Summertime is right around the corner and that means the blockbusters are on their way! Get the lowdown on what to watch out for this summer season.
Iron Man
When: May 2
Who: Robert Downey Jr., Terrence Howard, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jeff Bridges; directed by Jon Favreau
What: After a brush with death, billionaire weapons manufacturer Tony Stark (Downey Jr.) transforms into the title evil-fighting superhero, complete with a decked-out high-tech suit of armor.
Brian Says: Director Favreau (Elf), despite not being the clear-cut fanboy favorite, is ready for this gig, thanks to a decade and a half spent in front of and behind the camera working on every kind of movie and budget. But you know who’s waited even longer and is even more primed? Downey Jr. His Hollywood trials and tribulations don’t change the facts–really just one fact: He’s one of the most talented actors out there. And seeing as Tony Stark isn’t as stiff as Bruce Wayne or Peter Parker, the wry Downey Jr. is a great fit. Be not afraid, Comic-Con Nation. [PAGEBREAK]
Speed Racer
When: May 9
Who: Emile Hirsch, Christina Ricci, Matthew Fox, John Goodman, Susan Sarandon; directed by Larry and Andy Wachowski
What: Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch) is a natural behind the wheel, fearless and aggressive–and loyal to his family’s race-car making business. But when Speed’s family livelihood is threatened, he is forced beat the competitors at their own game. With the support of his loyal girlfriend, Trixie (Christina Ricci), Speed teams with his one-time rival–the mysterious Racer X (Matthew Fox)–to win the race that had taken his brother’s life: the death-defying, cross-country rally known as The Crucible.
Kit Says: As a self-proclaimed fan of the original Japanime series, the thought of a live-action Speed Racer thrills me–especially in the hands of the Wachowski brothers. The preview may look like it’s all flash and no substance, but so long as this Speed keeps to the original’s theme and doesn’t take itself too seriously, they’re in like flint.[PAGEBREAK]
What Happens in Vegas
When: May 9
Who: Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifah; directed by Tom Vaughan
What: The classic Vegas one-night mistake: Two out-of-towners (Diaz and Kutcher) wake up as a married couple, much to their surprise, and seek immediate divorce. But faster than you can say “annulment,” they hit the slot-machine jackpot, with each claiming entitlement to the winnings. Um, awkward…
Brian Says: If you like Kutcher, Diaz or romantic comedies, What Happens in Vegas is simply disappointment-proof. These two aren’t just (ridiculously) pretty faces; they can actually act. With Sex and the City not coming out until the end of the month, a girl’s gotta survive on something, and Patrick Dempsey’s Made of Honor will be last week’s news by now. [PAGEBREAK]
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
When: May 16
Who: The four kids–albeit a little older, Ben Barnes, Peter Dinklage; directed by Andrew Adamson
What: One year later, Lucy (Georgie Henley), Edmund (Skandar Keynes), Susan (Anna Popplewell) and Peter (William Moseley)–the former Kings and Queens of Narnia–find themselves back in that faraway wondrous realm, only to discover that more than 1,300 years have passed in Narnian time–and it’s in chaos again, of course. This time the kids have to help Narnia’s rightful heir to the throne, the young Prince Caspian (Ben Barnes), make his stand.
Kit Says: It makes sense to keep the franchise going after the huge success of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, but one wonders if the film will have the same impact without Tilda Swinton’s terrifying White Witch. Still, there’s hope the same magical spectacle of a Narnia tale will prevail in Prince Caspian. [PAGEBREAK]
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
When: May 22
Who: Harrison Ford, Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett, Karen Allen; directed by Steven Spielberg
What: It’s been almost 20 years since The Last Crusade, and Crystal Skull’s story is craftily set to match that same gap: 19 years. Neat! But aside from that, basically zilch is known.
