bonding over bodily functions, Debs dating an older man, Fiona getting her feet wet in her new job and new relationship, Lip getting his ass handed to him at college, and Kev and V experiencing pregnancy drama. We'll check in with Kev and V first. Things are looking uncharacteristically good: Kev inherits the Alibi Room from Stan in a hilarious/horrifying (a combination that Shameless has always done to a T) scene involving Stan's last will and testament and Stan's "sniveling fagotty fag of a fagorama daughter" (Stan's words not ours, we promise). Kev feels so guilty for inheriting over Stan's son that he agrees to pay him $500/month for the next 2 years. Doable, right? Wrong. It turns out the Alibi Room brings in very little profit – and things get even worse when V realizes she's carrying triplets: add that to Carol's baby, and that makes four. What will they do? V seems dead serious when she says she wants Carol to get an abortion, but she has Carol and Kev against her on that one. As for Fiona and her boss boyfriend? I smell trouble. There are already trust issues brewing – he's bent out of shape because the night before, she said she would call and didn't. She does her best to joke and flirt her way out of it, but he's determined to talk things out – and things only get worse when a bout of road rage prompts an angry (and crazy) driver to take a baseball bat to her cherry company car's windshield. Instead of telling the truth, she blithely tells Mike it must have been a fallen tree branch. Unfortunately, she's already gone viral, and he catches her red-handed. Sure, honesty is important, but honesty in terms of your boyfriend and your boss are very different things, right? This episode we get a peek of what a dangerous line it is she toes between her personal and professional life. He's really falling for her, and as such, he might just be the kind of ex-boyfriend/current boss to really make her life hell. Debs is also experiencing some boy trouble – her boyfriend (remember him from last week?) invites her over to his place, and after a quick look in his wallet she quickly discovers two horrifying facts: one, he's carrying around a condom, and two, he's twenty. Twenty. She panics and tells him she's only thirteen, but if he's fazed he barely shows it – their date continues, as they hold hands on the couch. We don't know what happens after that, but we do know that Debs stomps straight to her room after their date ... uh oh. Lip's not doing so great either: his grades are still dismal, he gets almost no traction with the ladies (one exception – a shy-looking girl at the party who turns out to be decidedly not shy in the sack), his roommate's girlfriend still shoots him dirty looks, and even his friends from his work in the cafeteria have families to get home to at the end of the day. Will he pull out of the nosedive, or are we going to see him crash and burn? And speaking of crashing and burning: Carl and Frank continue to toe the line between sweet and disgusting ("he smells like a monkey cage" – again, Shameless in a nutshell). Frank's liver failure has gotten even more dire (watching him squirt booze into his eyes this week is almost as horrifying as it was watching him retching and butt-chugging last week), so Carl makes it his mission to get him a new liver. A surprisingly patient nurse (another of Shameless' great guest stars) explains how the donor list works, and gives him at-home blood tests to see if any of the 18-and-up family members are a match. Lip's a no-go, but Fiona? O positive, just like Frank. Needless to say, she refuses without batting an eye. Frank responds in kind, cool as a cucumber, as he informs them he'll be asking his oldest daughter, Elizabeth. Mic drop. No but, seriously? What? Is it just me or does a long-lost daughter seem a little soapy for Shameless? I suppose if anyone would have secret, estranged children, it would be Frank, but still. The episode cliffhangs us, so I guess we'll just have to wait until next week to see just who this Elizabeth is. Follow @Hollywood_com //
  • Our Favorite Scenes from 'Scott Pilgrim vs. The World'
    By: Rosie Narasaki Jan 15, 2014
    Universal via Everett Collection Did you know that over the past year or so Bryan Lee O'Malley has been creating color editions of his Scott Pilgrim series? Yup – Scott Pilgrim Gets it Together  came out in November, and Scott Pilgrim vs. The Universe is due out in April. In honor of the color hardcovers, here are some of our favorite scenes from Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (boy, was it hard to narrow this down). Vegan powers It's hard to choose a favorite evil ex battle (Matthew Patel's pirate-y outfit and Roxy Richter's "I'm a little bi-FURIOUS" are definitely honorable mentions) but Todd's mix of vegan superiority and unabashed ignorance (or as Scott puts it, "cocky cock"-ness) is hilarious – add that to a fangirling Knives, and the tension-riddled room, and you've got a spectacular tableau. It should also be noted that Todd was able to punch the highlights out of poor Knives' hair (dramatic yell: "He punched the highlights out of her hair!"). And the concept of the vegan police is kind of amazing. Wallace Wells: Super-gossip He can send texts in his sleep. Enough said. The Final Battle Scott earned the power of love! Scott earns the power of self-respect! Knives Chau kicks some serious Gideon Graves ass (in fact, she's so badass that it almost has you wishing that Edgar Wright went with the original ending where Scott ends up with Knives instead of Ramona)! What's not to like? Kim Pine Pretty much every single scene with Kim Pine was pure awesome: her death stare across the room when Scott tries to brush over their breakup, "If your life had a face, I'd punch it," and of course: Feel free to add your favorites in the comments! Follow @Hollywood_com //
  • Shameless Recap: A Fresh Start?
