Below is Kim Kardashian‘s new song, called “Shake.” Those scratches you hear in the beginning are part of the track. It’s not time to upgrade your McAfee virus software, so don’t worry.
The only way I can think to describe it is to say this: it feels like if I were running nicely on a treadmill, just doing my own thing, and somebody sneaked up in front of me and alternated between lowering the speed of the conveyor belt and revving it up again so I’d jerk forwards and backwards and forward and backwards with each step I took, instead of running consistently forward at a steady pace. The problem with this song is the same as the problem I’d have with that workout — there’s nothing to grab on to! There’s no stability! It’s all over the place! There’s no way to tell where it’s going or where it’s just been. Also! “Shake shake” makes me think of when I’d lift my dog out of the bathtub and I’d tell him to “shake shake” most of the water off his body before I toweled him off. She was probably going for something else, but still.
UPDATE: Kim Kardashian posted a tweet to twitter and said it’s not her on the track. Yeah, now she tells us.
