Barbra Streisand
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BirthDate BirthPlace |
04/23/1942
Brooklyn, NY |
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Fascinating Fact:
April 11, 2013 8:25am ESTKelly Rowland, Rita Ora and Martha Wainwright were the star performers at the fourth annual Elle Women in Music concert in New York City on Wednesday (10Apr13). Katy Perry, Britney Spears and Barbra Streisand were among the guests at the event, which was held at The Edison Ballroom in Manhattan.
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Michael Bolton is toast of broadcasters' gala
April 10, 2013 10:08pm ESTSinger Michael Bolton was saluted for his successful four-decade career by bosses at America's National Association of Broadcasters (NAB) during a glitzy Las Vegas gala on Tuesday (09Apr13). The Grammy winner was recognised for his songwriting achievements and philanthropic efforts at the BMI Board of Directors' 65th annual NAB Dinner. The 60-year-old star performed for guests at the black-tie event and was also presented with a special certificate marking his achievements. Reflecting on the honour, he says, "Songwriting itself is a part of who I am and collaborating with songwriters has been the lift-off of my life. I started writing with people in '82 and it's great to look back and know that I was embraced by everybody from Kenny Rogers to Barbra Streisand to KISS." Bolton is in good company as BMI's latest honouree - other stars feted by the group include Carlos Santana, Willie Nelson, Paul Simon, Barry Manilow and Dolly Parton.
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Get Thee to the Geek: 7 Movies That Influenced 'BioShock Infinite'
March 26, 2013 8:50pm ESTIt’s one of the laziest clichés in film criticism: to say that movies, particularly of the blockbuster sort, have become like videogames. It’s meant as a critique of what’s perceived as Hollywood’s emphasis on action and explosions, lack of interest in character development, and slavish devotion to teenage boys and their dollars. It’s also meant as a kneejerk dismissal of videogames. “How could a videogame possibly be a work of art?” and all that. The funny thing is that the reverse of that cliché has become very, very true in recent years: videogames have become like movies. The Mass Effect trilogy became the most detailed example of cinematic sci-fi worldbuilding since Stars Trek and Wars. The Uncharted series has quickly established itself as the truest spiritual heir to the Indiana Jones movies to emerge from any medium. Red Dead Redemption considered Manifest Destiny with far greater insight than even worthy movie Westerns like True Grit and Django Unchained. But the game franchise that in some ways is the most daringly original is also the one the draws the deepest from its cinematic roots. I’m talking about BioShock. The very first BioShock installment back in 2007 was a heady pastiche of a whole array of movie influences. It also integrated film storytelling directly into the gameplay experience, rather than advance the narrative primarily through cutscene cinematics as so many games have. Now, the latest installment in the series, BioShock Infinite, has been released and it’s a turn-of-the-last-century steampunk fantasia. Get Thee to the Geek: Why Slasher Cinema Is No Longer Killer BioShock Infinite is the story of a disgraced Pinkerton agent, Booker DeWitt, who lost his faith in his line of work after participating in the Massacre at Wounded Knee. The year is 1912, and DeWitt’s been given an opportunity to pay old debts, possibly old debts from his Pinkerton days. He’s been tasked to infiltrate a massive floating city called Columbia, after the female personification of America, and rescue a woman named Elizabeth who’s been held there for 12 years against her will. He goes to a missile silo, is launched to Columbia, and begins his journey. In the floating city, he discovers that there’s a brewing conflict between its strict-constructionist Founders and the growing rebel movement, the Vox Populi, who could also be called Occupy Columbia. BioShock Infinite has wide cinematic roots, but there are seven movie influences in particular—or rather, six influences and one reference—that stand out. The Empire Strikes Back—Ken Levine, the lead designer on BioShock Infinite and co-founder and creative director of Irrational Games, BioShock’s studio, has gone on record as saying that the Star Wars sequel’s Cloud City, the vast metropolis suspended in the sky of gas giant Bespin, was a source of inspiration for Columbia. Like Cloud City, Columbia is basically a giant floating platform upon which the cityscape itself is built. Levine has also said that the Death Star influenced the concept of Columbia because of the city’s formidable weapons systems. Get Thee to the Geek: Why ‘Clone Wars’ Was ‘Star Wars’ At Its Very Best Meet Me in St. Louis & Other Turn-of-the-20th-Century Americana—Despite being a floating city, Columbia is still a floating city in 1912. So Levine drew upon films that portrayed a highly idealized view of picket-fenced American life at that time. Films like Vincente Minnelli’s immortal 1944 classic Meet Me in St. Louis, which is like a Technicolor postcard from a bygone age that never was. Or later films The Music Man and Hello, Dolly! The latter film, starring Barbra Streisand and Walter Matthau, is by no means a stranger to sci-fi, having been WALL-E’s favorite movie. So if you combine these front-porch idylls with Cloud City, you’ve got a pretty good idea of what Columbia looks like. Of course that combination also means we’ve got some pretty heavy… …Steampunk—The retro-futurism aesthetic that imagines contemporary or future technology as powered entirely by steam. It’s the go-to mode in movies, like Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes films, of envisioning bygone eras as being more sophisticated than they really were. For the apex of steampunk see Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, which, with its airships, including one that practically could be called a floating city, left its mark on BioShock. B.o.B an Big Boi Talk ‘Army of Two: The Devil’s Disciple’ The Shining & Blue Velvet—Of course, the BioShock series has always had a touch of horror cinema about it. Infinite is going for something a little bit more subtle: to mine an all-American milieu of its inherent eeriness the way that David Lynch did to Lumberton in Blue Velvet or Stanley Kubrick to the Overlook Hotel in The Shining. How do you create terror in environs that are the furthest thing from terrifying? Yet another way Levine has raised the bar this time around. The Pinkertons—The legendary private security and detection organization was a mainstay in strikebreaking and outlaw-hunting in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, and frequent Western movie villains. You'll remember their prominent appearance in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid as the ruthless enforcers who track down Butch & Sundance’s Hole in the Wall gang. Kinetoscopes—Rather than using traditional cutscenes to impart exposition, most of what you need to know about the world of Columbia is learned on the fly. However, crucial intel can be gleaned along the way by stopping to gaze into a kinetoscope. You know a kinetoscope, right? It’s a wooden box with a sprocket apparatus, into which you gaze through a viewfinder to look at a series of flip card images that, when turned, create the illusion of movement. It’s like a mechanical flip book, and is usually considered an early precursor of cinema itself. A kinetoscope works pretty much exactly like a motion picture, except that it’s not projected onto a screen. Revenge of the Jedi—Okay, this last one is not an influence on the game, since it never even existed in real life. But it is an interesting allusion. After you’ve rescued and partnered with Elizabeth, she can give you the power to open rifts in the space-time continuum to travel to other times and places. One of those places is Paris. The time? 1983. The year we all know Return of the Jedi came out. Except that the movie theater marquee in Paris reads Revenge of the Jedi. That was George Lucas’ original title for his conclusion to the Original Star Wars Trilogy, until he decided that it’s not in the Jedi way to take revenge. Several posters bearing the name Revenge of the Jedi were released, however, in early 1983 before the change to Return of the Jedi was made official. Get thee to eBay to find where you can buy one online. Do you plan on playing BioShock Infinite? And which of these cinematic influences/shout-outs is your favorite? Follow Christian Blauvelt on Twitter @Ctblauvelt [Photo Credit: 2K Games] You Might Also Like:15 Oscar-Winning Nude Scenes10 Insane 'Star Wars' Moments You Didn't Notice
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Oscars Burning Questions: In Memoriam Snubs, Tie Winners, and the Long-Haired Malfoys?
