‘True Blood’ Recap: Life Matters (Season 6, Episode 9)

Truebies, it’s time to face the disturbing fact that there is only one more episode left of this season. As much as it’s a downer to picture future dark, dark days absent of True Blood amazingness, we must try our best to put those horrible images aside as we get ready for the upcoming season six finale.

But before we get our blood pumping at the thought of next week’s ill-fated, heart-breaking finale, let’s go over some of the crazy shenanigans that seized the screen in this week’s episode. And thankfully, the minds behind True Blood kept this episode plain and simple, focusing this episode on two main storylines: pairing Terry’s heartfelt funeral with the contrasting chaos at vamp-camp. There was not much Warlow chaos and there was no unwanted werewolf/shifter drama. Phew! 

First off, let’s head on over to Bon Temps where townies gathered to celebrate the life of Terry Belfleur at his funeral. 

Remembering Terry
We finally bid farewell to the much-loved Terry Bellfleur with a slew of eulogies that trigger a whole lot of flashbacks. Andy remembers when Terry first returned home from war and hid out at their childhood fort. Sam recalls an especially sentimental moment when Terry declared that “every life matters,” even a mere catfish while out fishing. And Lafayette reveals how after he peered into Terry’s soul, he became his french-fry, booty-popping mentor. 

Right before Arlene shares her eulogy, Sookie jumps in and shares a memory of when she witnessed Terry fall in love with Arlene for the first time. Sook confesses to listening in to Terry’s thoughts one evening at Merlott’s and hearing his heart racing as he thought how being with Arlene “would make coming out of the woods not so bad.” Aw! 

And finally, it’s Arlene’s turn to remember her hubby, which prompts her to recall the day baby Mikey came into the world. In the midst of Arlene fussing about how Mikey’s despises her and refuses to breastfeed, Terry comes to the rescue and consoles the now-weeping redhead by telling her how much this family meant to him. Ugh, we’re going to miss that fellow. 

Warlow Life Update
After last week’s episode left Warlow looking not so hot– thanks to Eric who almost drained him to the core–Sookie revives the guy with some of her lovely fairy blood. Phew! P.S. I’m starting to hear wedding bells for these two… Yes, Sookie finally told Warlow she intends to keep her promise and become his fairy-vampire bride! 

Bye Bye Vamp-Camp
Eric’s hype on Warlow’s blood with a mission to save vampire kind from extinction over at vamp-camp. Bill rolls up to vamp-camp ready to save the day and carry out his Lilith-sent mission. But, it’s clear Eric’s already on the job: not only is the hottie vampire freeing his fellow vampers, but he’s also brutally ending every human life in sight at vamp-camp, including Dr. Overlark’s… and why yes, he does rip off his penis. And yes, I will never look at a penis the same way, ever, ever again.  

And Jason fans, don’t fret, Eric not only saves our favorite piece of man-candy from the confines of vamp-camp, but also heals him and clues him in that “he’s in for a treat.” So, I guess we have some more gay wet dreams from Jason coming up. P.S. Just because Jason’s free from vamp-camp, that doesn’t mean he’s free from Violet. Oh yes! He’s still Violet’s sexy little human playtoy.

Sarah Newlin is Saved… But Why?!
While every doctor/ researcher who tortured away at vamp-camp gets savagely murdred, Sarah Newlin manages to sneak past and expose all our vampires in the white room to the sun. But right as Newlin squeals “Die F*ckers,” she realizes that these vampers aren’t quite ready to hit the grave for good. Bill has come to the rescue! Rejoice! He’s shared a lil bit of his Warlow-ified blood with all his vamper friends. Can I get a hell yeah!? 

But fortunately, one vampire can’t seem to get a lick of Bill’s blood and ends up shredding to pieces in the sunlight. Yes, truebies, we FINALLY get to say goodbye to the one, the only Steve Newlin… but not before he manages to scream out “I love you, Jason Stackhouse”. And then I died of laughter for the rest of the episode.

Decked out in a white pantsuit, Sarah Newlin tries to flee from the daywalkin’ vamp clan… but the bump-it aficionado can’t seem to run fast enough. Jason gets a hold of the crazy chick and claims its his religious duty to kill Sarah. Yet, Jason can’t manage to pull the trigger and is lame enough to let her go. I’m sorry, but ARE YOU DUMB? Okay, like I knew Jason was stupid, but who knew this hunk could get himself to this uptime level of dumb-assness. Really, really, stupid decision Jason. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive you for this one… Then again, if you take your shirt off, maybe I’ll take it easy on you. 

Reunited and It Feels So Eh 
After Eric gets ear that the psychiatrist f*cked Pam, he’s enraged to say the least. But, I was a tad thankful, because it led to a much-needed bonding moment for Eric and Pam. It seemed that their maker-protege connection rekindled when Eric gushed to Pam how he saved the therapist for her to kill off and she lit up like a full-blown Christmas tree. But, no… their bonding sesh didn’t last for long at all. Right as Pam begs Eric not to go AWOL once more, Eric jets right on off. Ugh. Why must you go?!

The End of Billith As We Know It
Everyone’s high and happy on Bill’s blood, dancing in the sunlight, having a good ole party, and smashing every laced True Blood bottle in sight. But, Bill’s not feeling happy-go-lucky like the rest of his vamper pals. Three Lilith sirens appear before Bill sharing that his time on earth is over. Although I’m not a huge Billith fan, that doesn’t mean I’m even nearly ready to say peace out to Bill.  

But thankfully, James has the nifty plan to feed Bill more Warlowy blood. Aha! That does the trick. So, does this mean we have the real Bill back? As in the Bill we first fell in love with… or is Lilith still controlling the dude? Dun dun dun!

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