The Sherlock series 3 premiere episode "The Empty Hearse" was a kitchen sink homage to every corner of that show's fandom. From Mycroft and Sherlock bickering over a game of Operation to Moriarty and Sherlock sharing a fan fiction-inspired intimate moment on the roof of St. Barts, there was a "squee" moment for everyone.
But extra special attention was paid to fans of the Sherlock Holmes/Molly Hooper pairing — Sherlolly, for short — and boy, do we have feelings about this episode.
The opening sequence showed a resolution to Sherlock's Reichenbach fake-out that would have made James Bond hang up his tuxedo. After leaping off the building attached to a giant bungee cord, Sherlock snaps back up, crashes through a window, and sweeps Molly off her feet with an epic, tow-curling kiss. Related: that moment where Benedict Cumberbatch shook out his coat, ruffled that glorious hair, and stalked towards Louise Brealey was probably gif-ed faster than Tumblr has ever gif-ed anything before. The sequence is soon revealed to be a product of the now insane Philip Anderson's imagination. But, when Sherlock visits him to share the "real," slightly less dramatic story, Anderson writes it off because he knows that he would be the very last person to whom Sherlock would tell the whole truth. So that means we can accept the first scenario as canon, right? Right.
Why else would Molly assume that Sherlock summons her to Baker Street to invite her to dinner, and not to "solve crimes"? (Not very forthcoming with that engagement information there, huh, Molly?) Regardless, they do go out on a few cases together. They share some knowing looks, reach the same deductions at the same times, and, when Molly asks what John would do in a situation, Sherlock replies, "You're not being John, you're being yourself." He tells her the day was to thank her for what she did for him and tells her that Moriarty's greatest mistake was assuming that Molly meant nothing to Sherlock. "The one person he thought didn't matter to me was the one person that mattered the most." He notices her ring and congratulates her (with a hint of melancholy, perhaps?). Of course, Molly's fiance just happens to be a tall, curly-haired bloke who's fond of scarves and coats with high collars.
Call us illogical, but if the once friendless Sherlock Holmes has built himself an unconventional family, then couldn't he maybe feel romantic affection as well? That's character development, people.
If you're wondering why it seems like Joseph Gordon-Levitt is everywhere these days, it's because he is. On Jan. 18, Pivot will premiere HitRECord on TV, a variety series with content created on the collaborative online production company that JGL founded. Your executive producer and host? Who else?
On paper, HitRECord is the complete opposite of a vanity project. Contributors from around the globe post their work — anything from short films to poetry — and the rest of the community is invited to add or manipulate that content however they'd like. So, someone you've never met may compose the perfect score to your silent movie. Or your poem could be remixed into a dubstep track. But let's hope not.
Anyway, it's pretty brilliant. This is the way that the internet works anyway. Content is constantly adopted and changed. Gordon-Levitt's found a way to validate that process, and any royalties earned by the work on the site is split 50-50 with the artists.
But take one look at any of the marketing for the site or the series and it looks like it's a one-man show. In the poster, JGL looms over a cartoon city, looking for all the world like he's conducting the plethora of weird creatures beneath him. Are we supposed to take this as a metaphor?
Maybe we're being too cynical. It's obviously a labor of love, and Gordon-Levitt is rarely seen at a premiere or on a chat show couch without his red HitRECord pin. If the face of the Don Jon star can bring attention to the work of thousands of artists who deserve all the awards we're giving to really attractive people for no reason, it's worth the concurrent self-promotion.
The New York Times reported that an American judge ruled that Sherlock Holmes, along with friends and foes John Watson, Mycroft Holmes, Moriarty, and more of Arthur Conan Doyle's characters, are now in the United States public domain. The judgement means that no copyright law applies to the use of story elements in any Holme adventures published before 1923. There were a few after that, so adaptors have to take care to not run up a bill with the author's estate by using any characters or plots introduced in those later works. But forget that advice, because we are all set with Sherlock reboots at the moment.
Unless you're as culturally clueless as the detective himself, you know that the character has had a massive renaissance these last few years. Robert Downey Jr. imbued Holmes with serious swagger in the Guy Ritchie-helmed 2009 film version. Between that movie and its sequel, Doctor Who showrunner Steven Moffat and writer Mark Gatiss launched a phenomenon to drive the internet to insane acts of meme-ing in 2010 with the slick BBC series. And CBS got into the game with its own modernized take Elementary, this time set in New York City and with a Joan, not a John. Even our collective obsession with forensic procedurals hinted at the successful resurgence of this character. There wouldn't be an NCIS without Sherlock Holmes.
And now he's free. And it's tempting. But between Jude Law and RDJ's chemistry; Benedict Cumberbatch's cheekbones; and Jonny Lee Miller's mania, there just isn't room out here for another version. At least not a good one. Any attempt to create a Holmes that doesn't directly copy any of these interpretations will just lead to a watered-down or barely recognizable imitation. And Sherlock deserves better than that.
Community made its triumphant return last night with two new back-to-back episodes. Relive the double-header with our 15 favorite quotes!
