Valentine Review

The story starts at a junior high dance where a nerdy kid Jeremy asks each one of the popular girls to dance. All of them in one way or another rebuff and ridicule Jeremy mercilessly. Jumping ahead 13 years it’s nearing Valentine’s Day and the girls still close friends are now all grown up. There’s sexy Paige (Denise Richards) smart Shelley (Katherine Heigl) fun Lily (Jessica Cauffiel) sweet Kate (Marley Shelton) and ugly duckling-turned-swan Dorothy (Jessica Capshaw). Tragically the girls and the men in their lives are being bumped off one by one in rather gruesome ways by a killer in a angel mask with most of the murders taking place at Dorothy’s Valentine’s Day party. Is it Jeremy who’s come back for revenge or someone else?

Well there certainly isn’t a lack of beautiful people in this movie. And that’s what a slasher film is all about. Not much is required of the acting besides looking scared and asking “Who’s there?” But darn it they all look good doing it. As far as any notable standouts Denise Richard’s sexy bad girl actually has the audience guessing whether or not she’s the killer which is a credit to her performance. Other than that the rest of the cast just goes along for the ride in an extremely predictable script.

Really what can one say about another slasher film that is incredibly formulaic? There are no real twists or surprises. One must plod through the whole movie hoping to find a touch of originality or even creativity but is pretty much served the same tired horror schtick as in most other horror flicks. The only saving grace is the more well-known cast members especially David Boreanaz (“Angel”) as Kate’s boyfriend Richards (“The World Is Not Enough” “Wild Things”) and Shelton (in the new release “Sugar and Spice”). And unfortunately that really isn’t saying a whole lot.