Brian Says: If the trailer is any indication, this franchise and its fedora-donning hero will suffer no drop-off despite the almost two decades that have passed. But it’s not like we needed the trailer for reassurance: Spielberg, George Lucas and a trillion dollars are behind this fourquel, not to mention the surefooted stable of returning actors (Ford, Allen) and newcomers (LaBeouf, Blanchett). No one will even care about Ford’s age (65) after the first scene, and great fun is guaranteed to be had by all who (buy tickets well in advance to) see it. [PAGEBREAK]
Sex and the City
When: May 30
Who: Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis; directed by Michael Patrick King
What: Carrie Bradshaw (Parker), successful author and everyone’s favorite fashion icon-next-door, and her friends Samantha (Cattrall), Charlotte (Davis) and Miranda (Nixon) continues to narrate her own story about sex, love and the fashion-obsessed single woman in New York City. Except maybe she isn’t going to be single for long?
Kit Says: Are you kidding me? For every guy out there salivating for the fourth Indiana Jones, there’s a woman waiting on pins and needles for this big-screen adaptation of Sex and the City. Honestly, when the HBO show ended, we really weren’t ready to let go.[PAGEBREAK]
Kung Fu Panda
When: June 6
Who: Voices of Jack Black, Dustin Hoffman, Ian McShane; directed by John Stevenson and Mark Osborne
What: An inept panda named Po (Black) trains to become a kung-fu master in order to save his jungle cohabitants from a villainous gang of snow leopards.
Brian Says: OK, so it’s not Pixar (Wall-E comes out three weeks later), but non-Pixar animated movies have succeeded before, you know! Besides, kids love Black (as evidenced by the two times he’s served as host of the Kids’ Choice Awards), and, affectionately put, he just makes so much sense playing an animated bear, panda or otherwise. [PAGEBREAK]
You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
When: June 6
Who: Adam Sandler, Emmanuelle Chriqui; directed by Dennis Dugan
What: An Israeli commando named Zohan (Sandler) fakes his own death so he can move to New York City and pursue his dream of becoming a hairdresser.
Brian Says: Each year, Sandler’s movies are a reliable source of cheap laughs for us and major profits for producers. But throw the omnipresent Judd Apatow into the mix–he wrote the movie with Sandler and longtime SNL/Late Night scribe Robert Smigel (aka Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog)–and you’ve got the recipe for, well, better comedy and box office returns. We all win, hopefully. [PAGEBREAK]
The Happening
When: June 13
Who: Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo, Spencer Breslin; directed by M. Night Shyamalan
What: A family is on the run from a natural crisis that presents a large-scale threat to humanity–and that’s only the tip of the iceberg.
Kit Says: OK, so I’m about the only who liked Lady in the Water, Shyamalan’s last cinematic effort. I can’t help but marvel at the way the man’s mind works, whether it be about aliens, ghosts–or weird bedtime stories like Lady. But having M. Night return to his roots with a creepy tale about the end of the world, that’s just music to my ears.[PAGEBREAK]
Incredible Hulk
When: June 13
Who: Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth, William Hurt; directed by Louis Leterrier
What: Scientist Bruce Banner (Norton), as he was known before gamma radiation transformed into the rage-filled green monster he currently is, searches for a cure for his “condition” while on the run from pretty much everyone. Kinda tough to hide, though, when you look like Shrek on steroids!
Brian Says: There’s no reason to beat around the bush with Incredible Hulk: It has a lot of ‘trouble’ flags already. First and foremost, rumors have been rampant that Norton, a somewhat weird casting choice to begin with, had a major problem with the movie’s final cut (which he has since vehemently denied). Also, the trailer is undeniably cringe-inducing, namely the special effects that are supposed to dazzle us. BUT, this Hulk can only be an improvement over Ang Lee’s 2003 incarnation, and it’s said to stay more faithful to the original Marvel Comics story. So we wait…with much anticipation, nonetheless. [PAGEBREAK]
Get Smart
When: June 20
Who: Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, Dwayne Johnson, Alan Arkin; directed by Peter Segal
What: The intrepid, ever-eager analyst Maxwell Smart (Carell) is on a mission to thwart the latest plot for world domination by the evil crime syndicate known as KAOS–with his partner, the lovely-but-lethal veteran Agent 99 (Hathaway), by his side. And a shoe phone that never works.
