Robert Downey Jr. Wants A Daughter: Late Last Night

Robert Downey Jr. brought his Sherlock Holmes hair to Leno last night, and talked more about how he wants to impregnate his wife. Leno matched it with a totally riveting story about how one Halloween, he and his friends drove from Andover, Massachusetts to Lake George, New York, because they had heard of a girl who put out. Ladies and gentleman, that is the story Jay Leno told to Robert Downey Jr. to pass the time.

Robert also told Jay about how he’s taken up smoking again, and how hard it was for him to get back into his Sherlock Holmes physique. And somehow, they got to talking about enemas. Actually, not so somehow, really.

Taylor Swift shelved her singing voice (but kept the cat eye!) to talk to David Letterman about perfume. Dave remarked that she smelled like “expensive wood,” and she said she grew up on a Christmas tree farm. And suddenly, Taylor Swift makes sense.

Joan Rivers talked to Jimmy Fallon about how she was engaged to a Chilean miner. She also made a pretty good dirty joke about what he learned by being down in the mine for so long, and how he’s embracing his freedom with his new skill.

Jon Stewart gave us a taste with the people who will be covering the Sanity and Fear Rallies in DC on Sunday. They all made remarks at how crappy the city is…so have fun trying to explain to your Super Mario costume that you’re leaving it for something better.

And Stephen Colbert talked about the midterm elections and how campaigns will have spent $3 billion by November in his segment, The Word.