TV lovers are lucky these days. We’ve got this handy dandy invention called the DVR that makes it possible to be in two places at once. It’s like a television time machine. But, as with any technology, when the honeymoon period is over we start to see the blemishes: mainly the fact that the hallowed DVR cannot record more than two programs at a time. How did that happen? Doesn’t Mr. TiVo know that Dexter, The Good Wife, and Revenge all air at the exact same time? How are we supposed to decide?
And this fall, it seems that the decision process isn’t going to get any easier. There’s simply too much good stuff. But there are a few nights that provide truly confounding DVR dilemmas. Let us all begin the process now: We’ll put the series’ cards out on the table. Then it’s up to you to tell us how you’ll cut your losses.
Dilemma #1: Sunday Nights, 10 PM
666 Park Avenue (ABC)
Who’s in it? John Locke from Lost, Vanessa Williams, and the cute brother from Brothers and Sisters.
What’s it about? A haunted, historic New York apartment building. Possibly run by the devil.
Do I need to see it every week, in order? Yep.
If I miss it, can I watch it for free online? Yessir.
The Mentalist (CBS)
Who’s in it? Simon Baker and some other people known for their appearances on The Mentalist.
What’s it about? Having the chance to spend an hour with Simon Baker once a week.
Do I need to see it every week, in order? Only if you’ve got a Simon Baker deficiency.
If I miss it, can I watch it for free online? Yes. Simon Baker is also available in an online streaming capacity.
Homeland (Showtime)
Who’s in it? Inigo Montoya, er, Mandy Patinkin, Damien Lewis, and Claire Danes.
What’s it about? Terrorism and conspiracy theories. And Claire Danes’ exquisite mental breakdowns.
Do I need to see it every week, in order? How is this even a question? Let me make this very clear: DUH.
If I miss it, can I watch it for free online? Not legally.
Treme (HBO)
Who’s in it? Folks like Melissa Leo and Wendell Pierce, but what you really need to know is that David Simon, who createdThe Wire, is pulling the strings.
What’s it about? A New Orleans neighborhood of the same name which was heavily affected by Hurricane Katrina.
Do I need to see it every week, in order? Yes. Just how much CSI have you guys been watching?
If I miss it, can I watch it for free online? With an HBOgo login, yes.
Sunday Night Football (NBC)
Who’s in it? American heroes (whose personal lives and indiscretions we’ll ignore for the moment because it’s time to watch football, dammit).
What’s it about? ‘Merica.
Do I need to see it every week, in order? Yes, if you care about rankings and how a team makes it to the playoffs. Or if you have a Fantasy Football team. No, if you’re just a casual Football viewer.
If I miss it, can I watch it for free online? No, but you can certainly read all about it.
You’ve got the info, so who’s getting cut from your Sunday 10 PM lineup?
<a href=”http://polldaddy.com/poll/6510875/”>Sunday at 10 PM: Which Show Will You Cut?</a>
Dilemma #2: Thursday 10 PM
Scandal (ABC)
Who’s in it? Kerry Washington and Desmond from Lost, Brutha.
What’s about? The scandalous world of politics. Get it?
Do I need to see it every week, in order? It wouldn’t be a bad idea.
If I miss it, can I watch it for free online? Yes.
Elementary (CBS)
Who’s in it? Lucy Liu and a handsome Englishman you probably recognize from Dexter.
What’s it about? It’s a modern-day Sherlock Holmes. Except Watson is a lady.
Do I need to watch it every week, in order? Not necessarily, but it couldn’t hurt.
If I miss it, can I watch it for free online? Why, it’s elementary, my dear reader. (I mean “Yes.”)
Rock Center (NBC)
Who’s in it? Brian “Effing” Williams
What’s it about? News. You know, those things that happen outside of the television.
Do I need to see it every week, in order? No, but you might feel smarter if you do.
If I miss it, can I watch it for free online? Select segments, yes.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (FX)
Who’s in it? The best people on television: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Kaitlin Olson, and Rob McElhenney. Also, the wildly disgusting and entertaining Danny DeVito.
What’s it about? Um. Well, there’s a bar. And there’s this group of friends… okay, we’re not exactly sure what this show is “about.”
Do I need to see it every week, in order? No. But did I really need to choreograph a dance to Charlie’s “Dayman” song? No. Did I? Absolutely.
If I miss it, can I watch it for free online? Not legally.
Jersey Shore (MTV)
Who’s in it? Snooki, with child. And a bunch of other drunken yahoos.
What’s it about? It’s a scared straight video series preaching abstinence and sobriety by showing you what life can be like without those things. Oh, it’s not? Okay. It’s a bunch of reality nonsense.
Do I need to see it every week, in order? Only if you really care about what ridiculous thing Sammi Sweetheart said last week while drunk on Ciroc at Karma. Whatever it is, it’s got Ronnie really angry. No, bro. I’ve never seen him like this. Really.
If I miss it, can I watch it for free online? Yes.
Alright, you have the details. Which series are you sending back to its mama’s house?
<a href=”http://polldaddy.com/poll/6510871/”>Thursday at 10 PM: Which Show Will You Cut?</a>
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