‘True Blood’ Recap: I’m Alive And On Fire

True Blood Pam“BABY NOT YOURS” – Terrifying Demon Baby

S4E4: Between True Blood and A Game Of Thrones, HBO is becoming the most incestuous channel on TV. I wonder if there’s an Emmy for that. Bill discovered that the charming associate who he’d been knocking heels was, in fact, his great-great-great-great-granddaughter. Which puts an end to the relationship, and probably a start to a whole lot of therapy.

Yes, True Blood cranked up the creepy last night, and it helped bring some energy to the show. I will admit to getting freaked out at the reveal that Arlene’s Satan baby was writing on the walls. It wasn’t quite REDRUM, but it was still pretty freaky. Marnie made the transition from space-case to actual threat, when she was channeled again by that Inquisition-era witch. She uses her borrowed necromancy powers to age Pam’s face, in what must be the grossest special effect the makeup crew has ever done. Marnie is quickly rising on my list of people who need to die this season- not only is she a whiny, ineffectual hippie, now she hurt Pam! That will not stand.

“Breed, ghost daddy, breed!”

Jason finally escaped from the hillbilly stereotypes this week with the help of the lil’est hillbilly, who cuts him loose after he gives her a COSMO-esque talk about waiting for the right man. I doubt that COSMO ever imagined this exact scenario, though. When Jason escapes, he manages to take out Crystal’s brother/boyfriend with a combination of a spear and a jaguar who forgets that has peripheral vision and can climb trees. Crystal, who honestly just doesn’t make sense as a character at this point, tells Jason that he’ll come back, and that there’s no place in the outside world for him any more. Lady, I don’t think Stockholm Syndrome works that way. Or that fast.

If you want to see how Stockholm Syndrome works, you just have to take a look at the Mickens. Tommy goes back to congratulate his mom for leaving Joe Lee, but winds up kidnapped because she’s still loyal to the abusive prick. I would be more critical of this plot, which already happened last season, if it didn’t also include the possibility of simply removing the whole Mickens clan from the show altogether. Which would leave time for the far cuter plot of Sam spending time with his shifter girlfriend Luna, and her precocious shifter pup. The fact that she’s part werewolf makes me think that she’s Alcide’s love child (love-puppy?), but I suppose there are other werewolves on the show.

“You drank the whole fairy, and you’re going to your room”- Sookie

Speaking of Alcide, he stopped by the plot today in order to help Sookie recapture a blood-drunk Eric, and to show off his fabulous torso. That certainly explains why they brought Brawny back for a second season. It turns out that fairy blood, as well as working as sunscreen, also makes vampires kind of giddy. So naturally, Eric runs off to frolic in a nearby lake, and pretend to be a sea god. It is very cute, and you can hardly blame Sookie for almost kissing him at the end of the day. In fact, this was a good episode for Sookie, who stands out as the reasonable, mature adult in a group of eight year old boys. Sookie’s best when she’s the competent straight-woman to the wacky antics of Bon Temps, and worst when she’s the screaming and falling-over style love interests of romance novels. Hopefully, with the vampires running in circles, Sookie will get a chance to stand up for herself.

Best Moments:

“I am Aegir god of the sea, and you are Ran my sun goddess.” Drunk amnesiac Eric is just the cutest. Whiny “I will never see the sun on your hair again” Eric was not the cutest.

“Some old hippies levitated an old bird. So what?” I am so glad that they made Nan Flannigan a regular this season.