‘True Blood’ Recap: I Wish I Was The Moon

sookehhhS4E6:Tonight’s episode of True Blood was the midpoint for the season, and the plot finally seems to be picking up steam. Lafayette taps into some of his magic mojo with the help of Jesus’s creepy grandpa, Marnie gets even closer with the Spanish witch who’s been controlling her, and Bill is getting sucked even deeper into vampire politics. But let’s not forget the most important part- Sookie and Eric have sex! In the woods! Which seems uncomfortable, but seeing as how she had sex in a graveyard with Bill that one time, everything’s relative. Yes, after seasons of sexual tension, and some very sweet speechifying from the imprisoned Eric, he and Sookie finally get it on. So, audience, what say you? Are you glad that the sexual tension finally went somewhere, or are you in the Bill+Sookie=ForEVUR camp? And how long do you think it will be until Eric regains his memory at a dramatically appropriate moment?

“Sorry, it’s hard to keep track of which of y’all hate each other.” -Sookie

Of course, because this is True Blood, eight thousand other plots happened tonight. Terry and Arlene’s house burned down, courtesy of what Arlene thinks is Rene’s ghost. Odds are that it has nothing to do with Rene, since they make a point of saying that the spooky baby doll survived the fire, and a mysterious African-American woman appears at the crime scene. My guess is that she’s a ghost, along the lines of the one that Lafayette runs into at Jesus’s grandfather’s house. Jesus’s grandpa continues to be creepy, sending the boys on a quest to find an animal sacrifice. Half of his scenes take place entirely in spanish, which is good for recappers like me who like subtitles, and bad for Lafayette, who has no idea what’s going on. Fortunately, he steps up to the plate when Jesus gets rattlesnake’d in the face and channels his uncle in order to heal him.

Marnie also improves her ghost-channeling abilities, allowing Antonia to possess her in prison. She also has more flashbacks to Antonia’s life, including her curse that sent the vampires into the sun the first time around. Antonia’s a surprisingly interesting character- in the flashbacks we see of her life, it’s easy to sympathize with her, but it’s clear that she’s going to make life for our vamp friends rather difficult. Not that Bill doesn’t deserve it, it’s fun watching him throw around his kingly authority, but it’s also turned him into more of a jerk than usual- he breaks up Sookie and Eric’s makeout session, insults her, and throws her off the property. Luckily, he’s still nice enough to listen as Eric gives him the world’s sappiest love speech, and lets him go afterwards. I’m sure that will come back to bite him in the ass once Nan Flannigan comes back to town, but even Bill cannot resist the charms of adorable amnesia Eric.


“I’ll be here to help you, any way I can. Except shooting you in the head.” -Sookie

When not rounding the bases with Eric, Sookie spends the episode with Jason, who’s scared of becoming a were-panther during the full moon. Jason’s fears come to nothing, as it’s impossible to be turned into a shapeshifter. Which manages to make the ridiculous hillbilly stereotypes even more ridiculous, how in the world did they not know that? I mean, I know that they’ve done a lot of meth and have a family tree more convoluted than the Hapsburgs, but they still should have been able to notice that biting people NEVER turned them into panthers. The existential crisis this brings on for Jason is pretty cute, though, and leads to him having a panic attack in the woods with Jessica. I’m not looking forward to the “Jason loves Jessica! But Hoyt’s his best friend! How can he possibly make the moral choice not to put his dick in something?” plot that’s going to result from their sexual tension, but Jason and Jessica are two of my favorite characters, so I’m okay for the moment.

“If you don’t stop fucking with me, I will turn into a doberman and bite off your face.” -Sam

Sam decides to let Tommy open Merlotte’s for the day, despite the fact that Tommy is underage, severely depressed from killing his parents, and a complete idiot. It’s inevitable that something will go wrong, and that something is Tommy discovering that he can turn into other people, specifically Sam. While this plot development had been kind of inevitable, it did lead to some entertaining moments. Especially the one where Tommy fires Sookie for being the world’s worst waitress. Seriously, she’s only gone to work once this whole season. The act was less funny, however, when Tommy uses it to sleep with Luna, Sam’s badly-timed but otherwise kind of charming girlfriend. Human shapeshifting seems to have some negative side-effects, other than the overwhelming creepiness, of course, but it’s probably too much to hope for that Tommy’s dead. At the very least, I hope this will teach him a valuable lesson about not ruining other people’s lives.

Speaking of ruining people’s lives, Tara and her girlfriend are back! Okay, that’s not really being fair, they’re boring, but not nearly as boring as some of the other story lines we’ve seen over the years. Tara gives her GF a tour of the town, which is abruptly curtailed when Pam shows up to get revenge for her current decomposition. My guess- Pam will kill Tara’s girlfriend (who I swear has a name, but I can’t remember it) and Tara will team up with Marnie to become a vamp-hunting extremist. I hope I’m predicting wrong, since I do look down on women in refrigerator plots.

“Is he is a danger to everyone, or is he just faking it to get into his pants?” -Sookie

Sookie’s become a surprisingly compelling character this season, mostly by not acting like a complete moron. (The bar’s not super high on this show). She even got all three page quotes! She’s been quick to forgive Amnesia Eric for his sins, even ones he’s done post-amnesia, like killing her fairy godmother, but I can buy her change of heart. If anything, I think Eric’s transformation into noble martyr is a bit much to take- even if he’s lost his memory, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he should have a completely different personality. Perhaps True Blood is meditating on the philosophical conundrum of nature versus nurture, of personality being learned and taught by society rather than innate. That, or they thought it would be hot.

Best Moments:

“Believe it or not, my entire existence does not revolve around what or who is between your legs.” Damn, Bill. You bitchy.

Terry’s armadillo made it out of the fire alright! Hooray!

“Self-loathing, power hungry, pompus little dork!” An accurate, if unkind, description of Bill.

Apparently, Jessica’s boobs make Jason feel warm and safe.

“Tell her I was born the night she found me” That sound you can hear is me, projectile vomiting into the bushes.