‘Hawaii Five-0’ Recap: Ho’ohuli Na’au

Now THIS was a great episode of Hawaii Five-0. I don’t want to take credit, but it really does seem like the writers found my checklist and tailored this episode to my specific tastes. And I like feeling special.

How awesome was it? We start off with a bikini photo shoot that ends in an explosion? If that isn’t a GREAT opening, then I don’t know what is. And by the way, who the fuck is Rick Springfield? How can I be him? I should ask my friend Jesse and his girl. They might know. So the photographer had some gambling debt. Unless it has to do with bikini gambling, why would they move away from that? This was the one thing I did not understand.

‘I’m gonna go talk to these models.’ – Danno

Anyway, on to the check list. Let’s be honest here. We’ve gotten through this entire season and continuously one box in our checklist has gone unchecked for too long. I believe you know which one I am talking about…

Grace Park in a bikini! Finally! All is well with the episode! I quit watching after this. It honestly didn’t matter. Oh look, a cute girl learning how to swim! Aww, she has cystic fibrosis? Way to bring the fun down, scary looking surfing dude. And oh yeah, Kono used to be a pro surfer. Forgot that little detail. But did this episode end well in the Grace Park in a bikini category? You bet your ass it did. Grace Park in a bikini for the win! This is a great episode.

Oh snap! That’s not the end for her! Kono gets a lab dude fuck buddy! Can I transition into that as another checklist point? Watch in awe: while flirting heavily at the gas station (don’t ask) she whips out her wicked phone! But does it end there? Oh no, we get a product placement WITHIN a product placement! Score! Of course, there is nothing sexier than pumping gas to flirt over.

What about a Kamekona scene? Oh yes. It did. Turns out he is quite business savvy in the shaved ice business world. I would honestly watch this guy for an entire feature film. Someone make it happen.

‘What part of sit down did you not understand?’ – Danno

Convoluted plot? H50 totally Scooby Doo’d (Scooby Doo Doo’d?) us! It turned out that the PA from the photoshoot happened to be the photog’s bastard daughter. But all her anger toward her deserting father was misplaced. When he knocked up the super model, he had a change of heart (which proves my theory that super model vagina’s work miracles) and went looking for her. But she killed him before he found her. Whoops! H50 does a really good job of making the bad guy’s feel REALLY bad about what they did. It’s almost delicious.

And now, my favorite part – the stunt of the week! I thought I had it when McGarrett tackled the dude into the picnic table. Hell yeah! But did H50 stop there? Danno upped it and THREW A GRILL IN A DUDE’S FACE! HELL YEAH! That was so much OWNAGE.

The only real downside? Chin’s uncle is coming back to bite him in the ass again. He wants to turn himself in but Chin won’t let him because of honor or something. To be honest I kept blacking out while thinking about Grace Park in a bikini. Something happened and Chin needs to come up with the money by the next day. He said he didn’t spend the money so he puts his house up with the gambling dude from earlier. I guess it’ll play over into the final episodes (it’s about time they did something else besides focus on McGarrett’s dead parents again).

So yeah, fantastic episode. I’m sure the rest of the episodes will have to do with the larger story arcs so this might be our last traditional, one-off episode for awhile. And damn, it was a good way to go out.