February 25, 2013 4:54pm ESTThe little golden men have been carried away by the lucky winners. The rented jewelry is being returned. Quentin Tarantino is high-fiving himself in a mirror somewhere. Ryan Seacrest and Giuliana Rancic are weeping because E! has to put aside its 360 Glam Cam until Emmy time. And Captain Kirk is now safely back in the 23rd century. But, like the bad taste that lingers from host Seth MacFarlane’s “We Saw Your Boobs” song, many questions about the 2013 Academy Awards remain. We consider it a public service to answer 10 of the biggest for you. 1. Who Was Snubbed During the In Memoriam Segment? While more than ever the Academy discouraged applause during the depressing annual segment honoring the film industry notables who’ve died in the past year—hence the lack of a true Applause-o-Meter this time around—we were crying foul about a few notable omissions from the weepy montage. Gee, pa, where was Andy Griffith? Before he played Sheriff Andy Taylor on his long-running sitcom, the Georgia native burned bright in Elia Kazan’s A Face on the Crowd (1957), as a rube turned demagogue, and showed the comic timing he’d later display on the tube in the charming military laugher No Time for Sergeants (1958). Not to mention his latter-day turn as a lovable diner patron in 2007’s Waitress. Not cool, Academy. Less surprising omissions included Larry Hagman and Phyllis Diller, who, despite making movies, are most strongly associated with TV. The same goes for Richard Dawson, the Family Feud host who played the villain in 1987’s The Running Man. More egregious were the absences of Ann Rutherford, who played one of Scarlett O’Hara’s sisters in Gone With the Wind, Our Gang star Jack Hanlon, and Snakes on a Plane director David R. Ellis. RELATED: Oscars 2013: See the Winners Here! The Academy should consider itself lucky that they included Sans Soleil director Chris Marker, or we would have lost it. 2. Did Samuel L. Jackson skip over part of the teleprompter’s banter when presenting Best Visual Effects? It’s hard to tell if it was teleprompter problems or the awkwardness of having five Avengers stars presenting two awards—for Cinematography and Visual Effects—but Marvel’s Nick Fury got especially tripped up. After awkwardly getting through the cinematography award, Jackson jumped over most of the banter for Visual Effects just to announce the winner, while Robert Downey Jr. tried to stick to the script. Maybe Jackson was worried about getting played off with the Jaws theme—understandable considering his battle with sharks in Deep Blue Sea. Since no other presenters deviated from their sometimes lengthy scripts, despite the bloated runtime of the telecast, it seems Jackson made this decision without prompting from the producers. RELATED: Oscars: 10 Best Dressed on Red Carpet! 3. The sound editors for Zero Dark Thirty and Skyfall both won in their category. How many previous ties have there been in Oscars history? There have been five previous tie winners, but none since the 1995 ceremony. In 1932, The Champ’s Wallace Beery and Dr. Jekyl & Mr. Hyde’s Frederic March tied for Best Actor, because of a rule that allowed two people to share a prize if only one vote separated them. Beery received just one extra vote than March, so both took home statuettes. Under today’s rules, Beery would have been the sole winner. RELATED: Anne Hathaway: Worst Dressed Ever? At the 1950 ceremony there was a tie in the Best Documentary Short Subject category, and in 1987 there was a tie for Documentary Feature with Artie Shaw: Time is All You’ve Got and Down and Out in America scoring the same number of votes. In 1995, Best Live Action Short film was split between Franz Kafka’s It’s a Wonderful Life and Trevor. But the most famous Oscar tie of all occurred in 1969 when both Katharine Hepburn and Barbra Streisand walked away with Best Actress for their roles in The Lion in Winter and Funny Girl, respectively. 4. Where did the 2013 ceremony rank among the all-time longest? Actually, not that high. At three hours and 35 minutes it was the longest telecast since…2010, when The Hurt Locker won best picture at the end of a three hour and 37 minute broadcast. That’s still well short of the longest Oscars ever, the four-hour 23-minute sprawl that was the 2002 Awards hosted by Whoopi Goldberg. The fastest ceremony ever? The 1956 fete that lasted only a brisk 90 minutes. NEXT: What’s up with Seth MacFarlane’s dig at Entertainment Weekly? And just who is Steve Battaglio? 