Unhappy Hour: Roger Ebert Passed Away, and 10 Other Reasons to Drink

 Roger EbertEach week, Hollywood gives us something to whine about, and the week of April 1 was no different. We could make a drinking game out of this week, but that would be too dangerous. Instead, we’ll stick to the usual formula: varying levels of alcoholic respite depending on how bothersome the week’s issues are. Is your biggest complaint this week a flimsy one? How about a light cocktail to take the edge off? Got a real bone to pick with a celeb or entertainment entity this week? Go ahead, grab a drink that’ll put hair on your chest. Here are the week’s entertainment stories that are forcing us to seek a bubbly or boozy refuge. And maybe an idea or two about how you should wash them down.

Slam Back a Frosty Beer:

Farewell Roger Ebert: On Thursday, famed film critic Roger Ebert passed away from cancer. We will all miss his defining voice on pop culture and will never forget all that he’s done. 

The Kardashian sisters are suing their ex-stepmother: Apparently, she’s been selling photos to the tabloids of the Kardashians… because heaven forbid that Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney end up in the media!

Bradley Cooper got a perm: We never thought something could make Cooper look bad… until now. 

Ryan Cabrera tattooed Ryan Gosling’s face on his calf: And the image was taken from a “How to Draw” site. 

Mix a Gin and Tonic… But Make It a Double:

Huge missed opportunity: In all the Late Night show hullabaloo, why wasn’t a woman considered to take over for Jay Leno?

Disney shut down LucasArts: The videogame company overseen by Lucasfilm that’s produced nearly three decades worth of Star Wars and Indiana Jones games, not to mention the Monkey Island saga, will be no more.

Courtney Stodden posed nude: And got groped by a zombie. You read that right. 

Buckwild star died at 21: Shain Gandee was found dead in his car on Monday along with two of his relatives. MTV halted production on Season 2 of the show. 

Screw it… Just Take a Shot:

We live in a society where anti-rape underwear is a thing: This shouldn’t have to be an invention that exists. It really shouldn’t.

The Late Night war got nasty: David Letterman talked sh*t about Leno, NBC, and the whole ordeal. Can we just be done with all the drama?

Michael Jackson’s doctor Conrad Murray serenades Anderson Cooper from jail: We really don’t know what to make of this one. Take two shots.

Follow Sydney on Twitter: @SydneyBucksbaum

[Photo Credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images]

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