What Your Favorite Zombie Says About You

Credit: Paramount Pictures

In World War Z, the zombie faire du jour starring Brad Pitt, the living dead are not slow, bumbling, lurching corpses, but rather speedy, swarming creatures who never seem to tire in their quest to bring down the human race. Exciting, huh?

World War Z proves that, while there may have been approximately 8,942 zombie apocalypse franchises released in the past few years, they are not merely carbon copies of one another. Each undead species is distinct, with its own flavor. And your zombie preference — because, let’s face it, you definitely have one — could just say a lot about the kind of person you are. 

Take World War Z, for instance. If the sprinting, climbing zombies are most your speed, chances are you played lacrosse in high school (and maybe even college) and have a carabiner on your keychain. We’re also willing to bet you go hiking for fun on the weekends, fancy yourself “outdoorsy” (even though you’ve lived in Manhattan for the past six years), and consider Christopher Nolan’s Batman series the greatest movies ever made — they’ve got everything: action, suspense, intrigue! Nail on the head, right?

But what if you prefer a different kind of zombie… Well, we’ve got analysis for those, too. 

Credit: Gene Page/AMC 

Just like the scout you were as a kid, now you never leave the house unprepared. Water bottle? Check. Flashlight? Check. Pocketknife? Check. Condoms? Yep, got those, too. A natural-born leader, you’re ready to jump in the face of danger, putting others’ well-being ahead of your own. Unfortunately, sometimes you’re unable to see past the rim of your (metaphorical, of course) sheriff’s hat, leaving you vulnerable to slouchy, moany zombies. Oh yeah, and you’re a huge fan of comic books and yelling, “That’s not the way it happened in the source material!”

Credit: Summit Entertainment

Someone has “What Makes You Beautiful” on repeat! Your copy of The Hunger Games is disintegrating and you know that RPatz broke up with KStew so that he can marry you (he just might not know it yet). And sometimes, even when your mom forgets that you became a vegetarian last week for like, the twelfth time — and is yelling at you to come downstairs for dinner even though she made beef lasagna and, besides, you already told her that you can’t budge until Keith (who is totally dreamy, but definitely not quite RPatz level) calls you about your Bio project and you’re so mad you want to bite her nose off — you still know that, deep down, you really love her. 


You have memorized AFI’s 100 Years… 100 Movies (10th Anniversary Edition) even though you remain fervent in your belief that films — oh yeah, and you say “film” instead of “movie” — from the 21st century are grossly underrepresented.  

Credit: Focus Features 

People may treat you like a monster just because you don’t wear the same clothes as everyone else… or because you forgot to put on deodorant… but they never take the time to get to know you. If they did, they would come to see that you are so much more than hand-me-down sweaters and a penchant for chasing after the brooding loner boys. You’re helpful (though a bit shy), and really just want to to make the world a better place. 

Credit: HBO 

You’re the Queen Bee. Not only are you in-the-know and hip to the latest trends, but everyone is always talking about your latest moves — usually on Monday mornings following an eventful weekend. Not to mention the fact that you have a swarm of mindless… well, zombies, following you everywhere you go, eager to do your every bidding. You terrify your inferiors, even if they are hypnotized by your piercing eyes. 

World War Z is now playing in theaters nationwide. 

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