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Brand gives candid details of Moss romance

The British funnyman, who is due to marry pop star Katy Perry at the weekend (23-24Oct10), claims he briefly dated the catwalk beauty back in 2006 after meeting her at a party.

He has previously admitted he was “infatuated” with Moss and was devastated when he “f**ked up” the relationship.

Brand has now opened up about the affair in his latest book, Booky Wook 2: This Time It’s Personal, revealing his feelings during their first smooch.

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He writes, “My heart pounding, of course, but also my liver and lungs and feet. Paul Simon thinks my vital organs may be a lost African tribe and considers recording a follow-up to Graceland in my colon.

“We kiss, and yes, on one level I’m enjoying the kiss, but my mind is screaming, screeching, body-popping, lambada-ing. Playground fads are revisited: yo-yos, hula hoops, (children’s toy) Pogs. ‘Kiss properly, stop thinking about Pogs, you idiot.’ Ludicrously I say to her, ‘Do you want to come back to mine… Kate Moss?’ “

He later adds, “(Seeing her in my bed was) like looking into the garden and seeing Vegas Elvis mowing the lawn. Her hair fans over the pillow like a peacock’s tail. Kate Moss is indeed in the bed, and for a minute I feel like I’ve murdered her. ‘Oh my God, what have I done?’ I get up and back away like a butler on the first day with the Queen, not daring to turn from her for a moment.”

And Brand reveals the fling came to an abrupt end after he made an off-hand remark about Moss to a reporter.

He adds, “What no one realised, not Kate nor the red-top tabloid press, was that far from viewing her as a conquest, I was absolutely smitten. When I clumsily ballsed it up by flatly telling journalists… ‘I was just larking around,’ she wisely withdrew and I had enough sense to stop calling her.”

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