Kit Says: It’s tough to fill those phone shoes of Don Adams, who immortalized the Maxwell Smart character in the hilarious ‘60s TV show–but if anyone can do it, it’s Steve Carell. It’s all in the deadpan reaction. [PAGEBREAK]
The Love Guru
When: June 20
Who: Mike Myers, Jessica Alba, Romany Malco, Meagan Good; directed by Marco Schnabel
What: Pitka (Myers), an American left at the gates of an ashram in India as a child and raised by gurus, moves back to the U.S. and attempts to settle a rift between a hockey player and his wife.
Kit Says: Anything goes when you’ve got Myers playing multiple parts, Jessica Alba in cute sun dresses–and “Mini-Me” Vince Troyer getting kick around once again. Good times.[PAGEBREAK]
Wanted
When: June 27
Who: Angelina Jolie, James McAvoy, Morgan Freeman; directed by Timur Bekmambetov
What: Twenty-five-year-old Wes (McAvoy) is in the midst of his mundane, anonymous life when he meets Fox (Jolie), who invites him to join her underground team of elite assassins. He eventually RSVPs ‘Yes.’
Brian Says: In one word? Jolie. Her important dramatic turns (i.e., A Mighty Heart) and philanthropy are all well and good, but we all fell in lust, er, love with Jolie because of her badass sass, and it’s back! She looks to be in Tomb Raider shape and mode, which should equal a lot of money for this comic-book adaptation. Russian director Bekmambetov has never made an American feature, but that’s definitely not cause for trepidation in this case (see/drool over the trailer). [PAGEBREAK]
WALL-E
When: June 27
Who: Voices of Fred Willard, Sigourney Weaver, Jeff Garlin, Kathy Najimy; directed by Andrew Stanton
What: What if mankind had to leave Earth, and somebody forgot to turn the last robot off? Wall-E, spends every day doing what he was made for. But soon, he will discover what he was truly meant for, as he adventures across the galaxy chasing his dream.
Kit Says: This is the latest from those animated geniuses at Pixar. Need I say more? Plus, we haven’t fallen in love with a robot this cute since No. 5 in Short Circuit [PAGEBREAK]
Hancock
When: July 2
Who: Will Smith, Jason Bateman, Charlize Theron; directed by Peter Berg
What: A tortured superhero crash-lands in Sheepshead Bay, Brooklyn, and tries to revitalize himself by romancing an alluring housewife, while also inadvertently causing chaos in the city as he tries to save people.
Kit Says: A Will Smith comedy-actioner about an alcoholic superhero directed by the guy who did Friday Night Lights set for release on the fourth of July weekend…again, do I need to say any more?[PAGEBREAK]
Hellboy II
When: July 11
Who: Ron Perlman, Selma Blair, David Hyde Pierce, Jeffrey Tambor, Doug Jones; directed by Guillermo Del Toro
What: The mythical world starts a rebellion against humanity in order to rule the Earth, so Hellboy (Perlman) and his team must save the world from the rebellious creatures. Again.
Kit Says: No one thought the first Hellboy was going to be as cool as it was–but thanks to Del Toro’s expert direction and Perlman’s sardonic performance, it clicked. Having the team back together for a second installment only inspires the same confidence.[PAGEBREAK]
The Dark Knight
When: July 18
Who: Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Michael Caine, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Morgan Freeman; directed by Christopher Nolan
What: The caped crusader (Bale) is back in black along with his allies from 2005’s Batman Begins (Caine, Freeman, et al.). Of course, not everyone’s on his side, namely the Joker (Ledger) and Two-Face (Eckhart).
Brian Says: The Dark Knight became even darker when Ledger died in January, and for what it’s worth, nobody will be able to watch his much buzzed-about Joker performance without that fact pervading their opinion. Ledger’s Joker, based on what we’ve all seen and heard, appears to be positively frightening and much deeper than Jack Nicholson’s revered 1989 version. Elsewhere, expect the usual mind-blowing FX and action sequences, but also expect this installment to be the darkest–and quite possibly the best–yet. [PAGEBREAK]
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
When: Aug. 1
Who: Brendan Fraser, Jet Li, Maria Bello, Michelle Yeoh, Luke Ford, John Hannah; directed by Rob Cohen
What: In the Far East, trouble-seeking father-and-son duo Rick (Fraser) and Alex O”Connell (Ford) unearth the mummy of the first Emperor of Qin (Li) who was cursed by a wizard centuries ago.
