Ben Affleck: I Am Not Batman

And, no, Matt Damon won’t play Robin, either.

Oscar winner (and Damon cohort) Ben Affleck has taken to his official Web site to personally shoot down a rumor that he’s to play Batman (Batyoungadult?) in a revival of the big-screen franchise.

“…[T]his story is absurd,” Affleck wrote in a message-board missive posted Tuesday. “There is no Batman script, no movie being planned, they have not called me or my agent. …”

The actor, next seen as an evil (well, insufferable) yuppie-type in the Sundance-bound drama “Boiler Room” went on to deny this week’s latest Batrumor: that Affleck was pushing for ex-girlfriend Gwyneth Paltrow to play Catwoman to his Caped Crusader.

“… Gwyneth is much more the Electra type,” Affleck wrote, slipping in a reference to yet another comic-book title (“The Daredevil”).

The Ben-as-Batman story first appeared on Cinescape Online; the Ben-Wants-Gwyneth tale, in the irrepressible New York Post. If Affleck was puzzled by the Gotham-sized rumors, he wasn’t alone.

“What the hell are they thinking?” one Netizen, aghast as the prospect of a Benman, wrote on the alt.gossip.celebrities newsgroup.

To the casual observer, Affleck certainly seemed an, um, unusual choice for the role of a tragedy-hardened crime fighter. At 27, he’s two years younger than the most recent big-screen Robin the Boy Wonder, Chris O’Donnell (late of 1997’s “Batman & Robin,” with George Clooney.

“I really have no idea where they get this stuff,” the equally astounded Affleck wrote. “It is as if someone sits in a room and literally invents it.”

You know, like how comic books are written.