5. What is Seth MacFarlane’s beef with Entertainment Weekly magazine? At the end of his opening monologue, in which Captain Kirk’s intervention had repaired the timeline and prevented MacFarlane from being declared the “worst Oscar host of all time,” a new headline appeared onscreen that said “Best Oscars ever, says everyone except Entertainment Weekly.” Why such a pointed dig? Well, it all goes back to April 9, 1999 when EW’s TV critic Ken Tucker published a review of Family Guy. He gave the new show a "D" and never warmed to it thereafter. In the 2005 direct-to-DVD movie Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story, the baby breaks the neck of a reporter the moment he learns he’s from Entertainment Weekly. Perhaps I should consider myself lucky then that I emerged with my hide after interviewing MacFarlane in 2011 for EW, after he hosted The Comedy Central Roast of Donald Trump. His first words to me: “You’re from EW, huh? Have you fired Ken Tucker yet? Have you guys gotten rid of him yet?” Then on Jan. 13, 2013, he launched a Twitter war with Tucker, in which he said “Dear Ken Tucker and Entertainment Weekly: Please tell me how I may earn a review as glowing as the one you gave Urkel,” and linked to Tucker’s "A" review of Family Matters from 1990. Tucker tweeted back, “Easy: Just be as funny as Urkel once was.” Though the glossy magazine gave MacFarlane a major cover story just two weeks before the Oscars—not to mention that Tucker has left the publication—that faux headline during the ceremony shows he’s still holding a grudge. RELATED: Ranking All 84 Best Picture Oscar Winners From Worst to Best 6. Who is Steve Battaglio? All of the fake headlines during that Captain Kirk segment were attributed to a writer named Steve Battaglio. No invention of MacFarlane’s feverish brain, Battaglio is actually the business editor at TV Guide Magazine, a publication for which MacFarlane seems to have greater affection than EW. TV Guide’s LA bureau chief Michael Schneider tweeted, “Seth MacFarlane picked @SteveBattaglio as the author of that nasty review as thanks - Steve was an early supporter of #FamilyGuy.” RELATED: 20 Best (and Worst) Oscar Speeches Ever 7. How Does Captain Kirk’s Appearance at the Oscars Fit Into or Disrupt J.J. Abrams’ Rebooted Star Trek Continuity? Along with the realization that this is the first time we’ve seen William Shatner in the captain’s chair since 1994’s Star Trek: Generations comes the sorry recognition that we have to refer to his version of the character as "Kirk Prime," since he fits into the old Trek continuity that was almost entirely erased by J.J. Abrams’ 2009 film. Unlike Chris Pine’s Kirk, Shatner’s didn’t lose his father at the moment of his birth but was raised in a loving two-parent family, meaning that he has so few psychological issues to unpack that he can risk time-traveling to 2013 just to prevent Seth MacFarlane from being deemed the all-time worst Oscar host. Wait…or maybe this means this version of the character has even more issues than Pine’s. Then again maybe by traveling back through time, Kirk Prime erased the alternate history of Abrams’ franchise, throwing the upcoming Star Trek Into Darkness into a third timeline—like Fringe! None of this addresses, though, why MacFarlane didn’t warn Kirk that he will be crushed by a bridge. That’s one do-over we really want to see. NEXT: Are the Malfoys now Oscar winners? Take our quiz! 8. Which barber-free Oscar winner/Malfoy relative is which? These three guys are Claudio Miranda (Best Cinematography, Life of Pi), Paul N.J. Ottosson (Best Sound Editing, Zero Dark Thirty), and Per Hallberg (Best Sound Editing, Skyfall), but not in that order in the photo above. Try to match them up, then find out which one is which in the answers at the bottom of this post. 9. Were the technical nominees playing musical chairs during the broadcast? It sure seemed that way, huh? Seats were designated along the sides of the Dolby Theatre in which to place the technical nominees (for Cinematography, Sound Mixing, Sound Editing, Makeup, Art Direction, Visual Effects, Costume Design, Film Editing) a couple minutes before the presentation of each category. That way, there wouldn’t be such a long delay as the winners march up to the stage. A good idea as a time-saving measure. Too bad this show was still 20 minutes longer than those in 2011 and 2012. RELATED: 15 Oscar-Winning Nude Scenes 10. Is there precedent for someone from the White House crashing Hollywood’s biggest night? GOPers were crying foul on Twitter after Michelle Obama read the winner of Best Picture via satellite from the White House. They should note, though, that this is not the first time someone from Washington has been involved. Ronald Reagan recorded an address for the 1981 Oscar ceremony, shortly after taking office. And in 2002 Laura Bush also taped a segment for the first Academy Awards after 9/11. What else about the Oscar ceremony left you scratching your head? Answers to the Long-Haired Winners Quiz: Oscar Victor on Left: Paul N. J. Ottosson, Sound Editor, Zero Dark Thirty Oscar Victor in Center: Per Hallberg, Co-Sound Editor, Skyfall Oscar Victor on Right: Claudio Miranda, Cinematographer, Life of Pi Follow Christian Blauvelt on Twitter @Ctblauvelt [Photo Credits: Kevin Winter/Getty Images (3); Robyn Beck/Getty Images; Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images] Oscars 2013 Special Coverage Oscars 2013 Best Dressed: PICS! • Anne Hathaway: Oscar’s Worst Dressed?• Seth MacFarlane’s Opening: How’d He Do?• Adele’s Performance Gets Mixed Reviews• 15 Oscar-Winning Nude Scenes• What Happened to Renee Zellweger's Face?• Oscars 2013: The Full Winners List• Why Kristen Stewart Was on Crutches
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Oscars 2013: Why Did the Telecast Run So Long?
