Ricky Gervais has a history of pissing off celebrities with his Golden Globe monologue. Johnny Depp even made an appearance on the Gervais produced sitcom Life’s Too Short where he heckled Gervais with some of his own jokes (like “Why did Ricky Gervais do a series of audiobooks? So the blind could hate him as well” and “Why isn’t Ricky Gervais circumcised? Because there’s no end to that prick”).
In 2012, Gervais famously claimed “I guarantee they will not invite me back.” Well he’s back. As we expected, last night’s monologue attacked celebrities, Hollywood culture, and even the awards themselves. Some fans thought the jokes were witty, but others thought they were cringe inducing. You decide for yourself.
Here are the best celebrity burns from the 73rd Golden Globe Awards:
You disgusting, pill-popping, sexual deviant scum. I want to do this monologue and then go into into hiding. Not even Sean Penn will find me.
“I want to do this monologue and then go into hiding…” — @rickygervais. This is going to be good. #GoldenGlobes
— Erin Medley (@E_Meds) January 11, 2016
We’re live on NBC and it’s right that NBC host this award show because they’re the only network who are truly fair and impartial and that’s because they’re the only network with zero nominations.
Ricky Gervais just shaded the fuc out of NBC #GoldenGlobes
— Film Fatale NYC (@FilmFatale_NYC) January 11, 2016
I’m going to be nice tonight. I’ve changed. Not as much as Bruce Jenner, obviously. Now Caitlyn Jenner, of course. What a year she’s had. She became a role model for trans people everywhere, showing great bravery in breaking down barriers and destroying stereotypes. She didn’t do a lot for women drivers, but you can’t have everything.
He brought his beer onstage, told a Caitlyn Jenner joke, and told the audience he didn’t care. Was this Ricky’s 1st open mic? #GoldenGlobes
— Caleb Synan (@CalebSynan) January 11, 2016
Jeffrey Tambor… What a year he’s had. What an actor, what a role. Everyday, he has to put on all the women’s clothes and the hair and makeup and let people film it. That takes balls. I don’t know how he does it. I really don’t. I’ve seen his balls. They’re huge and long.
NBC has to be THRILLED with Ricky Gervais’ multiple jokes about Jeffrey Tambor’s balls. #GoldenGlobes
— Richard Roeper (@richardroeper) January 11, 2016
One Hollywood publication said that me hosting would mean that some film stars would stay away for fear of being made fun of. As if film stars would stay away from the chance of winning a Golden Globe. Particularly if their film company has already paid for it.
“particularly if their film company has already paid for it.” camera zooms in on harvey weinstein. #goldenglobes
— Barbara Chai (@barbarachai) January 11, 2016
So what’s happened this last year in this crazy business we call show. The excellent Spotlight has been nominated. The Catholic Church are furious about the film as it exposes the fact that 5 percent of all their priests have repeatedly molested children and been allowed to continue to work without punishment. Roman Polanski called it the best date movie ever.
Maggie Gyllenhaal is NOT HERE for your dated Roman Polanski references, Ricky #GoldenGlobes
— Grant Sloss (@GrossSlant) January 11, 2016
Jennifer Lawrence made the news when she demanded equal pay for women in Hollywood. And she received overwhelming support from people everywhere. There were marches on the street with nurses and factory workers saying, “How the hell can a 25 year old live on 52 million?”
Did they do a mani-cam on the red carpet at the #GoldenGlobes this year or do we just get equal pay instead?
— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) January 11, 2016
Joking aside, of course women should be paid the same as men for doing the same job. And I’d like to say now that I’m getting paid exactly the same as Tina and Amy did last year. Now I know there was two of them, but it’s not my fault if they want to share the money.
If the #GoldenGlobes try to ask J-Law and A-Schu to host next year, I hope they demand 4X whatever Gervais made. Each.
— Daniel Fienberg (@TheFienPrint) January 11, 2016
The Hollywood Foreign Press deemed The Martian a comedy and even nominated it… To be fair, The Martian was a lot funnier that Pixels. But then again so was Schindler’s List.
Best Foreign Language film: The Martian. #goldenglobes
— The Sklar Brothers (@SklarBrothers) January 11, 2016
All female remakes are the big thing. There’s a female remake of Ghostbusters. There’s going to be a female remake of Ocean’s 11. And this is brilliant for the studios because they get guaranteed box office results and they don’t have to spend too much money on the cast.
.@rickygervais calls out the Ghostbusters remake as unnecessary in front of 2/3s of the cast. #soulmate #GoldenGlobes
— Milksteak&Jellybeans (@Tallulahs_Ghost) January 11, 2016
If you do win tonight, remember no one cares about that award as much as you do. Don’t get emotional. It’s embarrassing. That award is, no offense, worthless.
Ricky Gervais literally just said the #GoldenGlobes were worthless and now Jonah Hill is on stage in a bear mask. Hahaha what a circus
— Danny Kid (@DannyKidRadio) January 11, 2016
The Golden Globes doesn’t have an “in memoriam” section to get you all depressed. Instead we let the President of the Hollywood Foreign Press say a few words.
Can we just do an In Memoriam right now for the death of the best show ever? #MadMen #GoldenGlobes
— Zach J. Hoag (@zhoag) January 11, 2016
Our next presenter is the star of the hilarious comedy The Martian… He’s also the only person who Ben Affleck hasn’t been unfaithful to. Please welcome, Matt Damon.
me when Ricky Gervais said Matt Damon’s the “only person Ben Affleck hasn’t been unfaithful to” #GoldenGlobes pic.twitter.com/ajT8pACaCF
— cali spice (@goldengateblond) January 11, 2016