    By: Rosie Narasaki Jan 14, 2014
    Showtime So, where did we leave off? Somewhere as chaotic as usual, no doubt. We pick up with everyone going in opposite directions: two Gallaghers have officially entered adolescence (it's a bitch), one has secretly joined the army, one went to University of Chicago, one has a steady job for the first time, and one is bed-ridden, liver damaged, and still the über-alcoholic we know and love (?). Debbie has officially become a teenager and she has all the attitude (and poorly-deployed eyeshadow) to go with it. She sasses big sister Fiona, she loads up on the fruity lipgloss, she wobbles down the sidewalk in snakeskin stilettos – oh, and she's auctioning her virginity online for a million dollars: you know, normal teenager stuff. She also happens to meet a cute yet older boy (he can drive, she's still in middle school). He seems sweet so far, but time will tell if he's a creep – and judging by the Gallagher's track record, he's going to be more trouble than he looks. Fiona also has a new boyfriend (her supervisor at work), as well as a cherry new job; and things are starting to get more serious in both avenues. She realizes she gets insurance, benefits, and a 401k, and she finally sleeps with Mike. It's a little awkward; they certainly don't have the same physical chemistry as she did with Jimmy (who is still mysteriously gone, by the way – is he dead?), but maybe it's time for a change of pace. We'll see – like with Debbie's boyfriend, at this point, he's still something of a wild card. And poor, poor, Lip. Sexiled (and snubbed) by his bumbling roommate's girlfriend, given a D by an officious TA, and looked down upon by everyone for his work-study job in the dining hall, he's definitely experiencing the flipside of big-fish-little-pond syndrome. This isn't to say he doesn't deserve getting knocked down a peg, but anyone who's gone to college can probably feel his pain in at least one of his misfortunes. (Even if you always got impeccable grades and didn't need workstudy, chances are you had at least one truly horrible roommate). Oh, and speaking of Lip, it looks like Mandy Milkovich still carries a torch; in fact, both the Milkoviches are pining for their respective Gallaghers – Mickey does his best to inconspicuously ask after Ian throughout the episode, and in a surprisingly touching scene, he tries to jack off to a portrait of Ian, but becomes so upset that he punches a crater into the bathroom mirror (it was much more moving than it sounds, okay?). Who'd have thunk we'd be feeling this bad for psychopathic Mickey, of all people? Meanwhile, Veronica and Carl are getting picked dry by Veronica's mother, Carol, who happens to be carrying their future child. She needs money for all the pregnancy staples: ultrasounds, doctor's appointments, and most importantly, chic maternity wear from Nordstrom's. Which would be fine and well, except for the fact that Veronica realizes that she, too is pregnant. How will they handle two kids when they can barely afford one? Veronica frets over how she'll tell Kevin, but the moment presents itself perfectly: when he returns home, saddened by the death of his boss, she comforts him with some much-needed good news. And Frank has sunk possibly lower than we've ever seen – like Mickey, it's amazing the depth of sympathy we feel for him even after the breadth of damage he's done. Tony (Fiona's cop old flame) finds him in a crackhouse, near-dead, next to a very telling syringe, spoon, and rubber tubing. Fiona's all for dumping him on a park bench "far, far away" but Carl insists on keeping him. Carl's always been his dad's biggest supporter, and it's painfully hard to watch as Frank cajoles him into helping him butt-chug (ew) some Franzia (double-ew). And perhaps it's his way of thanking his son, but Frank proceeds to give 12-year-old Carl the lowdown on masturbation ("Hold it like an egg," and "If you don't use lubrication, you'll get blisters" are only a couple of his gems of wisdom). Somehow, their scenes together manage to be as sweet as they are horrifying. The button on the episode? Carl returning home with a Costco-sized tub of Vaseline. Follow @Hollywood_com //