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‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’ Recap: We’ll Always Have Vegas

As usual, last night’s episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians was full of drama that neither you nor I will be thinking about tomorrow morning. But also as usual, it’s not going to talk about itself. So let’s talk about it!

“Are you drunk?” – Kylie

When Kris and Bruce and Kendall and Kylie were sitting at dinner one night, Kendall and Kylie were talking about how they’d joined the track team. Kris was completely shocked and started asking all these questions like she wanted to prove her daughters were lying to her about joining the team, but they answered all of them and proved to their mother that they really had joined the track team without her paying attention/noticing. Then, Kendall said one of the girls in her class was thirteen and pregnant, and that sent Kris over the edge because presumably, that girl’s mother wasn’t around and so that made Kris realize she needed to spend more time with her daughters. Her realization was confirmed when she got flack from Kourtney and Bruce about being a better mother to Kim, Kourtney, Khloe and Robert than she is to Kendall and Kylie. Kris felt bad for putting the Kardashian brand above her two youngest daughters, and so she decided to spend more time with them. This, of course, included Kris hanging out with her daughters’ friends too, because in their mother’s absence, the girls have latched onto their friends and had become inseparable from them. She made a pretty significant effort to get back into their lives, though, by interrupting the dance sessions that Kendall and Kylie had with their best friends and apologizing for inserting herself into conversations about Justin Bieber by ordering pizza for everyone. She also took them all to go ice skating (which seems cheesy) and on the way there the girls called a Chinese fire drill, which is that thing you do I guess when you want to lock the least liked person in the group out of the car…and so obviously, they locked Kris out. Then the girls all skated together and left Kris to skate by herself, and even though we watched it in different states and through televisions, it was still painful to watch. Later on, Bruce told Kris that her efforts to reconnect with her daughters were making them miserable, and so she cooled her jets and just let them do their own thing.

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“You’re going to behave, right?” – Scott’s boss

Meanwhile, Kourtney was very uncomfortable because Scott lined up a gig for himself in Las Vegas at some club, and she knew that if he went he’d have to have a few drinks. This wouldn’t really be a problem for someone who can remain a decent person while drinking, but since the last time Scott went to Vegas he shoved something into a waiter’s mouth to get him to stop talking, Kourtney was extremely nervous about how Scott’s journey and drinking would affect their relationship. But what could she do? At dinner with him before he went, she said she didn’t think it was such a good idea for him to go, but Scott said he was going anyway, and then mentioned something about how he didn’t stop her from letting her pubic hair grow out, so how dare she stop him from going to Vegas? So Kourtney had no choice but to drive him to the runway where his private jet was taking off, watch as he met up with his friends (who were already drinking champagne), and send him on his way. Once he got to Vegas and went to dinner with some of his older men friends, Scott started drinking scotch and acting out so much that the guys he was with were all like, “please behave.” Scott said he would, but he kept drinking scotch and vodka the whole night and blatantly disobeyed Kourtney’s request to abstain from drinking. When Scott returned home from Vegas, he told Kourtney that he didn’t drink at all and then demanded an apology from her for assuming that he would. Man, it’s just too bad we can’t all have Scotts.

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