Oprah Winfrey took some time out from charging $1 million to advertisers who wish to promote their products during her last show on CBS to tell you, us, we, everyone, the people of the United States of America that she is not going to take the recently canceled One Life to Live and All My Children off of ABC’s hands and give them both homes on her network, OWN. She’s not doing that. Sorry! Not happening. Stop flooding her message boards with requests to do so. Why can’t she do us all this one favor and give us back the two things that give us something to look at while we’re hand-washing our husbands’ underpants? Because soap operas are old news, and the slots on OWN are reserved for new things, like turning orange peels into bird feeders and living meaningful lives. You know, NEW AND REJUVENATING THINGS.
