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eBay Offers a Night with Vincent Gallo

Internet auction site eBay is offering one of its strangest celebrity sales ever–a night with actor/director Vincent Gallo for $50,000.

The posting, which will remain on the site for another six days, is purported to have been made by Gallo himself, and includes a picture of him wearing a sailor’s uniform while cupping his manhood through his trousers, alongside detailed instructions for potential clients.

The seller, claiming to be the 43-year-old Brown Bunny filmmaker, writes, “Have you ever watched a movie and fallen in love with one of the actors? When I was very young I was madly in love with Tuesday Weld and Charlotte Rampling. I wished and wished and wished everyday that I could meet all these girls. So believe me, I know and understand what it’s like to wish and dream about spending time with a movie star. Doing things that couples do. Couples in love.

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“I, Vincent Gallo, star of such classics as Buffalo 66 and Brown Bunny have decided to make myself available to all women. For the modest fee of $50,000 plus expenses, I can fulfill the wish, dream, or fantasy of any naturally born female. Heavy set, older, red heads and even black chicks can have me if they can pay the bill. No real female will be refused.

“However, I highly frown upon any male having even the slightest momentary thought or wish that they could ever become my client. However, female couples of the lesbian persuasion can enjoy a Vincent Gallo evening together for $100,000. $200,000 buys the lesbos a weekend.”

‘Gallo’ adds, “Scanning for STD’s is required as is bathing and grooming prior to our encounter. Detailed photos of potential clients also required prior.”

He also warns clients about the size of Gallo‘s manhood–which he showed off in a sex scene with real-life ex-girlfriend Chloe Sevigny in Brown Bunny, writing, “Potential clients are advised to screen the controversial scene from Brown Bunny to be sure for themselves that they can fully accommodate all of me. Clients who have doubt may want to test themselves with an unusually thick and large prosthetic prior to meeting me.”

Last year, Gallo caused controversy when he allegedly offered to sell his sperm to women for $1 million. No representative for the actor has been available for comment.

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