Good tidings, good cheer, good will towards men… Christmas has a lot of positives attached to it. A lot of noble qualities, charitable endeavors, attitudes of self-betterment. Christmas is generally when people set aside their vices to opt for a more giving, warm, and down-to-Earth outlook on life. But it’s also a time for proving that you are way better than your stupid neighbors.
Yes, the true meaning behind the Christmas season is showmanship: amping up your roof, lawn, and living room with as many elaborate holiday decorations as possible to put all surrounding heathens to shame. Christmas movies throughout the decades have shown us some of the most outlandish pieces of seasonal tribute imaginable — dancing Santas, functioning sleighs, endangered breeds of Evergreen trees. All perfect fodder for channeling the noel spirit… despite demanding a few of those paychecks you meant to spend on things like food and your daughter’s college.
But grossly irresponsible spending habits aside, it is unavoidable that we all conform to the competition year after year. The mission to outdo our friends, relatives, and the strangers we avoid whilst walking our dogs in the realm of Christmas decorations. So, for those of you willing to own up to this inevitability, we gift to you some of Hollywood’s greatest examples of over-the-top, unreasonably expensive, not-even-remotely-worth-it items for your own winter wonderland.
Just Friends
In this 2005 romantic comedy, hotshot something-or-other Ryan Reynolds returns to his suburban Jersey hometown to reconnect with his old love Amy Smart, whose father (Barry Flatman) just happens to be diametrically obsessed with decorating his house for Christmas.
Animatronic Santa Claus: $838
Reindeer (3): $2,397 ($799 each)
Cypress trees (5): $2,675.80 ($535.16 each)
Decorative candy canes (6): $119.94 ($19.99 each)
Multicolored Christmas lights (thousands): At least $1,360 ($34 per set of 25 lights)
Grand total: $7,390.74
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
The holiday festivities of National Lampoon’s Griswold clan sees lovable father Clark vying to give his family the greatest Christmas imaginable, complete with fancy decorations and promise of a swimming pool for the warmer part of the year (which, in Chicago, is that one weekend in July).
Life-size Santa Claus: $185.49
Reindeer (3): $2,397 ($799 each)
Multicolored Christmas lights (thousands): At least $1,360 ($34 per set of 25 lights)
Swimming pool: $23,424.79 (Granted this is not a Christmas decoration, but it’s where Clark was allotting most of his income during the holiday season)
Grand total: $27,367.28
Christmas with the Kranks
I’m just going to cut to the chase on this one. Stars Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis actually reveal in the movie that they spent $6,132 on their previous Christmas. So we’re just going to go with that.
Grand total: $6,132
Home Alone
Of course, not all lavish cinematic Christmases involve the adornment of roofs and lawns with lights and trees. Some families, the McCallisters for instance, instead opt for exciting vacations… and an unparalleled home security system.
Flight from Chicago to Paris (2 adults, 3 children): $4,991
BOOBY TRAPS
Sharp Christmas ornaments (14): $41.65 ($5.95 per set of 2 ornaments)
Toy race cars (approximately 100): Approximately $51.03 ($5.67 per set of 12 cars)
Nail: $10.99 (for a good one!)
Bucket of paint/string (2): $123.70 ($61.60 per bucket of paint, $0.05 per 1/4″ of rope)
Hedgeclippers: $29.98
BB Gun: $24.99
Die Hard
When you’re trying to blow up a city on Christmas, you always need to keep in mind… actually, no. Let’s not do this one. Merry Christmas, everybody.
[Photo Credit: Columbia Pictures; New Line Cinema; Warner Bros]
More:
What Your Favorite Christmas Movie Says About You
The Best and Worst of the 86th Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
Secret Santa: What If Your Favorite TV Characters Swapped Presents?
Hollywood.com’s Holiday Movie Guide: Best of the Season!