February 25, 2013 2:23pm ESTSunday night's 85th Academy Awards clocked in at three hours and 35 minutes. While this was hardly the longest single Oscars ceremony — that distinction still belongs to 2002's epic four-hour and 20-minute telecast, which saw epic Gladiator awarded with Best Picture — the show's lag was undeniable to anyone hoping for a sprightly Monday morning at work. After all, Sunday's telecast long surpassed last year's tight three-hour and nine-minute runtime and 2011's three-hour and 16-minute showing, officially putting an end to any recent efforts to keep awards shows within a three-hour schedule. RELATED: Oscars 2013: 'Life of Pi' and 'Argo' By the Numbers Still, it's not immediately clear what was responsible for Oscar's long runtime. While host Seth MacFarlane's monologue passed the 15-minute mark, speeches were short and sweet. And there was nary a Lifetime achievement award to occupy the bulk of the ceremony. So who was the drawing out the 2013 Oscars ceremony? Turns out the biggest culprit of the night wasn't the Family Guy creator (who appeared to occupy our screens more than Quvenzhané Wallis occupied our hearts). Instead, the night's presenters accounted for a total of 59 minutes and 10 seconds of the Oscar ceremony, taking up 34 percent of the telecast. (Speeches, on the other hand, took up just 23 percent of the evening, while MacFarlane sat at 22 percent.) RELATED: Oscars 2013: Best and Worst Moments That's right — we could have enjoyed a much-shorter telecast had the Oscars cut off the banter that curiously remained in the script after Sunday's show began to run over. In fact, two of the longest presenters of the evening, Jack Nicholson and Michelle Obama — who took three minutes and 49 seconds to present Argo with Best Picture — even closed out the awards. But the Oscar for longest presenters of the evening belongs to the reunited Chicago cast, who, between two categories, spoke at the podium for five minutes and 12 seconds. (The shortest presenters? Melissa McCarthy and Paul Rudd, whose banter was so painful, it felt like it lasted far longer than just 40 seconds.) How did the rest of the evening's timing shake out? See some more vital stats below! MacFarlane's Total Time on Stage: 38 minutes, 21 seconds MacFarlane's Monologue Runtime: 17 minutes, 14 seconds MarFarlane's Non-Monologue Banter Runtime: 11 minutes, 7 seconds Total Runtime — Speeches: 40 minutes Longest Speech: 4 minutes, 14 seconds (Ben Affleck for Argo, Best Picture) Shortest Speech: 48 seconds (Jacqueline Durran for Anna Karenina, Costume Design) Average Length of Speech: 1 minute, 40 seconds Average Length of Presenter at Podium: 1 minute, 41 seconds Total Runtime — Montages: 15 minutes, 8 seconds RELATED: Oscars 2013: Should Seth MacFarlane Host Again? Total Runtime — Musical Performances at 2012 Oscars: 3 minutes, 42 seconds (Esperanza Spalding's "In Memoriam" tribute) Total Runtime — Musical Performances at 2013 Oscars: 21 minutes, 5 seconds Longest Performance: 3 minutes, 54 seconds (Adele, "Skyfall") Shortest Performance: 1 minute, 40 seconds (Norah Jones, "Everybody Needs a Best Friend") In Memoriam Runtime: 3 minutes, 21 seconds Barbra Streisand Performance Runtime: 3 minutes, 23 seconds Time Oscars Could Have Saved If They Had Combined Both: 3 minutes, 22 seconds Total Runtime — Bond Tribute: 6 minutes, 7 seconds Total Runtime — Musicals Tribute: 12 minutes, 7 seconds Length of 2013 Oscars without Musical Performances: 3 hours, 13 minutes Length of 2013 Oscars without Montages, Musical Performances, and MacFarlane's Stage Banter: 2 hours, 37 minutes Cuts That Would Have Allowed Oscars 2013 to End on Time: 3 minutes from monologue, 30 seconds from each speech and presenter, and 6 seconds from Seth's non-monologue banter [Image Credit: Matt Sayles/AP Images] Oscars 2013 Special Coverage Oscars 2013 Best Dressed: PICS! • Anne Hathaway: Oscar’s Worst Dressed?• Seth MacFarlane’s Opening: How’d He Do?• Adele’s Performance Gets Mixed Reviews• 15 Oscar-Winning Nude Scenes• What Happened to Renee Zellweger's Face?• Oscars 2013: The Full Winners List• Why Kristen Stewart Was on Crutches From Our Partners: 40 Most Revealing See-Through Red Carpet Looks (Vh1)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
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The Night the Oscars Fell Down: Why It Was One of the Most Boring Ceremonies in Years
February 25, 2013 2:40am ESTPoor Jennifer Lawrence, rushing up from the front row to grab her statue for Best Actress in a dress that looks like it won first prize in the Build a Wedding Dress Out of Toilet Paper contest. She fell down. Well, she actually slipped on the banana peel that we all planted there for Anne Hathaway in the hopes that America's most hated actress would take a tumble. But it was Jennifer who stumbled (Hugh Jackman got up to save her fall) and made a joke about how the tumble was the only reason for her standing ovation. It's sad that this was one of the most exciting moments at the 85th Annual Academy Awards. Yes, this year the Oscars were boring. Well, I don't know if "boring" is the right word. The ceremony is always kind of boring, right? There is the thrill of seeing the host's monologue and the first big Supporting Actor/Actress category. But, typically, that's only followed by the lull of the shorts and documentaries, and then the technical categories before, finally, the ceremony rewards the biggest categories of the night. In recent years, the onslaught of Oscar prognostication in publications and across the Internet created a race that is almost predetermined before the envelopes were opened. (Speaking of which, did we notice that Meryl Streep didn't seem to look at the contents of her envelope, instead decreeing Daniel Day-Lewis the Best Actor winner because she is Meryl F-ing Streep and she can just say so?) This year, the show just seemed more tedious, filled with missed opportunities, some unfortunate technical difficulties, and a muddled tone. The ceremony was something out of both a frat boy and a homosexual's fever dream. The frat boys had host Seth MacFarlane and his typical potty humor — his schtick included a song about boobs, jokes about pretty girls, comments about how he is decidedly not gay even though everything that has to do with musicals is gay, and edgy quips that could come off racist, sexist, homophobic, and anti-Semitic if you look at them in the wrong light. (After all, the only thing that Seth MacFarlane likes more than a funny voice is a Jew joke.) Then, well, you had all the gay stuff about musicals. And Barbra Streisand. And musicals. And gay people winning awards. But wait — that didn't happen because Tony Kushner and How to Survive a Plague were robbed. Well, at least the gays just got the musicals! RELATED: Seth MacFarlane’s Monologue: What’d You Think? The theme this year had something to do with movie musicals, which could have been a great boon for the production value of the show. Given that the ceremony was produced by Craig Zadan and Neil Meron, the unambiguously gay duo that specialize in bringing Broadway to the screen, it was the perfect opportunity. Yet the musical salute seemed to be more of a tribute to their musical Chicago than musicals in general. Did we really need to stare into Renée Zellweger's disappearing eye slits as the cast of Chicago reunited on stage? Plus, we were forced to be privy to a paltry selection of musicals in the tribute itself — only Chicago, Dreamgirls, and a medley from Les Miserables that would make you claw your own ears off were highlighted during the ceremony. Nothing from Best Picture musicals like Gigi, West Side Story, My Fair Lady, or even The Sound of Music? (Instead, the latter Best Picture winner was referenced merely in a Von Trapp Nazi joke.) There is a rich cinematic history of musicals, so where are all the old production numbers that might get people who love Glee logging onto Netflix to watch Sweet Charity? They were in the same place as Zellweger's old face, apparently. While Shirley Bassey singing "Goldfinger" was one of the highlights of the show, it's difficult to determine just how her package was a tribute to the songs of James Bond. A montage, a few strings from "Live and Let Die," and Bassey's "Goldfinger" — couldn't we have crammed a few more songs in there? Where was Tina Turner, Madonna, Sheryl Crowe, and Duran Duran? 