BBC Two
If you haven’t watched BBC’s The Fall yet, you need to. The first season’s five episode run is streaming on Netflix and the second season (consisting of six electrifying episodes) will begin streaming on January 16.
The Fall is a thriller about a serial killer and the detective hunting him down, with a lot more going for it than it sounds like it does. It’s gripping, witty, nail-bitingly suspenseful, and insanely dark. If you’re not sold, we have to mention that its two stars are quite possibly the sexiest humans to ever exist: Gillian Anderson of The X-Files fame and Jamie Dornan, a.k.a. Christian Grey of the upcoming Fifty Shades of Grey. Watching the show, one could be led to believe that it’s actually just a show where those two stars are competing for the title of Sexiest Human Alive, and fans continue to struggle to choose between the two.
Round One: Looks
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Winner: Tied. Hear us out, Dornan fans! Though Jamie may scare off Irish gangsters while wearing nothing but a towel and release his anger through shirtless pull-ups, Gillian’s wardrobe malfunctions, already iconic silk blouses, and seductively varnished nails keep her in contention. The viewers are the real winners here.
Round Two: Sexual Prowess
Winner: Gillian. Sorry, Jamie, but we’re not really into tying innocent women up, strangling them to death, and then pleasuring ourselves to the photos we took. We’re much more into Gillian’s unapologetic approach to satisfying her needs with whomever suits her fancy. Bonus sex appeal points for her ability to defend her sex life from a feminist point of view using grammatical syntax. How sexy is that? (Answer: very)
Round Three: Intelligence
Winner: Jamie. We really wanted to give Gillian credit here for how well spoken she is, but, come on, Jamie’s character reads Dante Alighieri in Italian (maybe). He casually quotes T.S. Eliot to make sense of his killing sprees. He’s like a 21st Century Hannibal Lecter, with massive amounts of sex appeal instead of that whole cannibalism thing.
Round Four: Emotional Stability
Winner: Gillian. Sure, she has nightmares about the men of her one night stands and her dream journal shows she has a number of daddy issues, but, and this is crucial, she doesn’t murder people. So, she has that going for her.
Both of these people are extremely sexy in there own ways, but there can only be one Sexiest Human Alive…
