5 Old Testament Characters Who Need Their Own Epic Film


A little while back the official trailer for Darren Aronofsky’s biblical epic Noah was offically released, and it became clear almost immediately that the movie is going to be a total game-changer. If our prediction proves true, it could send a message to Hollowood executives that people love a really good biblical re-telling. Whatever your beliefs, you have to admit that the Bible — at the very least — is a masterful text, a work of literature with some of the most compelling characters and stories ever to be written. Here are a few characters who we’d love to see get a reimagining through the eyes of a talented director.


Starring Kerry Washington, and directed by Quentin Tarantino. With Jamie Foxx as Adam. That is all.

Cane & Abel

Interestingly enough, Will Smith was rumored to have a Cane and Abel/vampire movie in the works a while back. We vote “nay” on that idea, but still think the story of the world’s first murder — between brothers, no less — could make for an excellent film. And if we wanted to get really weird, we’d nominate Wes Anderson to direct; he knows how to take a super-awkward family story and bring it to life.


His entire family killed, all of his wealth taken away, and a body covered in boils and destroyed by illness? All just because God can do whatever He wants? Actually, this one might be better in French.


Floods, plagues, fire, and brimstone: the wrath of God takes many forms in the Old Testament. But in the book of Isaiah, God is especially pissed off and the prophet Isaiah has to deal with it. And since we’re throwing ideas out here, a film based on the story as it’s told in Anne Carson’s poem The Book of Isaiah? Now that would be epic!