007's case would have been much stronger if the ceremony had capped the tribute off with Adele's "Skyfall," which was inexplicably placed later in the ceremony. (And I couldn't have been the only one left wondering why the Oscars only featured three out of the five Best Original Song entries.) RELATED: Barbra Streisand at the Oscars: Sigh... Adele's number later ("Skyfall" from Skyfall, of course) was well done, though her nerves — or perhaps sound issues — led to mixed feelings surrounding her comeback. Barbra Streisand, on the other hand, killed her version of "The Way We Were" to cap the In Memoriam montage. But the sound problems only returned for MacFarlane and Kristin Chenoweth's amusing "Let's Hear it for the Losers" soft shoe to end the night. The musical numbers weren't the only thing plagued with problems during the Oscars. The banter and gags throughout the show fell on unamused ears. The usually always amazing Paul Rudd and Melissa McCarthy bombed with a gag about voice work when presenting Best Animated Feature. And things only got worse: Samuel L. Jackson and Robert Downey Jr. did a confusing bit surrounding a teleprompter argument before awarding Best Cinematography. Was it a joke? Or were they really arguing? Whatever the case, it was awful. And it's just best not to talk about Kristen Stewart's complete inability to annunciate, right? What's strange, though, is the awards show managed to be the most boring Oscars with the most shocking wins. If you actually picked Christoph Waltz for Best Supporting Actor in your Oscar Pool, then you are a better man than I am. The same goes for Ang Lee, who took home Best Director. Even Lawrence lurched toward victory despite talk that Emmanuelle Riva was poised to steal Oscar gold. The awards this year weren't as cut and dried as they often are (we even had a shocking and exciting tie, but it was for Sound Editing, a category no one can adequately describe not to mention care about), so 2013's ceremony did offer some suspense. RELATED: Oscars 2013: See the Winners Here! But not enough to make up for the lack thereof in the night's speeches. When Daniel Day-Lewis becomes known as 2013's class clown, you know the Oscars are in bad shape. There were no animated speeches, no expletive-ridden speeches, and no embarrassing speeches. Anne Hathaway wasn't needy enough, Quentin Tarantino wasn't crazy enough, and Lawrence, maybe thrown off by her bobble, was far more flustered and less winning that we've become used to this awards season. The most remarkable thing about the winners is how they were all trying to outdo Saruman from The Lord of the Rings with their identical long, white hair. Still, Ben Affleck managed to be winning, bringing himself close to tears when Argo won for Best Picture. (The best revenge for a Gigli joke from MacFarlane.) Speaking of Best Pictures, Michelle Obama shocked us all by appearing on a screen to read the winner and the Oscars said, "Screw you, Golden Globes, for thinking you're so cool that you have Bill Clinton." Yes, there were plenty of surprises and, I'm sure, plenty of moments that will become iconic, but for a show that was more than 30 minutes too long and much longer than most in recent memory, there didn't seem to be that much return on the investment of our time. It was so long, but, for what? All that Captain Kirk stuff at the beginning? All those extraneous musical numbers that seemed more poised to sell Blu-rays than actually educate the public? When the big highlight is Jennifer Lawrence almost embarrassing herself (as if that's possible), you know Oscar has plenty to work on before 2014. Follow Brian Moylan on Twitter @BrianJMoylan [Photo Credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images] Oscars 2013 Special Coverage Oscars 2013 Best Dressed: PICS! • Anne Hathaway: Oscar’s Worst Dressed?• Seth MacFarlane’s Opening: How’d He Do?• Adele’s Performance Gets Mixed Reviews• 15 Oscar-Winning Nude Scenes• What Happened to Renee Zellweger's Face?• Oscars 2013: The Full Winners List• The Winner, According to You From Our Partners:40 Most Revealing See-Through Red Carpet Looks (Vh1)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
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Oscars: Barbra Streisand Sings 'The Way We Were', And We All Sigh Wistfully
February 24, 2013 11:30pm ESTWhile there is always something to be said about invention, progress, the new, we are also sure to find ourselves, time and time again, reveling in our pasts. Our memories. The way we were. Okay, that was kind of a hokey introduction, but I’m all swept up in Barbra Streisand’s chilling reunion with her old Oscar winning number, “The Way We Were.” At the 85th Annual Academy Awards, the one-named sensation Barbra — heroine to just about every subculture you can think of — paid tribute to a deceased icon in the Hollywood music business, Marvin Hamlisch. Closing out the “In Memorium” segment of the Oscars was a particular homage to Hamlisch, esteemed composer and conductor responsible for the scores of classic films dating from the 1960s straight through 2009 (his final movie being Steven Soderbergh’s The Informant!). RELATED: Shirley Bassey Sings 'Goldfinger' at the Oscars Streisand took the stage to speak earnestly on her old collaborator Hamlisch, treating the world to a tearful, shiver-inducing rendition of the Oscar-winning title song from the 1973 romance The Way We Were. Proving duly that not an inkling of talent has strayed from her superhuman pipes since she first brought the song to life 40 years back, Streisand managed to make us all delve back upon our own memories of times gone by. Whatever they may be — the golden years of our innocent youths, old flames flickered out, that time we got those really good pancakes from the diner on 23rd Street — they crept right up on us when Streisand belted out the soothing yet haunting refrain of “The Way We Were.” RELATED: Seth MacFarlane's Opening Monologue: What Did You Think? And in a night devoted entirely to Hollywood music, we find ourselves faced with a true highlight. In company as impressive as Adele, Shirley Bassey, Jennifer Hudson, and Catherine Zeta-Jones, Streisand’s is quite possibly the best performance of the night. And now to the VHS shelves to watch The Way We Were, for the thirtieth time... [Photo Credit: Mark Davis/WireImage] Oscars 2013 Special Coverage Oscars 2013 Red Carpet Arrivals: PICS! • Anne Hathaway: Oscar’s Worst Dressed?• 15 Oscar-Winning Nude Scenes• Seth MacFarlane’s Opening: How’d He Do?• Oscar's Problem With Pretty Boys• What Happened to Renee Zellweger's Face?• Oscars 2013: The Full Winners List• The Winner, According to You From Our Partners:40 Most Revealing See-Through Red Carpet Looks (Vh1)33 Child Stars: Where Are They Now? (Celebuzz)
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Kristen Stewart, 'Twilight' Named 'Worst' By Razzies — See All the Losers
