4 Questions We Need Answered About the New ‘RoboCop’

Robocop, Joel Kinnaman and Gary OldmanColumbia Pictures

With the reboot of RoboCop creeping up on us like the immobile cyborg he is, we have some questions. Here’s what’s on our minds for the new film.

Is RoboCop Still Slow As Hell?

Accurate shooting and the awe of seeing the tin cop for the first time will only scare outlaws for so long. In the original RoboCop, bad guys could easily sprint away if they were out of shooting range. That must stop in the new one. RoboCop needs to run, jump and get physical with the opposition.

Can RoboCop Break The Law?

Because of the way he was wired, Robocop couldn’t even speed in the original. Criminals don’t always play by the rules, why should Robocop? Going a little rogue is what makes cops in movies interesting. Get your hands dirty, Robocop.

Will He Still Eat That Bizarre Paste?

Yeah, RoboCop was kind of brain dead in the first movie because of his assault at the beginning. So a high-powered half man-half machine was powered by baby food. His nutrients seemed appropriate for a toddler. Give the cop his dignity! At least let him charge like an iPhone or something. Baby food? Please, that’s not what a hero should be eating. RoboCop should chow down on a steak.

Does Robocop Actually Develop Personality?

Part of the appeal of RoboCop, other than his shiny metal and perfect aim, was his naivete. He behaved like Arnold Schwarzenegger in almost every movie he’s starred in: dull, kind of clueless, but efficient when the action went down. It would be nice if RoboCop could make jokes, show some emotion and develop a true hatred of evildoers. That would be a cyborg worth backing up on the force.