Sure, Bar Refaeli is good at topping Maxim magazine’s 2012 Hot 100 list and attractively rolling around in sheets, but, for us, it’s not always about the the looks. (Okay, so, most of the time it is. But we dare you to tell us if there’s another reason you’ve already decided to buy pre-sale tickets for Magic Mike.) Or about the ladies — what about the hottest, most talented men in the world? Between a Baldwin revealing a secret musical talent and a handsome actor upstaging co-stars in a stripping contest, these are the gifted men who have us totally buggin’. (Remember the ’90s, guys?!) Our ranking standards? We judge based on which man puts the biggest smile on our faces. From top to bottom, here we go:
1. Joe Manganiello: Yes, the handsome True Blood star may make us growl as shirtless werewolf hunk Alcide, but we’re downright panting imagining his strapping stripper role in Magic Mike. Oh, wait, we said we’d judge based on talent? Let me rephrase: We’re downright panting imagining the Scream Award-winning actor’s strapping stripper role in Magic Mike.
2. Henry Cavill: It’s a bird, it’s a plane… wait, no, it’s Henry Cavill, reviving Superman’s place on the big screen! Being able to graduate from sucking up to King Henry VIII to big-budget film — Cavill is a promising rising star, he is, he is.
3. Mark Zuckerberg: The newly wed billionaire may have lost a few friends after Facebook’s stock plummeted yesterday, but we’d still respond to his pokes.
4. Prince Harry: Our sincere apologies to Wate. Or Killiam? Or why am I trying to make a nickname for the couple? But after seeing prince debut his music talents playing the tambourine in a music video, we’d certainly bow to this royal rock star.
5. The Boys of One Direction (Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson): They may have placed third on the seventh season of The X Factor UK, but now they are tearing up the radio… and making us wonder if we should report ourselves to our neighbors.
6. Phillip Phillips: A name so nice, we have to say it twice! The American Idol Top 2 finisher makes us wish “We’ve Got Tonight”… and many, many more nights.
7. Ben Feldman: We all love Jon Hamm, but Mad Men has a new Don Draper. But, unlike the series’ serious, dour leading man, Feldman spirited Michael Ginsberg is as faithful as he is creative. We’d like him to hit us in the face with a Sno Ball. Euphemisms!
8. Adam Scott: The ideal candidate for romance is the kind of guy who “super-did” Model UN in high school, makes a mean calzone (when he’s not working on his claymaysh), and has his very own Bat-suit. Adam Scott’s Parks and Rec character Ben Wyatt meets all these requirements. Plus, he’s handsome and friends with Jon Hamm. We have an in!
9. Michael Phelps: This year is a big one for Phelps: He confirmed to Anderson Cooper on 60 Minutes that he will be retiring after the London Olympics are done. And we’d be there to share many a five-dollar foot-longs with the athlete. C’mon, minds out of the gutter, people.
10. Kanye West: Imma let you finish, but the musician would no doubt interrupt us if he didn’t score a place on a best list. So, for that reason, we’ll happily admit to wanting to play third wheel with him and Kim Kardashian, even though we all know he just wants fish sticks.