February 24, 2013 11:39am ESTMovie-viewing recommendations I have for the voting committee of The Golden Raspberry Awards if they really think The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 is the worst movie of the year: the tone deaf Joyful Noise; John Cuasck's awful thriller The Raven; the rom-com void of love, This Means War; heck, Pixar's Brave is near unwatchable. At least Breaking Dawn has camp. As with tradition, The Golden Raspberry Awards aka The Razzies have taken to the stage on Oscar morning to announce their picks for the Worst movies, actors, and actresses of the year and once again, they've set Twilight in their shaming crosshairs. The final entry of the supernatural romance franchise — easily the pinnacle of the entire series — earned Twilight its first Worst Picture win, after years of nominations and wins in acting categories. Overall, the movie earned seven nominations, with Adam Sandler and Rihanna sneaking in to spice things up. RELATED: Oscars: What Should Win Best Picture? — POLL Check out the full list of nominations and winners below. Then check out some of the above films and ask yourself (if you survive the experience): did The Razzies really get it right? Worst PictureBattleshipThe Oogieloves in Big Balloon AdventureThat’s My BoyA Thousand WordsThe Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II Worst DirectorSean Anders – That’s My BoyPeter Berg – BattleshipBill Condon – The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II Tyler Perry – Good Deeds / Madea’s Witness ProtectionJohn Putch – Atlas Shrugged: Part II Worst Actress Katherine Heigl – One for the Money Milla Jovovich – Resident Evil: Retribution Tyler Perry – Madea’s Witness Protection Kristen Stewart – The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II / Snow White and the Huntsman Barbra Streisand – The Guilt Trip Worst ActorNicolas Cage – Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance / Seeking JusticeEddie Murphy – A Thousand WordsRobert Pattinson – The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part IITyler Perry – Alex Cross / Good DeedsAdam Sandler – That’s My Boy Worst Supporting ActressJessica Biel – Playing For Keeps / Total RecallBrooklyn Decker – Battleship / What to Expect When You’re ExpectingAshley Greene – The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part IIJennifer Lopez – What to Expect When You’re ExpectingRihanna – Battleship RELATED: 15 Oscar-Winning Nude Scenes Worst Supporting Actor David Hasselhoff – Pirannha 3-DD Taylor Lautner – The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part IILiam Neeson – Battleship / Wrath of the Titans Nick Swardson – That’s My Boy Vanilla Ice – That’s My Boy Worst Screen Ensemble BattleshipThe Oogieloves in Big Balloon AdventureThat’s My BoyThe Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part IIMadea’s Witness Protection Worst Screenplay Atlas Shrugged Part II Battleship That’s My Boy A Thousand Words The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II Worst Remake, Rip-Off, or Sequel Ghost Rider 2: Spirit of Vengeance Pirannha 3-DD Red Dawn The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II Madea’s Witness Protection Worst Screen Couple Any two cast members from Jersey Shore in The Three Stooges Mackenzie Foy and Taylor Lautner in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part II Tyler Perry and his drag in Madea’s Witness Protection Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg, Leighton Meester, or Susan Sarandon in That’s My Boy Oscars 2013 Special Coverage 15 Most Iconic Red Carpet Dresses • We Predict the Winners: Do You Agree?• 15 Oscar-Winning Nude Scenes• The Worst Best Picture Winner Ever• Oscar's Problem With Pretty Boys• Why Stars Should Fear Seth MacFarlane• 10 TV Stars You Never Knew Won Oscars• The Winner, According to You
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Oscars: Shirley Bassey to Perform at Academy Awards' James Bond Tribute
February 08, 2013 12:04pm ESTThe Oscars just got a lot more lung power. Producers Craig Zadan and Neil Meron have announced that legendary Goldfinger vocalist Dame Shirley Bassey will appear at the Academy Awards ceremony Feb. 24, as a part of a tribute to the 50th anniversary of the James Bond film franchise that was first announced back in January. Adele had already been confirmed to sing the nominated title-song for Skyfall as part of the tribute, along with a montage honoring the series, and a rumored, though far from likely, on-stage reunion of some or all of the actors who’ve previously donned the tux as 007. RELATED: How James Bond Will Get His Oscar Due, Finally “We are thrilled to welcome the legendary Dame Shirley Bassey to our Oscar show,” said Zadan and Meron. “Her association with film music is world renowned and we are proud that she will be making her first Oscar appearance on our telecast.” It's not clear if Bassey will be singing or just presenting, but if she does sing, she joins an impressive roster of vocal talent at the 85-annual event, including Barbra Streisand, Norah Jones, and, of course, Adele. Other than Monty Norman, who created the strummy electric guitar riff that became the James Bond theme song, or John Barry, who composed most of the movie scores in the series, arguably no one has had a bigger impact on the sound of the 007 franchise than Shirley Bassey. RELATED: Adele's Post-Baby Reutrn: a 'Skyfall' Oscar Performance Her renditions of "Goldfinger" — sorry, "Goooold-FINGAH!" — "Diamonds Are Forever," and "Moonraker," are the bullion standard of Bond movie theme songs. Her vocals, crisply enunciated and brassily powerhouse, are as much a part of Bond as vodka martinis and Aston Martins. It's hard to listen to Adele's recent recording of "Skyfall" and not hear a little bit of a Bassey imitation at work. And the 76-year-old Welsh singer's still got it. Check out her performance of "Diamonds Are Forever" at the Queen's Diamond Jubilee Concert this past June: Follow Christian Blauvelt on Twitter @Ctblauvelt [Photo Credit: WENN] From Our Partners: Young Han Solo Movie: Dave Franco to Star? (Moviefone) Justin Bieber Drug and Cheating Rumors?! (Vh1)
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'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Brandi vs. Adrienne, Round Infinity
February 05, 2013 10:45am ESTThere is a strange connection between the Real Slot Machines of Desperation Canyon and Las Vegas. It's like Sin City is their rollicking id, where they often go (and where some make their money) and where all sorts of crazy action happens. It's not hookers and blow and gambling and strippers and magic shows like it is for everyone else, but there is some sort of sorcery at work when the ladies take the trip. They are all transformed into something else — fighting wildebeests scratching their hooves at the desert floor looking to unearth each other's secrets. What is certain is that what happens in Vegas never stays in Vegas. The ostensible reason for the trip to Vegas was so that Brandi could teach everyone how to be a stripper to empower them. This makes, um, total sense, I guess? I don't know. If you want to learn how to pole dance, just learn how to pole dance. Do we really need the excuse that it is somehow going to solve all the problems in your life? I don't think so. It's probably not. But it is a fun reason to get drunk with all of your girlfriends. Of course some of the ladies were better at it than others. St. Camille of Grammer, patron saint of cable television dance shows, didn't know how to pole dance, but she knows how to move that lean, lithe body of hers. She hovered around that pole shaking like a wraith or an angel. Definitely an angel. We could see her halo, halo, halo-oooo, as Beyoncé would sing. Lisa Vanderpump said she didn't want to pole dance, but, supporting her friend Brandi, she gamely climbed up there and turned it into a comedy routine. Isn't that just a metaphor for Lisa Vanderpump's life? Isn't that just how