S1:E4 The Football Wives are continuing with their very important daily activities; this time with a fashion show. But as in any show about ladies with too much money, at the last minute, Chanita decides that Mercedes’ clothing line is too sexy. I don’t think there will be a single episode without Chanita yelling at someone; this time she’s determined that the fashion show is hers and that Mercedes is just the seamstress. I can feel the catfight brewing, but Mercedes storms out, slamming the door.
Even with all the drama, the show is still going down. Chanita asked Pilar to host the fashion show, but since she generally doesn’t show up to things she’s invited to they’re all worried she won’t show. Chanita hasn’t heard from Pilar, so she approaches Dawn last minute and begs her to be the backup MC. Of course this starts issues because Dawn wanted to do it all along, but Chanita asked Pilar because she’s got the fame factor. Women are bitchy and backstabbing, no surprise there. Dawn agrees to do it because she feels her friendship is more important than this squabble (what? No way). But of course, Pilar actually shows up. These things just happen way too perfectly. There is no way the producers are not coaxing these situations into being.
Pilar is proud of herself for showing up on time (except that she couldn’t manage to work her phone and that she actually was very late – how delusional is this woman?). Chanita takes back Dawn’s MC position, and we all knew that the maturity wouldn’t last. Dawn threatens to leave, but they convince her to stay and share the microphone with Pilar. The lovely little ladies make their way down the runway in some ridiculously hideous tutus and Willow Smith hairdos to make Chanita proud despite all the behind the scenes drama.
But of course, the fashion show was just the beginning of the drama. Chanita’s friend says he noticed some of the signs of pregnancy – munchies, attitude (wait, there are levels of Chanita’s attitude), and nausea. She takes a pregnancy test and stalks around the house talking about what a problem a pregnancy would be. After way too much suspense over a little pee-test, Chanita falls on floor in what could be exasperation or excitement before finally revealing that she’s not pregnant. Woohoo. Is it weird that I’m completely apathetic?
Later, the ladies all gather for a forced dinner where Mercedes reveals that she’s moving back to L.A. Thank God. I don’t know how much more of that high pitched, obnoxious voice I could take (and keep in mind she’s only had speaking scenes in one episode all season; she’s just that annoying). Chanita says that Pilar pushed her to push Mercedes out of the show, and then she’s swooping back in to pick her up. Of course, Dawn has to light the fire and ask if Mercedes is leaving because of Chanita. Amanda defends Chanita, Pilar defends Mercedes and condemns Chanita for being bitchy (but isn’t that the point of this whole show, Queen Bitch?). They all head home and Dawn asks if they can ever go out to dinner without people acting “ignant.” No Dawn, apparently not (and that includes you).
Amanda makes an obligatory appearance, hosting a party to help launch her jewelry line with the help of her stylist. And here comes another fashion show. For real? Twice in one week? The football wives are acting as models, but once again Chanita is sick, complaining of a super headache. Is there ever a moment where this woman doesn’t have a problem? I don’t doubt that she was sick, but seriously, she always needs to be the center of everything. She makes Amanda call 911. Of course she does. Dawn starts crying, everyone freaks out and Amanda’s spotlight is immediately stolen. I’m not saying she isn’t seriously ill, I’m just saying there seems to be nothing that will stop her from being the center of everything.
