The Real Cancun Review

Why bother with scripted material? In The Real Cancun camera crews follow 16 college kids for eight days of spring break debauchery in Cancun Mexico and record every drunken sexual and shirt-lifting moment. In true The Real World fashion casting producers went out of their way to select a diverse and uninhibited bunch that would beget enough clashes and hookups to tantalize moviegoers for 97 minutes. The ensemble includes among others strictly platonic buds Heidi and David non-drinker Alan Texas Tech party twins Roxanne and Nicole the already hitched Sarah and male slut Jeremy. Add lots of alcohol to the mix and things get interesting. The gang of drunken teens eventually peer-pressures Alan into drinking and we get to witness his life spiral out of control: “I wanna see hooties!” the former square peg hollers after his first shot of tequila. That’s about as deep as it gets folks but it’s doubtful anyone going to see The Real Cancun is expecting anything meaningful. Moviegoers will at least walk away from this film with two invaluable lessons: Men will discover that head-game playing women long to be pursued by virile members of the opposite sex; women come to the realization that all men really want is to get laid.
With the exception of a few players The Real Cancun cast is a pretty likeable one. One of the most memorable is Wisconsin native Laura. This kewpie thinks she has met the man of her dreams in sexpot Jeremy. But barely a day after they hook up this insensitive guy is already moving on to his next target–with Laura in the same room. You’ll love how she spends the rest of the trip blatantly sabotaging his potential trysts as best she can. There’s also Sky who spends several days teasing Paul into a sexual tizzy only to leave him hanging. When Paul eventually stumbles into a more receptive girl’s bed he finds himself face to face with the Wrath of Sky. Duh–doesn’t he get that she would have given it up had he pursued her just one more day? But with 16 teens to document it would be impossible to relate to so many different spring break experiences and some inevitably fall by the wayside. Amber Brittany and Fletch for example were either forgotten about or left on the cutting room floor. Others like Miami model Casey are simply too flaky to care about.
Helmer Rick De Oliviera previously served as executive producer on a couple of MTV series–and it shows with this directorial debut. The movie plays out like a truncated season of The Real World complete with enthusiastic introductions fights hook-ups and sad good-byes. The difference is the film is filled with R-rated bonuses including a wet T-shirt contest some grainy nighttime surveillance footage of teens bumping and grinding away and other things they can’t get away with on cable TV. Here’s an afterthought: wouldn’t it be cool if the producers brought the kids back for a reunion special so we could find out who left Cancun with crabs? The Real Cancun of course doesn’t deal with the downside of Spring Break or its repercussions. But if you let yourself be immersed in its irrelevance it actually has some enticing moments which to some moviegoers might be the nipple-pierced twins’ incestuous striptease. Actually one of the funniest moments is from an outtake in which Heidi calls her mom to tell her rapper Snoop Dogg is staying at their beachfront villa. “A loose dog?” mom shoots back proving yet again that parents just don’t understand.