she lives from day to day, taking the unpleasants and turning them into little laughs? I guess it's easy when you sleep on a bed of diamonds at night. Yolanda Bananas Foster was deftly adroit, as a woman who mostly cages herself in her home adhering to a staunch workout routine would be. Kyle Richards, as always, made it all about her. She can't dance or work the pole, but she laughed and cackled and yelled and put on a good performance just like her mother taught her in those stuffy audition rooms back when she was still in pig tails. OH! Kyle would have looked so good on that pole in pig tails. The worst, of course, was Fetch (aka Marisa Zanuck), who is never going to happen. She whined and complained about doing it because, yes, that is what makes good TV. God, Fetch is never going to happen. Are we really going to be burdened with her face, which looks like the inside of one of Yolanda's lemons, for the rest of the season? The one good thing that Fetch did last night was try to clean a red wine stain out of her dioley skirt using white wine, because it's a trick she saw Barbra Streisand do at a party once. Really? She crazy! Does she think that Barbra's talons have touched a single piece of laundry since she moved out of Brooklyn all those years ago? No! The worst part is, they didn't even show us if it worked or not, because if it did I was totally going to steal it and tell people that I saw Barbra Streisand do it at a party once and then I would seem so cool and smart and awesome. Now I'm just going to pick on Fetch for doing it. I guess we need to mention Adrienne, the Queen of the Maloofs (a race of mole people that live under the mountain). She has just been grasping for relevancy the past few weeks while she's licked her wounds, and she didn't want to interact with anyone because they all found out that she (allegedly, possibly, according to the Internet, which is never right about anything except when it is right about some things) gave birth to her children using a surrogate. Either that or she is DB Cooper. Her big secret is one of those two things. Adrienne needed something to do, and decided on designing a handbag line to go along with her ever-so-successful shoe line (which you can purchase at 65% off on the Internet). She had some people at the California Accessory Council and Teen Runaway Shelter mock up a logo for her. All the bags are going to have her name on them, but the logo is going to be all the letters of her name jumbled up like they have floated to the top of a bowl of alphabet soup and just congealed there. When you look at the purse you think it's made by LERENNIOFOAMAD. That's not very good branding. And if that weren't enough, then she had to take her husband, Paulo the Chimp, to get laser hair removal on his back. That is a really mean thing to do to a chimp. Do you know what a hairless chimp looks like? Macaulay Culkin, that's what. No one wants that. But know who I do want? Jjennifferr Holliddayy, the technician who was brandishing the laser that would singe off all of Paulo's estimable back hair. First of all there are far too many consonants in her name. Wheel of Fortune never wants her to be famous because she would cost them too much money if she was the answer to a puzzle. Also, I believe that she was a Bulgarian pop singer that, after too much inexpensive plastic surgery in Georgia (the country, not the home of Lenethia Leakes) she was deported to America to live a life of shame. At least she got her aesthetician's degree and is now serving the world by ridding chimps of their fur. That is very noble of her. Now I guess it's time we get to last night's main event. I guess it's appropriate that all the biggest fights in the boxing world happen in Vegas because, well, this was a humdinger. You knew it was going to be bad when Yolanda Bananas Foster, an agorophobic who claims to not like drunk women, was drinking tequila and Fetch, who had already poured red and white wine all over her skirt at Barbra Streisand's insistence, was essentially absent from dinner. Oh, and Brandi had on this hot silver dress that was just short enough to be sexy but not so short that we could see her halo, halo, halo-ooooo and it was just sparkly and totally wonderful. I have a theory that whenever Brandi looks the best is when she gets in the worst fights. Watch for it to happen. RELATED: 'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: Brandi Glanville Is a Stripper OK, here is how it went down: everyone was talking about Kim Richards, and how they know that her nose is a new nose from some guy they know she knows knows noses. Then, suddenly, St. Camille turned the discussion to Adrienne which, well, that was a stupid move. As my friends would say, "Why you gotta bring up old shit?" How do we accurately describe this fight? Camille was angry, I don't know about what initially. But she wanted to talk about Adrienne. So she did. Then Brandi, for the millionth time, detailed that she was uncomfortable when Adrienne approached her and said she was going after Lisa at the reunion and was trying to recruit her. Apparently Camille was somehow involved in this too, and Brandi told everyone that Camille knew about the sabotage plot. Camille got all pissed off that Brandi was telling everyone, especially Lisa, that she know about the plot and didn't do anything. She got up from the table and said, "I can handle this, but I won't stand for it!" What a statement. That's amazing. She was basically saying, "I could take you down if you want to, but this is too tawdry for me to sit and listen to." Instead of talking about what happened and who said what, we should talk about the winners and losers, maybe? Who was right and who was wrong? I think that's easier. OK, so Brandi, I think, came out a loser. Yes, I am #TeamBrandi all the way, and I think that Adrienne is the worst kind of rich person for using her money and lawyers to intimidate Brandi by "suing her." Oh wait, what's this? I just got hand delivered a message. "Dear Mr. Moylan. It has just come to my attention that you are besmirching the name of my client, HRH Adrienne, the Queen of the Maloofs (a race of mole people that live under the mountain), in a public sphere. If you do not cease and desist not only your discussion of her, her family, her friends, her associates, and anyone that might ever come in contact with her in this world or any other in your public position, then there will be a lawsuit. Also, you should probably just shut down this here recap right now, because it will be admissable in a court of law and a judge will hate it. Sincerely, Dirk Jacobini, Attorney at Law." RELATED: 'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills': Everyone Yells at Everyone Screw that. I'm going to talk as much trash about Adrienne as I want. She's wrong to pursue this nonsense with Brandi when Brandi was speaking the truth. But what makes Brandi a loser is she went on the "Adrienne only owns 2% of the Palms" kick. Yeah. So what, Brandi? Not to be a jerk, but you own 100% of Jack Squat Industries. Adrienne's stake in a billion-dollar business is still $10 million. How much did you get for your book deal? The other loser was Camille Grammer, who then went after Lisa with her, "You don't own SUR," line which, I think we can all agree is patently false. Lisa only owns 51% of that Sexy Unique Restaurant, but come on, that's basically owning it. Camille was trying to make a point. I get it, but she failed. I think that Kyle and Camille were right to say that Adrienne wasn't there and she couldn't defend herself and that's why they were sticking up for her. That's cool, I get that, but Kyle is not helping her reputation as a shit stirrer. She's always trying to be the peace keeper and make sure