On what's really important.Jeff: "Look, I might be broke, desperate, and nearly homeless, but I still got one thing deep down inside that gives me power — *repo man takes his whiskey away* — yep, that was it. That was all I had."
On important emotional and safety upkeep.Dean: "After you and your friends left, it was closed for sentimental reasons. And asbestos reasons."
On Donald Glover's imminent departure.Abed: "A repiloting can be intense. New people show up, regulars shift roles or even fall away. Season 9 of Scrubs, Zach Braff was only in the first six episodes."Troy: "Son of a bitch! After everything Scrubs did for him?"
On throwing blame around, willy nilly.Britta: "That's like me blaming owls for how bad I suck at analogies."
On missing minor characters.Troy: "You guys feel weird about doing this without ... Magnitude?"
On not even being worth a Winger speech.Jeff: "No monologue for you. Give me your tie."
On any excuse for a good Troy cry.Troy: "I'm much sadder than the rest of you. I will figure out why later."
On Nicholas Cage.Abed: "But is he good or is he bad? Every actor is something. Robert Downey Jr, good. Jim Belushi, bad. Van Damme, the good kind of bad. Johnny Depp, the bad kind of good."
On, oh snap, your over-achieving girlfriend is here to whip you into shape.Chang: "Awwwww, she in yo class, yo!"
On I knew it!Buzz: "Teachers don't have to explain minuses. Why do you think we invented them?"
On confusing threats and Greendale assignments.Jeff: "What the hell? He gave you a dead rat?"Annie: "No! This is my witness intimidation project."
On getting into character.Abed, as Nicholas Cage: "I'm a cat. I'm a sexy cat."
On losing your religion.Shirley: "Well, if you're looking for something to believe in, I know a skinny little Hebrew handyman you can meet."
On having Jonathan Banks in the cast.Buzz: "I'm taste-testing rations for the shelter I'm digging."Troy: "Are you the coolest person in the world?"Buzz: "I doubt it."
And finally, on the Dean's musical French-lady inner-monologue."I'm lonely because he's not learning Excel.I'm dying because he's not learnng Excel.Like the sailors who smoke cigarettes on the canalBut Excel won't be learned todayMy thoughts...are French."
Community returned last night, and with it, Jeff Winger and his sweeping speeches. Every few episodes, Joel McHale will get to stand up in front of a study room, classroom, or courtroom and spout the kind of wisdom that only comes when one is knocked off of one's slick lawyer pedestal and thrown into the community college pool with the rest of the screw-ups. We're looking back on our favorite orations by Greendale's big man on campus.
"You are all better than you think you are. You are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself."
Jeff unites the misfits in his Spanish study group and prounces them a — you guessed it — a community. Aw ... that's nice.
"Origins of Vampire Mythology"
Don't you wish you had a Jeff Winger handy to check you with a firm, "No, woman," any time you felt the need to prostrate yourself for someone who treats you like crap?
Jeff: "What if a ghost took the pen?"Abed: "Let him finish."Jeff: "I am finished. For real. Honestly, seriously, why not? Why not just 'a ghost took the pen'?"Troy: "Okay, I’ve been saying that for hours."Jeff: "And we should have been listening to Troy from the beginning. Guys, look in your hearts and answer this question honestly- what’s more likely, that someone in this group doesn’t belong in this group, or… ghosts? If we have to choose between turning on each other or pinning it on some specter with unfinished pen-related business, I’m sorry, but my money’s on 'ghost.'"
It's not a pen, it's a principle. And Jeff spells out what this missing pen means in a classic Community bottle episode.
"Intro to Political Science"
We'd vote for him.
"Introduction to Finality"
"It's that easy: you just stop thinking about what's good for you and start thinking about what's good for someone else ... and you can change the whole game with one move. Now if you like this idea, you can make it true by doing something good for everyone here: throw this case out of court. It's dumb. That is all."
Jeff wraps up what could have been the very last episode of Community with this courtroom speech. Thankfully, he (and the rest of the Greendale Seven) lived to fight another day.
"Cooperative Escapism in Familial Relations"
Winger has got serious daddy issues, and in last year's Thanksgiving episode, he got to lay him all at his father's feet. Extra tears for that fake texting confession.
"Basic Rocket Science"
"We earned the right to pick on Greendale by going there every day. Our school may be a toilet but it's our toilet. Nobody craps in it but us."
That's it. That's the series.
Somebody over at E! decided to devote a couple of hours of the network's holiday schedule to a shiny new documentary on Britney Spears and her preparations for her "Piece of Me" Vegas residency. Somebody is getting fired.
The two-hour special, I Am Britney Jean, only pulled 706,000 viewers in Sunday primetime on Dec. 22. Its heaviest competition was Sunday Night Football — not exactly the same audience. It's more likely that the viewers E! expected to tune in clicked over to a rerun of NBC's Sound of Music, Live! instead. All the while, Britney's new album, Britney Jean, was dropping like a rock out of the Billboard Top 20. It only sold 107,000 copies in its first week. Dark days for the money-printing machine that was Britney's heavily influenced image.
