The announcement of the 2002 Golden Globe nominations may have brought welcome early holiday gifts for some of showbiz’s top stars, but for others it was akin to receiving a lump of coal in their stockings. Let’s take a look at some of the film and TV luminaries who–without prejudice toward those who did get the nod–may feel like they got the Golden Shaft:
Ali and Michael Mann: Director Michael Mann‘s Ali hasn’t even been released yet, and it’s already suffered an awards season TKO by being shut out of the Golden Globes. Although it once seemed a shoo-in, The Insider director’s take on The Greatest isn’t all that great, according to the voters. Thankfully for the filmmakers and the studio backing it, voters at least found Will Smith‘s pretty performance to float like a butterfly and sting like a bee.
The Majestic: It remains to be seen if moviegoing audiences will embrace this simple fable–yes, yes, it’s Capra-esque–as wholeheartedly as they have writer/director Frank Darabont‘s two previous efforts, The Shawshank Redemption and The Green Mile, which are beloved despite the flaws that turned up many critics’ noses. So maybe consistently shafted Jim Carrey will get his revenge with residual checks if The Majestic goes on to air on the TBS Superstation as often as Shawshank does.
Vanilla Sky, et. al: OK, so this film may not be for everyone, and acclaimed writer/director Cameron Crowe certainly lost originality points for originality by not hewing far at all from the original Spanish film that inspired it, but he and former Jerry Maguire cohort Tom Cruise certainly went in thinking they had at least a shot at some awards nods. Cruise may feel especially annoyed in the face of his ex-wife Nicole Kidman‘s double-nom good fortune (maybe there’s some bad mojo afoot: they both appeared on last year’s show, separately, just days before the announcement of their split). Still, feeling most shafted must be Paramount Pictures, who bet heavily on this film to be its primary Oscar thoroughbred.
Sean Penn: It seemed like a natural. Take one of the edgiest, most underrated actors in Hollywood, plug him into a mass-appealing Rain Man-esque role (against a devastatingly cute kid, no less) in the upcoming I Am Sam, add Michelle Pfeiffer and Beatles covers and ta-da! Instant awards nomination, right? Oh well, maybe the Hollywood Foreign Press Association watched Penn‘s guest stints on Friends.
Naomi Watts: Watts‘ best gal pal Kidman somehow nabbed two noms, yet this awesome new Aussie sensation somehow walked away empty-handed despite the fact that her demanding, diverse role in Mulholland Drive was the heart and tortured soul of the film, which otherwise ranked up an impressive array of Globe noms. Watts up with that?
Memento: Until the recent fall season of “prestige” motion pictures upped the ante (but not by much), what was the mantra of most moviegoers this year during an onslaught of mediocre-to-pitiful “blockbusters?” The refrain we remember hearing most was “It seems like the only great movie I’ve seen this year was Memento.”
Billy Bob Thornton: How can we suggest that Billy Bob–who got not one but two nods for his deft turns in two otherwise uneven films, The Man Who Wasn’t There and Bandits–somehow got shafted by the Globes? Well, Halle Berry‘s Monster’s Ball performance was blistering enough to earn her a nomination, and we’d best our last dollar that her co-star Billy Bob is at least her equal on screen, so you do the math…unless she scored extra points for acting like she wanted to do it with Thornton in their explicit love scenes. Maybe Angelina gave her pointers.
Glitter: Just kidding. It’s just hard to think of Golden Globes and NOT think of Mariah Carey.
Everybody Loves Raymond: How can one of the funniest and most popular shows on network television–and one with two actresses, Doris Roberts and Patricia Heaton, who snagged Emmys just a few months ago–get the shaft across the board, especially with noms going to (gasp!) Charlie Sheen and Heather Locklear?? OK, we promised not to pass judgment on the lucky ones, but this omission seems like a calculated snub. Ray Romano should be deeply offended, once he’s done counting the money from his lucrative paycheck and syndication deal.
ER: Yeah, we all know perennial nominee ER is pretty much played out, but some people–paging Dr. Benton–are still doing phenomenal work on the show. If the dramatic actress category was expanded, why not others? Someone explain this, stat!
David Hyde Pierce: The sitcom Olivier–that’s right, I said it. Frasier’s been funnier and Pierce has gathered his share of accolades, but his absence from any TV list with the words “best,” “supporting,” “actor” and “comedy” is a crime.
The cast of Friends, including Jennifer Aniston: The only thing more consistently amusing than Friends is the fact that the stars who provide one of the most creative and commercially successful TV series of all time get the shaft year in and year out. All they allow themselves to be considered for is the supporting categories, which they’re crowded out of by big-name performers in one-shot miniseries and movies. As for Mrs. Pitt, who is doing her best work EVER this season as newly pregnant Rachel Green, she too is half shafted despite her nomination because, frankly, we all know Aniston‘s a true TV leading lady in supporting actress clothing.
Gillian Anderson: Since last year’s Globes, the X-Files star and frequent nominee had to thanklessly carry both a possible alien baby and her sagging show through mostly Mulder-less seasons. Now Anderson has to pass as a forensic den mother to the chemistry-impaired B-team of Robert Patrick and Annabeth Gish, and she still manages to turn in one subtle, nuanced performance after another-even as it’s clear she has one foot out the door.
Courtney Thorne-Smith: The former Melrose Place and Ally McBeal star is apparently so convincing as Jim Belushi’s devoted wife on What About Jim?, the otherwise charmless show actually got picked up for a full season. A honey like Thorne-Smith has the hots for Jim Belushi? Now that’s acting!
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