everyone is getting along, but as soon as the gloves come on, she's there in the corner fighting an argument. I would like to say Yolanda Bananas Foster was a loser, for shushing our St. Camille (which is something you should never do), but she had a point. This was the third time this fight had gone round and round, and the third dinner that it had ruined, and we're all just getting a little bit sick of it, aren't we? Don't we want there to be some kind of resolution or movement? Oh, and Yolanda got to go home early in a private jet while everyone else had to sit around and stew in their own juices (Housewife juices smell like white wine and broken endorsement deals). See ya later, suckers! However, I think that Yolanda loses existentially, because she has no idea what show she is on. This is a battle royale where women get drink and yell at dinner. That's sort of like planning a trip to the beach and then complaining that there is too much sand. If you don't want the sand, get off the damn beach. Lisa Vanderpump was also a winner here, because this whole fight started about her but somehow migrated around the table and encompassed everyone but her. The one kernel of truth that Camille placed out there — the thing that started this whole row — was that Adrienne started going after Lisa because of two things: 1. Adrienne was mad that Lisa's daughter Pandora had her Vegas bachelorette party at a hotel other than the Palms and 2. Adrienne was mad that Lisa called her shoe "The Maloof Hoof." OK, those are the two dumbest reasons ever. The first one, I have said before, will go down in history as the dumbest gripe on any Housewives show ever. Who cares where Pandora went? It was her decision, not her mother's. People don't blame my mother for my public urination arrest, so no one should blame Pandy's mom for her bachelorette party. The second reason was the real problem. No one in this universe (and by that I mean the Real Housewives universe, which is strange and separate from our own) has a sense of humor. Well, most of them don't. Brandi does and Lisa sure does and when they say something like that, it is a joke. Adrienne can not take a joke. That is what this whole season is essentially about: one grown woman who can't take another woman's clever pun about her shoe. The reason they aren't selling has nothing to do with what Lisa called them on the show. They're not selling because they're bland and ugly and overpriced (even 65% off is too much). In fact, calling them the "Maloof Hoof" was the best bit of branding anyone did for Adrienne. She should pay Lisa for that. The fight petered out and just ended for some reason. I'm not sure why. Maybe Yolanda squashed it with her lemon-scented lips. The real take-away from the end of the episode was that we saw Kyle and Lisa face off, telling their sides of the story. This was the real fight. This was the real angle that the show is taking, these two Titans trying to steal the world from each other. That is what this season wants us to take away from it. If their relationship ruptures, well, it will be an awful horrible split. A rift that will engulf Jill and Bethenny, Kim and Nene, Tamra and Vicki and all the rest. Like an explosion. RELATED: 'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Recap: The Phony Lawsuit of Brandi Glanville Finally, we have to talk about Kim. Oh yes, my favorite Kim Richards got a new nose installed last night. I'm not going to get into all that drama with her addiction and taking pain pills, because that was just a red herring. She told us she was going to try to not take any pain pills (well, at least anything stronger than an Advil), and I have to believe her. I'm not a family member who has been screwed over repeatedly by her lying and drug abuse so it's easy for me, but, there it is. I'm trusting her. As for her call with Kyle, it was extremely fraught. Kim called Kyle while she was in Las Vegas and said, "I'm thinking of getting a nose job today." What? OK, Kim. You do not need your sister's permission, but you also didn't need to call her up on the day you were doing it and ask for it. Here's the thing. Kim thought that she needed Kyle's permission — that's why she called and asked, and didn't just call and tell her. I think Kyle has made Kim think that Kim needs her permission for everything, and now Kim is getting over that. When Kyle talks about how this is the "state of our relationship" it means that Kim is growing up, growing away from Kyle, and becoming her own, unique, strong person. But Kim needed a nose job like Yolanda needs another lemon tree. She even said it herself, that God made her and she's perfect but he wouldn't mind her changing her nose so much because when he made her it was the end of the day and he wasn't really paying attention and used some spare parts anyway. But Kim needed something. She knew she needed someone who knows why she knows someone that knows noses. She knew that she needed to make herself better inside and out. She needed some physical manifestation of her inner transformation. Get on it, girl. And when the doctor was digging around in there he found that her septum was deviated, which probably means that she could now get her health insurance to cover the cost. You go Kim. But the sad part came when she was lying in the hospital, coming out of the aenesthesia. The show's producers love these moments, because the women always say ridiculous things and can't help but tell the truth. Kim said some remarkable things. She lied there in her hospital gown and mumbled that she wished her sister were there. She mumbled that she wished that one of her four children were there. But there was no one. She was all alone, fighting through the fog on her own. So many people have come and gone, the husbands, the lovers, the family, that rock she painted a face on and named Ken and called her boyfriend. They've all gone, sniffed out like the moon falling behind a dark, dank cloud. Suddenly, in that way only medication can do, she isn't in the world anymore. She is both awake and asleep and she's in her trailer on the Disney lot and it's the last day of a movie shoot. She's young again, and beautiful. Her hair is teased high and she's wearing bright makeup because it was the '80s and that was the style. She looks down at her vanity and sees the crimping iron and then she looks up at the mirror and sees her old nose and all the people standing behind her. The crew mostly, but fans all. And staff. They're clamoring for her. "Sign this for me please, Kim?" "It was so great working with you!" "What is our next project going to be?" "You better hurry up or you're going to be late for your first date with this hot new actor, I think his name is Jimmy Depp." "Oh, Kim this has been the best two months of my life." She thanks them all and signs them and waives. She waves and makes her way through the scrum and out the door into the sun which is so bright it's like an operating lamp blaring down at her eyes. Even when she closes them, she can still see the indistinct brightness shining down into her face, over the clean, expansive lines of the sound studio. "Kim! Kim! Kim!" all the onlookers shout at her. "Kim! Kim!" She turns around and waves at them, but the sun is still in her eyes. She can't see them anymore, but she can hear the voices, hear them getting fainter and fainter as they recede. "Bye everyone," she says. "Don't forget. I love you. Will you love me too? Love me forever and I'll remember. Don't forget. Don't forget. Don't forget," she says to all the disembodied dream people. "Don't forget me," she says out loud. You Might Also Like: Biden? Ford? Surprisingly Hot Young Pics of Politicians Who Wore This Crazy Hat? Stars Who Changed Their Look After Love
