‘Nashville’ Recap: A Boring Death and Scarlett’s Big Cupcake Controversy


Nashville made us wait two weeks (again) to get our country drama fix, but it was worth it. It was so worth it. When we left our friends, s*** was just starting to hit the fan: Rayna and Teddy sealed their divorce by both messing around with other people (namely Peggy and Deacon), Gunnar’s convict brother crashed at his apartment (but forgot to mention he also brought a loaded gun), and Avery, well, he was just being Avery. This week, there were even more developments all around: Scarlett revealed a surprising new side and there was a death that no one saw coming. (But also no one really cared about.) Shall we?

The Rayna Story
Rayna is not having a good day. After she went to Teddy’s office to confront him about his not-so-discreet phone call to Peggy that their daughter overheard, she heads to the only place of comfort she knows: the grocery store. She’s picking up snacks and veggies and walking with her head high as usual — with her girls and sister by her side — when suddenly, news breaks of her and Teddy’s split in the most unrealistic way possible.

Now, I know this takes place in Nashville, and I don’t know much about the way gossip is leaked over there, but it is 2013. A star couple splitting would surely be inundating Twitter feeds long before you could read about it in a grocery store aisle tabloid. But nevertheless, this is how it goes down on Nashville. Rayna scurries out of the store faster than a southern socialite can whisper “ya heard?”, knowing full well that she has to stay under the radar, but still needing to see Deacon. It’s been too long since they groped each other in the elevator and she got a glimpse of his chest hair. Plus, it’s his birthday! How convenient! And what better way to stay out of the spotlight than to make a grand entrance at the Bluebird for his surprise party, and sing him a birthday song that not only describes their entire relationship, but also encourages pouring strong drinks, which as we know, Deacon should not be doing. 

RELATED: ‘Nashville’ Recap: Finally! The Kiss We’ve All Been Waiting For

The Teddy and Lamar Story
Oh Teddy, you think you are so strong and handsome and manly, but you are not. You are a scared little boy, and you are about to get ruined. He still doesn’t know that Lamar almost certainly rigged the campaign to get him the Mayor seat, and he apparently still doesn’t get that Lamar can break him with the snap of a finger. When Lamar stops by his office, Teddy immediately goes on the defense, demanding that their meetings revolve around business and not Rayna. Silly Teddy. Stupid Teddy. Lamar plays along with the charade in such a terrifying way it’s a surprise he doesn’t just strangle the poor kid with his own tie. But perhaps that’s coming…

The Scarlett Story
Scarlett, otherwise known as the most annoying character to ever accidentally grace TV networks, may have just turned everything around this week. Not only did she cause controversy with her cupcake sandwich — which by the way, OMG — but she sexually molested Gunnar (something for which we’ve obviously been waiting for quite some time) after he finds out that his brother was beaten to death! Under normal circumstances, I might say, “WTF, Scar? Show a little decency!” But for some reason, this change of attitude is so refreshing that I almost forgot about her prissy, white-laced persona. I love seeing her breaking baked good rules and explode in a fit of sexual deviancy. It’s sexy and fun and I want more of this Scarlett. A lot more.

RELATED: Is Maddie on ‘Nashville’ TV’s Newest Creepy Daughter?

The Juliette and Deacon Story
Juliette and Deacon still have this bizarre father-daughter slash groupie-rocker slash stripper-oldie relationship that is hard to decipher. She wants to please him in so many different ways, it’s hard to keep up or understand what her intentions are. In any case, it’s Deacon’s birthday, and Juliette thinks it would be a grand idea to throw him a surprise party, even though we learn that he would much rather celebrate by watching Old Yeller. But this just won’t do. She gathers more than 2,000 of his closest pals and crams them all into the Bluebird. Her mom — who is trying so damn hard to be sober with the help of her hot Latin sponsor — helps in the festivities. Unfortunately, she also helps herself to some champagne at the end of the night.

The Avery Story
Avery does what no one saw coming. What no one ever thought was in the realm of possibility. Something so dramatic and game changing that it will take weeks to fully settle in: he loses the choker.

[Image Credit: Katherine Bomboy-Thornton/ABC] 

Follow Anna on Twitter @thebrandedgirl

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