Tom Cruise just doesn’t get it.
OK, so he’s gaga for Katie Holmes.
And he wants us to be happy for him and the soon-to-be Mrs. Cruise No. 3.
If not, well we can “f- – – off,” or so the War of the Worlds E.T. exterminator not-so-sweetly told Entertainment Weekly.
Sounds like someone’s a trifle touchy when it comes to his very public love life.
And that’s the problem. Sure, we’re ecstatic that he’s been bitten by the love bug. But he’s rubbing it in our faces. He’s smug, overbearing, and out of control.
If Cruise‘s not bouncing on Oprah‘s sofa like a giggling, hyperactive 2-year-old, he’s zooming across Europe, proposing to his new sweetheart at the Eiffel Tower (See Cruise and Holmes Get Engaged). Since April, when he and Holmes officially stepped out as an item, he’s done everything he could to hold our attention.
What next? Can we expect Cruise to sell the pay-per-view rights to his wedding night?
Cruise emerged the villain when his marriage to Nicole Kidman disintegrated. Perhaps he feels showing off his adoration for Holmes would go a long way to repairing his somewhat tarnished image.
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Unfortunately for them, every appearance Hollywood’s newest power couple makes together feels so orchestrated. That, coupled with getting engaged after just two months of dating, naturally invites suspicion. Wags have it that this is a good old manufactured-for-the-media love affair. Hey, tickets need to be sold for War of the Worlds and Holmes‘ Batman Begins.
If the conspiracy theorists are right, then Cruise and Holmes have gone too far to quickly and quietly part ways after their films have hit theaters. And if Cruise is being less than truthful with his longtime fans, then he will feel their wrath for years to come. Is that a risk Cruise–now 42 and possibly at the peak of his popularity–is willing to take?
But let’s be kind and take Cruise and Holmes at their word, as we did several weeks ago with Mr. & Mrs. Smith avowed non-lovers Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie ( See The Bottom Line: The More Denials, the Better for Brad and Angelina’s Mr. & Mrs. Smith).
Still, maybe we were initially curious about the Top Gun declaring his undying love for the Dawson Creek object of affection. Now we’re just sick of “TomKat”–boy, that’s even more nauseating than “Brangelina”–and that makes it hard to feel sympathetic for Cruise when he’s the target of water-squirting TV pranksters (See Four Men Arrested for Squirting Tom Cruise).
His occasionally bizarre behavior and off-the-wall comments–really, did he need to share with the world his disappointment with Brooke Shields (See Tom Cruise Slams Brooke Shields’ Drug Use) using antidepressants?–has resulted in more unfavorable publicity than he’s ever endured. And he’s no longer shielded by powerful PR guru Pat Kingsley, whom he reportedly dumped when they failed to see eye-to-eye about his desire to openly push Scientology. Now that task falls on the shoulders of Cruise‘s sister, Lee Anne Mapother De Vette, who clearly lacks Kingsley’s clout.
As for Holmes, she’s now a household name, just as Kidman and Penelope Cruz became when they started smooching Cruise. But Holmes is acting like a schoolgirl with a hot and heavy crush on the most famous actor in the world. And, to no one’s surprise, she’s converting to Cruise‘s chosen religion of Scientology. No wonder there’s a Web site out to “liberate” Holmes from the one she loves.
And, per PageSix.com, Holmes is no longer welcome in Gotham City after being dumped from the Batman franchise (See Holmes Looks to Be a No-Show in Batman Sequel). Don’t take that as a sign she’s on the Hollywood blacklist. Not one Batman babe got cozy with the Caped Crusader twice. Just ask Cruise‘s ex, Kidman, Batman Forever‘s love interest.
Not that “TomKat” hurt Batman Begins: the prequel’s earned $84.9 million in its first seven days, the best yet for a Dark Knight tale.
This love affair won’t hurt War of the Worlds. Yes, it’s overshadowed all talk of this remake of H.G. Well’s literary classic. But with E.T.‘s Steven Spielberg at the helm, War of the Worlds should easily achieve blockbuster status.
Nor will it hurt Mission: Impossible III. Yes, Paramount’s right to be concerned that the very expensive M:I3 probably won’t prove as popular as Cruise‘s previous Bond-like exploits (See Cruise Puts Mission: Impossible III in Danger). But that’s more likely due to being the third in an aging franchise, not Cruise‘s love life.
It would hurt, though, if Cruise and Holmes made the mistake of working together. Few ran to see Cruise and Kidman in Far and Away and Eyes Wide Shut. We’ve already seen Cruise and Holmes fall in love before our eyes. So why fork over $10 to see art imitate real life?
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We’ll go see Batman Begins and War of the Worlds. And we’ll sit through Ethan Hunt’s next mission. But enough already. Tom, Katie, go get married, have a wonderful life together. We’re thrilled for you. But Tom, please calm down, get a grip, and get over yourself. And if you crave a little attention, go bother Katie, not us. | |
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