It's too late for a veil-lifting documentary. The veil has already been lifted and we know this ain't what's underneath. Whatever joy America gets from watching Housewives dump glasses of wine on each other or Miley Cyrus grinding on a teddy bear does not extend to seeing a young woman go through the motions that her publicists and managers dictate while looking like she's taking Walter Mitty-style trips in her head just to escape. Give us a hot mess who's in on the joke and we'll gleefully eat it up. But we don't want to watch Britney get ready to install herself as complementary high-roller benefit when she looks like she'd rather be anywhere else.
No one buys that she has the kind of artistic power that Britney's shown wielding in this special. And while she's polite, warm, and actually quite open, those qualities make E!'s tacky production all the more wince-inducing. Maybe viewers checked out after the first few minutes of the documentary, when the producers chose to leave in a joke that Britney makes comparing her on/off-stage personas to bipolar disorder, one which some believe she actually suffers from.
Getting into New Year's Rockin' Eve is one thing. Getting on camera is another.
In the season six episode, "The One With The Routine," Ross and Monica fight for their spot on a platform at Dick Clark's televised dance party. In typical Geller fashion, they revert right back to their dorky, competitive childhood. You've got to hand it to them for entering "the routine" into an actual contest, though. Our choreographed dances were usually performed in our bedrooms to audiences of stuffed animals.
Important news for those of you who are still using the "you know what's cool?" joke and bemoaning The King's Speech besting The Social Network at the 2011 Oscars. Lionsgate recently acquired the rights to Nick Bilton's recounting of Facebook's cooler cousin's rocky founding, Hatching Twitter: A True Story of Money, Power, and Betrayal and is looking to develop it into a series. White boy drama, ahoy!
And we just happen to have some white boys in mind. This project may be in a fledgling state, but if it's anything like its subject, it'll be out of the gate at full-speed before anyone's had the chance to really think about that "@reply" feature. Allow us to do our part by suggesting a few actors to play these coding frenemies.
Nicholas Hoult as Jack Dorsey
Warm Bodies star Hoult could sink his teeth into the part of demoted CEO Jack Dorsey, plagued by a speech impediment but not by low self-esteem. The book characterizes him as a narcissist who, though he had little techno know-how, falsely painted himself as the real brains behind the operation.
Michael Angarano as Evan Williams
Williams was the quiet, midwestern boy of the group whose anxiety and inaction cost the company millions of dollars. Sweet-faced Angarano could have us pitying Evan and feeling the same frustration his partners and investors did.
Josh Hutcherston as Biz Stone
Biz is the most rational of Twitter's creators, who stays above at least some of the fray. And who does America trust more than the guy who plays Peeta Mellark? Josh is our pick for this role.
Josh Dallas as Noah Glass
We'd like to see handsome Josh Dallas go a little rogue as the unstable Glass, the first of the four to be pushed out.
Jim Rash as Dick Costolo
Community's Dean can trade his Scarlett O'Hara costume for a sensible polo shirt and play Twitter's current CEO, whose maturity and experienced is credited with saving the company.
Showtime recently released a 30-second teaser for upcoming "psycho-sexual thriller" Penny Dreadful and consider us intrigued.
The series, set in Victorian London, fictionalizes the creation of famous literary characters like Count Dracula and Dorian Gray. Josh Hartnett, Billie Piper, and former Broadway Spider-Man Reeve Carney are among the cast. But it's Bond girl Eva Green who takes the spotlight in this first look. She looks to be calling on a higher power, but it's the wrong one that picks up. Yep, definitely the wrong one. Check out the teaser and let us know in the comments if it's made your must-watch list.
Freshman comedy Brooklyn Nine-Nine has been pulling some big names for guest roles. Fred Armisen (who's returning to the show later this season) dropped in for a hilarious bit as a potential witness in the pilot; rapper Kid Cudi put Jake through his paces as a stony suspect; and Adam Sandler is already booked for the post-Super Bowl show. The cast has plenty of famous friends to call on, and the nature of the show means that there are endless opportunities to drop them into the action as victims, perps, or even rival cops. Time to start calling in some favors. Here are a few suggestions.
The rest of The Lonely Island
We're surprised we haven't seen Andy Samberg's bandmates on the show yet. Jorma Taccone and Akiva Schaffer could play low-rent, wannabe white collar criminals who Peralta gleefully takes down.
How about a multi-episode arc for Kristen Wiig, where she plays a newly transfered detective who torments Santiago by being the Captain's pet she's dying to be?
The entire cast of The State
Seperate or together, we'd like to see every castmate of Joe Lo Truglio's from the classic MTV sketch show on Brooklyn Nine-Nine at some point. Michael Ian Black as a douchey defense attorney; Kerri Kenny as the mother of a juvenile deliquent who thinks her kid has never done anything wrong; Ken Marino as Louie, a sexual predator who just wants to dip his balls in everything ... it's impossible to go wrong.
This is a no-brainer. Andre Braugher has to call in Homicide: Life on the Street pal Belzer to play, who else? Detective John Munch. If we get our wish, Brooklyn Nine-Nine would be, appropriately, the ninth series to feature that character.