Hollywood’s obsession with remakes, reboots, reinventions and various other “re’s” is well-established, and while I may be powerless to slow this tiresome trend, I would like to humbly propose a new approach: Instead of taking classic films and ruining them for a new generation, why not instead select a handful of mediocre efforts from the recent past and fix them? We’ll call them “Do-Overs” (or, if you prefer, “Mulligans”). Here are a few movies begging for do-overs:
Not to upset the hordes of snarling David Fincher acolytes, but the Benjamin Button director’s installment of the fabled sci-fi/horror franchise left much to be desired. In fact, it’s easily the weakest of the four Alien flicks to date.
Why It Deserves a Do-Over: Fincher made his feature film debut with Alien3, and studio execs weren’t accustomed to his tantrums, walkouts and other assorted diva antics. Now that we know what to expect, why not give the guy another chance? Who knows, maybe he might actually make a profit this time.
The Matrix Reloaded and Revolutions
The Matrix trilogy could have been better than curly fries, but the Wachowski Siblings (nee the Wachowski Brothers) had to follow up the splendid first film with a pair of bloated, self-indulgent and occasionally bizarre sequels.
Why They Deserve Do-Overs: Because the franchise – and its fans – deserve better than a mish-mash of philosophical discourses, techno music and S&M imagery. Good sci-fi is hard to find these days, especially after the demise of Battlestar Galactica.
Every M. Night Shyamalan Movie Since The Sixth Sense
After The Sixth Sense earned him the “genius” tag, it was all downhill for Shyamalan, whose subsequent films grew increasingly dreadful, culminating in a whopping 18 percent Rotten Tomatoes rating for last year’s The Happening.
Why They Deserve Do-Overs: Every one of them started out full of promise (except for Lady in the Water, which pretty much blew from the beginning), but they all shared one fatal flaw that spelled their doom: They were directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Let’s see what a competent director might be able to do with the material.
By now every cinephile knows the story: When Winona Ryder abruptly dropped out of the film’s production at the last minute, director Francis Ford Coppola let his daughter Sofia pinch-hit for her. Combine that with copious studio meddling and Robert Duvall’s conspicuous absence, and the seeds of disappointment were sown.
Why It Deserves a Do-Over: The concept of Michael Corleone taking the family business global and attempting to arrange a bailout for a nearly-bankrupt Vatican is genuinely compelling – especially nowadays as lawsuits stemming from the Church’s abuse scandal continue to drain its resources.
After a string of blockbusters in the early ‘90s, Kevin Costner set fire to his career with a sprawling, three-part tribute to himself: Wyatt Earp, Waterworld and The Postman, which together spanned a brain-numbing 504 minutes and lost approximately $188 million domestically.
Why They Deserve Do-Overs: Buried within Waterworld and The Postman are the makings of solid tentpole flicks – they’re just obscured by Costner’s massive ego. With the apocalypse clearly imminent (how else can John Mayer’s success be explained?), we could use an entertaining look at what life might look like afterward.
After The Empire Strikes Back drew accolades for its director, Irvin Kershner, Star Wars overlord George Lucas snatched back the reigns for RotJ. And lo, the Ewoks were born.
Why It Deserves a Do-Over: Lucas has to atone for those dreadful prequels somehow, and since remaking Episodes I-III is unrealistic, fixing Jedi is the only acceptable alternative. This time around, he would do well to ditch the Ewoks, ease up on the slapstick and let Lando perish during the climax as originally planned. Slave Leia, however, can stay.
Fans of author Tom Wolfe’s acclaimed novel were appalled by Scarface director Brian De Palma’s disastrous adaptation, which lacked the subtlety and wit of the source material. That and it starred Melanie Griffith.
Why It Deserves a Do-Over: Bonfire’s story, about a hot-shot New York bond trader’s fall from grace, is as relevant as ever. If Oliver Stone can get a Wall Street sequel greenlit, why can’t Wolfe’s material have a second chance on the big screen?
What films do you think are prime candidates for do-overs? Let us know in the comments section.
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