Kit Says: Upon hearing about a third Mummy, I was obviously dubious–until I heard Jet Li was going to play the mummy in some weird ancient Chinese twist. That’s should be a different spin on things, don’t you think? And although Rachel Weisz declined to reprise her role as Evelyn O’Connell (Bello replaces her), seeing some of the familiar faces, such as Fraser and Hannah, will be fun as well.[PAGEBREAK]
The Pineapple Express
When: Aug. 8
Who: James Franco, Seth Rogen, Bill Hader; directed by David Gordon Green
What: A pot dealer named Saul (Franco) and his businessman customer Dale (Rogen) witness a murder that forces them to go on the lam.
Brian Says: For stoners, 8/8 is as much cause for celebration as 4/20: A movie about pot is set to become a hit. That’s because Pineapple, written by the Superbad duo of Rogen and Evan Goldberg, is a weed movie, but one with summer-blockbuster staples like explosions and serious action sequences. After a misfire with March’s Drillbit Taylor, Rogen is back in his element with very R-rated fare produced by Judd Apatow. And they’re both reuniting with Freaks and Geeks cohort Franco, who will (pun intended) light up the screen with his “who knew?” performance as a burnout. [PAGEBREAK]
Tropic Thunder
When: Aug. 15
Who: Ben Stiller, Jack Black, Robert Downey Jr., Nick Nolte, Steve Coogan, Matthew McConaughey, Tom Cruise; directed by Ben Stiller
What: All hell breaks loose when a group of self-serious actors (Stiller, Black, Downey Jr., et al.) filming a big-budget war movie end up becoming the commandos they are playing.
Brian Says: Is it a war movie? Action movie? Straightaway comedy? Satire? Parody? Try all of the above, with other tonal components thrown in for good measure. But with Stiller directing, expect comedy to prevail above all else. While Thunder boasts the funniest of all this summer’s comedy premises and an absurdly talented cast, the highlight will come in the form of Cruise’s constantly talked-about cameo–as a much heavier studio head with a potty mouth (a shot at Harvey Weinstein, perhaps?). Such an industry-roasting, buzzy, non-dramatic performance might be just what the career doctor ordered for Cruise. It’s the icing on Thunder‘s cake. [PAGEBREAK]
Most Excited For:
Kit:
1. Iron Man
2. Hancock
3. Wanted
4. Sex and the City
5. Pineapple Express
Brian:
1. The Dark Knight
2. Pineapple Express
3. Tropic Thunder
4. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
5. Hancock
Biggest Box Office Blockbusters:
Brian:
1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
2. Iron Man
3. Hancock
4. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
5. The Dark Knight
Kit:
1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
2. The Dark Knight
3. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
4. Hancock
5. Journey to the Center of the Earth
Potential Box Office Letdowns:
Brian:
1. Speed Racer
2. The Love Guru
3. Incredible Hulk
4. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
5. Babylon a.d.
Kit:
1. Speed Racer
2. Sex and the City
3. Incredible Hulk
4. Step Brothers
5. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Oscar Prospecting (If Only Summer Movies Had a Shot):
Best Picture: The Dark Knight
Best Actor: Ben Kingsley, The Wackness
Best Actress: Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex and the City
Best Supporting Actor: Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
Best Supporting Actress: Penelope Cruz, Vicky Cristina Barcelona
Best Director: Christopher Nolan, The Dark Knight
The Apatow List (Movies Affiliated with Judd Apatow and/or His Collaborators):
The Foot Fist Way
Get Smart
Kung Fu Panda
You Don’t Mess with the Zohan
Step Brothers
Hamlet 2
The House Bunny
Tropic Thunder
Pineapple Express
The Rocker
This Summer’s Napoleon Dynamite:
Files We’d Like to Keep Open:
Dumbest Title:
