Romance-Free Movies for Singles on Valentine’s Day

Identity ThiefUniversal via Everett Collection

Valentine’s Day can be grating when you’re single. Restaurants jack up prices, people fail to pull off the color red, and everyone is fixated on love. It’s time to reclaim February 14 and celebrate Single’s Awareness Day. The fact that it bears the acronym S.A.D. is purely coincidental. If you’re looking for a day free from romance, Valentine, and reminders of your partner-less existence, why not get cozy with these movies? They have been selected for their distinct level of awesome and lack of amour.

The Avengers
It may be more than a year before The Avengers 2: Age of Ultron hits theaters. Why not re-watch this epic superhero film, or catch it for the first time? There aren’t any cheesy romantic subplots. There are a couple fleeting moments of people in relationship,s but the action, snark, and dead Chitauri make up for it. It helps that the cast is chock full of lookers, including Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, who also deliver in butt-kicking action. 

Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
This is the movie you might never have an occasion to watch but you won’t want to miss. Jeremy Renner and Gemma Arterton play a fresh take on the storybook brother and sister. Slightly anachronistic and chock full of witch wounding weaponry, this movie is a future cult movie that blends horror, action, and the right level of cheese. The other bright side: there’s no love story. Just some heartwarming sibling companionship.  

This Is the End
If you’ve been told you wouldn’t be considered as a mate even if you were the last person on Earth, this is the movie for you. This apocalyptic comedy finds James Franco, Seth Rogen, Jonah Hill, and their friends trying to navigate the post-Rapture Hell on Earth. This comedy features bizarre cameos by almost everyone in Hollywood (mostly really just Judd Apatow’s Rolodex, though), and offers nothing close to romance except the special relationship between a man and his co-dependent friends.

Identity Thief
Laugh the pain away with this hilarious buddy comedy. Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy have bizarre chemistry and best of all it’s in no way relationship-based. This was one of the most popular movies of 2013. If you haven’t seen it you may want to look into real estate that isn’t under a rock. Why eat an entire chocolate cake while crying when you can binge on the laughter of McCarthy, the soon-to-be-crowned Queen of Comedy? 

This cult classic deserves an annual watching, so why not make it Single’s Awareness Day? This film adaptation of the popular board game came ages before Hollywood decided to make a movie out of everything (lest we forget Battleship). This comedy is full of murder, mystery, and Tim Curry. It’s highly quotable and deviously hilarious.

The Cabin in the Woods
A horror movie on V-Day might be a little cliché. This revisionist take on the genre is hard to pass up. It’s also a little hard to classify since so much changes. Why not opt for something to engage your adrenaline and your mind. Plus, it’s from the genius mind of Joss Whedon. What more could you ask for?

If sex and violence are you bag, enjoy this dark thriller about a bunch of forensic students that get addicted to performing the perfect murder. It stars the sexy Milo Ventimiglia, Alyssa Milano, and Lauren Lee Smith. It’s super angsty and emo, so feel free to let out your inner-Goth kid and enjoy this twisted psychological drama.

Kill Bill – Vol. 1 & 2
If you’re feeling super resentful, annoyed, or just plain pissed off, why not watch both of these classic Quentin Tarantino films? Uma Thurman gets tons of vengeance so let her dispose of your ex…in your head at least. Plus, there’s nothing more relaxing than the dulcet tones of a Hatori Hanzo setting a score. The entire movie is set on killing the worst possible ex so why not get it out of your system.