46 thoughts I had while watching The Bachelor finale as a non-fan

THE BACHELOR – “2510” – As the landmark 25th season comes to a close, the two final women will meet Matt’s family and enjoy one last date before he hands out the final rose. After all this, Matt’s mind seems made up, but when a shocking last-minute development threatens to alter the course of his entire journey, will he give in to his fears or let his heart lead the way? Find out on the season finale of “The Bachelor,” MONDAY, MARCH 15 (8:00-10:00 p.m. EDT), on ABC. (ABC/Craig Sjodin) MATT JAMES
(ABC/Craig Sjodin) MATT JAMES

The Bachelor makes me cringe. I tried watching The Bachelor on Hulu several years ago and gave up 10 minutes in.

As a writer, I often write and research stories that aren’t of interest to me personally, but writing about The Bachelor feels like absolute torture. Last night, I begrudgingly turned on The Bachelor season finale because I was assigned to write about the show.

Don’t get me wrong––I’m no stranger to reality TV love shows. I could wax poetically about my favorite reality TV shows. I have spent hours binging one season after another of Married At First Sight, 90 Day Fiancé, and Below Deck. I follow my favorite reality TV stars on Instagram, I read up on reality TV gossip on Reddit, you get the picture.

There’s just something about The Bachelor that I can’t get with!! 

With that in mind, here is a completely unfiltered look at every thought and feeling I experienced while watching The Bachelor finale plus The Bachelor “After the Final Rose” live last night.

FYI: I purposely avoided any news about this season. I literally knew nothing about this season before watching. Please enjoy this raw and honest glimpse into my mind!

Read The Opposite POV from Shannon: 46 thoughts I had while watching The Bachelor finale as a superfan

Thoughts while watching The Bachelor finale from someone who has never seen it

8:00 pm: Not even 30 seconds in and there has been a lot of kissing in the snow.

8:02 pm: Everyone appears to be crying.

8:03 pm: He’s tying his shoes in front of a fire looking pensive. Michelle is sipping coffee looking at a winter scene like she’s in a music video. Rachael is journaling in a robe looking pensive.

8:03 pm EST: He’s walking in the snow again. I saw the shoes he tied up. They aren’t snowshoes.

8:06 pm: Matt sees Michelle, she says it’s snowing. I have no idea where they are. Colorado?

8:07 pm: Matt’s mom seems genuinely emotional to meet Michelle. Matt’s brother John is looking for a vibe. I respect that.

8:13 pm: All of this is wholesome and leaves me wondering who writes the music.

8:14 pm: “Spontaneous” snowball fight is cute I guess.

8:19 pm: We’re back from the commercial break. It appears to be a new day, the same fancy house in the middle of nowhere, no more snow. 

8:24 pm: Matt is talking about Rachael to his mom and said “we have fun together.” His mom’s response was hmm. Mine too even though I’m only 25 minutes in.

8:27 pm: They’re in the woods now and they’re kissing. This just feels so staged?

8:28 pm: Cut to commercial. My roommate, who has also never watched The Bachelor, just said “how is cable TV still around if this is what it is?”

8:32 pm: My roommate just said, “so far there’s been more commercials than content.” She’s not wrong.

8:32 pm: Alright Matt is on a snowy balcony. I guess he had to think out there before he went back in to talk to his mom and brother.

8:33 pm: What is that neon drink in the wine glass? 

8:36 pm: Matt’s brother John says he supports him and also says to not jump into anything too soon. My roommate sarcastically says, “I’m literally on TV on contract to make a decision.” Like he has to make a decision right? He’s contractually obligated?

8:37 pm: Matt is walking down a long driveway. No clue where he’s headed. Ah, six minutes later and we’re onto another commercial break so I’ll have to wait to find out. I’m at the edge of my seat…

8:42 pm: Matt is walking around this luxury house looking pensive again. I googled the name of the estate and now know they are in Pennsylvania.

