EXTRA: Cybill Uses Her Tongue

Cybill Shepherd, actress, model, spokeswoman, is giving new meaning to the term “tell-all.” In her new Jerry Springer-style confessional, “Cybill Disobedience: How I Survived Beauty Pageants, Elvis, Sex, Bruce Willis, Lies, Marriage, Motherhood, Hollywood and the Irrepressible Urge to Say What I Think” (in stores today), the outspoken actress/model lives up (or down) to her rep.

To save inquiring readers the time of sifting through the tome’s 294 pages, we’ve poured over the manuscript ourselves and highlighted the more lubricious moments below for quick reference and easy access. (Indexed by their corresponding page numbers, but of course):

Pgs. 43-44: Scene of deflowering with a Mick Jagger lookalike mop top named Mike at the nubile age of 15. Writes Shepherd of the experience: “I felt oddly detached from my first time, as if it were more a rite of initiation to be crossed off a list than a sexual epiphany.” Scale of raciness: Low. Neither her age nor her subsequent disappointment in her first sexual experience constitutes any kind of revelatory surprise in this day.

Pgs. 47-48: A short (and essentially platonic) fling with upstanding Ivy Leaguer Joseph Graham Davis. Nicknamed Gray, the-then Columbia law student would go on to become the sitting governor of California, known as Gray Davis. Scale of raciness: High. Even though they never “did it,” bedroom tales that involve a political figure still make for some jaw-dropping stuff. We put a call into Davis’ office for comment, but they never got back to us. An oversight, we’re sure.

Pgs. 49-50: A tepid account of two other trysts with college-age maletypes who were not and have never been famous or powerful. Scale of raciness: Low. Be warned, dear readers, this is the last sex-related entry until the fabled Bogdanovich affair some 30 pages later.

Pgs. 85-102: The aforementioned illicit affair with her “The Last Picture Show” mentor Peter Bogdanovich that began on, and outlasted, the film’s shoot. Writes Shepherd of their first meeting: “The immediate attraction was so strong, I was flummoxed.” Scale of raciness: Low. Despite the expository nature of the biography, this liaison is remembered with an exactitude and completeness that’s strangely devoid of sexual details.

Pgs. 108-109: A rendezvous in 1972 with a pill-popping Elvis in his Graceland mansion where instead of “Love Me Tender,” cunnilingus (yowza!) and an act of fellatio (hello!) were performed. Scale of raciness: High. Besides the innate humor in this whole scene, the incident also holds a mirror up to the somewhat sexist, peanut-butter-sandwich-chunking, drugged-up eccentric that the rock icon had become shortly before his death.

Pgs. 185-186: In the early 1980s, Shepherd came out of a post-divorce slump and had her first meaningful fling with “The Last Picture Show” co-writer and longtime friend Larry McMurtry. “Our friendship never faltered because we became sexual or because we stopped,” writes Shepherd. Scale of raciness: Low. Frankly, not dramatic or titillating enough. And, anyway, does anyone even know (or care) who Larry McMurtry is? Pgs. 194-197: A menage-a-trois with two stuntmen subsequently known as “The Cybill Sandwich.” This encounter is memorialized with an entire chapter — dubbed, yes, “The Cybill Sandwich” — and featuring excerpts such as: “‘The Cybill Sandwich’ turned out to be a positive sexual experience.” Scale of raciness: Middling. Time’s a changing — a threesome just doesn’t get the kind of head-shaking gasps that it used to.

Bruce Willis

Pgs. 203-204: The unconsummated sexual tension between her and co-star Bruce Willis on the set of “Moonlighting.” Shepherd expounds, “[Bruce and I] never did finish what we started in private, but anytime we had a kissing scene, he stuck a big camel tongue halfway down my throat.” Scale of raciness: Low. It would be infinitely more interesting if the Bruce Willis she was flirting with was the post-“Die Hard,” Demi Moore-married mega-movie star.

Pgs. 214-215: A five-minute quickie with yet another one of her co-stars, this time Don Johnson, from the television movie “The Long Hot Summer.” Scale of raciness: Middling. Yawn. The novelty is definitely wearing thin. We’re just thankful that this is basically Shepherd‘s last conquest of the book. Besides, is it still news when somebody sleeps with Don Johnson?