‘Jersey Shore’ Recap: Mike Keeps Meddling

S4:E10 Last week’s episode of Jersey Shore ended with Snooki telling her boyfriend Jionni she wanted a break from him and then she went straight into Vinny’s bed, where she proceeded to kiss and affectionately touch him. Before things got too serious, however, Vinny was kind enough to ask Snooki how drunk she was before he allowed her to engage in him. Snooki said she wasn’t that drunk, and so they started writhing around on those beds that are even too thin for a log roller to log roll on, and Pauly D was convinced they had sex because he’d lived with Vinny for so long and he knows the noises Vinny makes when he gets it in.

“Honestly, I would never cheat on Jionni.” – Snooki

This week’s episode began with a chronicle of the next morning, when Snooki barged into the room she shared with Jenni and woke her up at 7:30 AM because she wanted to talk. Jenni was surprised to learn Snooki spent the night in Vinny’s bed, but Snooki insisted all they did was cuddle. Then Jenni told her how she was never going to talk to Mike again because after Snooki went into Vinny’s bed, Mike told everyone that Snooki gave him oral sex. Mike heard Snooki screaming about how upset she was at him and he came into the room to ask why she was making so much noise, but Snooki told him to get out because they weren’t friends anymore, seeing as he continued to go around telling everyone they had sex when they really didn’t. To clear their heads, the two best friends went out to get mimosas and Mike sat at home trying to figure out how he could teach Snooki to come to him if she had a problem with him instead of talking to everyone else about it. He ended up calling his friend Unit (who was in L.A. with Snooki and Mike when they supposedly hooked up) to “refresh his memory” about what happened that night, and Unit said Snooki really did have oral sex with Mike because she got horny watching Unit and Ryder (Snooki’s friend) have sex. Once his time line of the events were validated, Mike’s plan began to take shape and he decided to tell a lie to all the roommates and see which one of them ratted him out first, and the lie was going to be that he gave Jionni’s phone number to his friend Unit and asked Unit if he would call Jionni and tell him everything that happened between him and Snooki.

“Did you have sex?” – Jenni

“No…?” – Snooki

At breakfast, Jenni flat out asked Snooki if she had sex with Vinny, and she denied it because she didn’t remember and assumed she’d remember having sex if she did. Back at the house, Mike walked around aimlessly waiting for someone to come along so he could put his plan of humiliating Snooki into motion, and he first settled on Ronnie. So Mike explained that he told Unit to tell Jionni everything, and Ronnie didn’t even care enough to even stop putting on his deodorant. But  Mike had inadvertently also told Sam the lie too because she had walked by Ronnie’s room while Mike was explaining it, and so Sam then raced into Deena’s room and told her what Mike said about having Unit call Jionni. Both Deena and Sam thought it would be best to confront Mike to see whether or not he really did tell Unit to call Jionni (even though he didn’t, remember! This was just Mike’s test to see which one of his roommates would rat him out first!), and Mike told both of them that yes, he really did tell his friend to tell Jionni about everything that happened between him and Snooki. Sam and Deena were shocked with how stupid Mike was acting and they both said they had no choice but to tell Snooki about what he “did.” So after the two girls finished working at the pizza shop, they raced home and went into Snooki’s room and told her what Mike told them about telling Unit to call Jionni. Once she heard what happened, Snooki ran out of her room and ran into the living room and thew wine bottles and water bottles and tables and chairs at Mike and yelled at him to stop getting involved in her life. Eventually Mike confessed the whole thing was a joke and explained he was just trying to prove to everyone that before you get angry at someone for doing something bad, you should take a few seconds to ask them if they actually did the bad thing you think they did. It was just a mess, and Mike is even more terrible than a teacher who thinks cubbyholes are stupid.

“Nicole, get up.” – Jenni

The next day, the girls and guys spent some time apart for a while so they could clear their heads. The guys organized a trip to go to Sicily to hang out with Vinny’s family and the girls planned a trip to go to a few wine tastings. Of course the guys’ trip went without incident, and it was very nice to watch some little Italian kids play soccer with Mike and kick balls to his nuts. The girls’ trip, however, WAS WITH INCIDENT! What happened was as they were going through their wine tasting, Snooki told the girls she only went to go cuddle with Vinny because she was really mad at Jionni for calling her a pig and for just, being embarrassed about everything all the time. Then Jenni interjected and said Jionni wouldn’t forgive her for cuddling with Vinny, and told Snooki that she should just accept the fact he wasn’t going to get over it and that essentially, she ended their relationship. Jenni’s comments made Snooki angry because she believed Jenni was supposed to be her best friend and she was supposed to tell her things like “oh, you slept in another guys bed? Your boyfriend’s a prick if he can’t get over that.” Snooki defended herself by saying she didn’t actually sleep with Vinny because she would never cheat on Jionni, and Jenni insisted that because she cuddled with Vinny, her relationship with Jionni was totally over maintained she should just accept what happened and move on. Then things got worse and eventually Snooki just got up and left the wine tasting and scampered across the grass and back into the van that had driven them to the estate. Even though the whole exchange made Deena and Sam wonder if Snooki really did have sex with Vinny and Mike, fortunately no one spoke during the drive back to Florence.