DreamWorks via Everett Collection
If you could hop in a time machine, travel back to 2004, and tell the producers of the original Anchorman that their film would become the most omnipresent cinematic property of 2013, just how long would it take them to stop laughing before calling the insane asylum? Improbable as it may be, Anchorman has somehow rode a steady wave of Internet memes and oft-repeated quotes from a modest box-office hit into a legitimate comedy mega-franchise, with companies from Jockey to Chrysler using the moustachioed, scotch-swilling dufus, Ron Burgundy to sell everything from colored briefs to Dodge Durangos. The graduation from everyday film to film franchise isnt complete without some possible spin-off news.
Director Adam McKay has said in an interview with Collider that he is planning a new G-rated Anchorman installment that follows Ron Burgundy’s son, Walter Burgundy, and the family dog Baxter. The speculative project would detail the young Burgundy’s adventures while his father Ron is away. This spin-off is a completely zany idea that fits right into the mad cap lapse in logic that the Anchorman films thrive on. So what G-rated adventures could Walter Burgundy and Baxter be up to? Why don’t we take some uneducated guesses.
Walter Burgundy commits a hostile takeover of his grade school’s news program.
Ron Burgundy’s son isn’t nearly as goofy and harmless as his dad. While he does take after his dad’s love of ’70s suits and his extreme fondness for facial hair (his moustache is mighty impressive for a grade-schooler), he has far more in common with another famous Walter from Albuquerque. He still possesses his father’s intense love for local televised journalism, but he would rather see San Diego Elementary quivering under his boot than move up the ranks in the journalism world the slow way. Welcome your new overlord, San Diego!
Walter and Baxter fight the news programs from other schools.
Just like the legendary scene in the first Anchorman, we imagine that Walter and Baxter will get into a street fight with the news programs from other elementary schools, but this fight will probably have fewer tridents and grenades, and more wedgies and purple-nurples. Cameos from Wes Mantooth Jr. and a tiny Tim Robbins, perhaps?
Walter and Baxter look for love
The grade school news game can get pretty lonely. Tired of drowning his sorrows in a couple fingers of apple juice each night, Walter rallies Baxter to go out and find love. The two hit the streets of San Diego to impress the pretty fourth graders. Good thing Ron Burgundy taught his son a thing or two about the most seductive instrument of them all: the jazz flute.