8:45 pm: So we’re like 45 minutes in and all that has happened are a few conversations in a luxury home. Tbh I’m bored. I would love to switch to Marriage or Mortage on Netflix but I committed to this assignment and I will see it through to the end.

8:46 pm: Matt appears to be doubtful about getting engaged which I think is the entire point of him being The Bachelor? Or is this just a seed of doubt being planted to justify a two-hour finale?

8:53 pm: Back from another commercial break and Matt’s dramatically walking through the snow (again) in a new outfit.

8:55 pm: They’re going to repel down the side of this building to a heart-shaped area with a couch?

8:56 pm: They both said leap of faith in their interviews. Definitely a producer-planted line.

9:04 pm: I have come to the conclusion that Matt has a lot of jackets.

9:07 pm: Michelle gifted Matt matching Mr. and Mrs. James jerseys? 

9:09 pm: The music got serious. Matt is continuing to be vague and sharing his doubts with Michelle. 

9:11 pm: Michelle is asking for clarity on “what this actually is” and it reminds me of conversations I’ve had with men throughout my 20s. This is so painful to watch. 

Still 9:11 pm: He just said “I don’t think I can get there with you” and I’m confused?? Isn’t there another hour left in this finale?

9:18 pm: Matt appears to be crying and pacing outside of the luxury resort.

9:22 pm: Having trouble following all of these emotional conversations. 

9:23 pm: My roommate tells me she’s heading to bed. Her last words: “Have a good night with these sad boys and sad girls. Everyone on this show is so sad. There’s been more crying on this show than anything, I thought this show was about love.”

9:29 pm: This problematic host just showed up at Rachael’s door prior to her final date. Looks like Matt is ditching Rachael last minute and can’t even tell her himself? What is this, fourth grade on the playground?

9:33 pm: There is a man in a suit with a briefcase and I’m not sure what he’s doing here.

9:35 pm: He appears to be a jeweler. Cue more pensive balcony shots, this time with a ring box.

9:40 pm: As I sit through yet another commercial break, I’m beginning to question why I committed to this assignment.

9:42 pm: What do these women do between all of these very brief scenes? Are they allowed to watch TV? Can they use their phones?

9:43 pm: Did Matt actually write this note or did a producer?

9:47 pm: I guess “meet me at the lake” means “meet me at this overly staged pergola set-up in formalwear.”

9:59 pm: So let me get this straight. This two-hour finale led to him saying he’s not ready to propose but wants to be in a relationship with this girl? 

10:00 pm: Where’s the lake btw? Where did this horse-drawn carriage come from?

10:01 pm: Alright now we’re onto this “After the Final Rose” post-finale episode with Emmanuel Acho who acknowledges the racist photos of Rachel that apparently emerged (remember I deliberately avoided The Bachelor news before recording all of my thoughts).

10:14 pm: Michelle seems great and I respect her calling Matt out for shutting down and not having a conversation with her when she asked. He comes off as super emotionally immature.

10:18 pm: Another commercial break. It’s past my bedtime.

10:23 pm: Pretty incredible to hear Matt talk about what it meant to be the first Black Bachelor amid Black Lives Matter protests and some of the internal and external pressures he felt. 

10:27 pm: It’s official: Rachael and Matt are no longer together. Definitely not surprised based on everything that has been mentioned about her.

10:38 pm: Emmanuel Acho is not playing nice with Rachael and I’m here for it even though I’m still not here for this franchise.

10:50 pm: I’m tired but I’m all for Matt’s honesty to Rachael about how her not fully understanding his anger was perceived to him as her not fully understanding his Blackness. He is 100% not emotionally responsible for her tears or her sadness around this.

Well, that’s all I’ve got folks. Can’t say I’m going to watch this show ever again but no judgment if it’s your thing.

Don’t forget to read the exact opposite POV from Shannon: 46 thoughts I had while watching The Bachelor finale as a superfan

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