25 of the Funniest One-Star Amazon Movie Reviews

25 of the Funniest One-Star Amazon Movie Reviews

The Wolf of Wall Street, Leonardo DiCaprio
THE WOLF OF WALL STREET, center: Leonardo DiCaprio, 2013, ph: Mary Cybulski/?Paramount Pictures/courtesy Everett Collection
Have you ever sat down to watch a movie, only to be entirely disappointed by a review that you’d read saying it was good? Have you ever decided to watch a film with an idea of what it would be in your head, only to realize it’s completely different? These are problems each of us face quite frequently nowadays thanks to Netflix, but we have a feeling the reviewers below encounter problems watching films more often than most people.
 

1. This lupine lover who was easily misled by The Wolf of Wall Street.

Amazon, Wolf of Wall Street

2. This person who wasn’t clear about at what point they became disgusted by The Wolf of Wall Street.

Amazon, Wolf of Wall Street

How many times can Gavin watch cocaine-anus (is it called cocainal?) activities before becoming disgusted. We hope just once.

3. This “miscreant” who was reminded of the multitude of injustices white men face daily by a hard-hitting film, Shrek.

Amazon, Shrek

4. This guy who watched Alien and thought, “women, amiright?”

Amazon, Alien

5. This dude, who seems to have been traumatized by the first 7 minutes of West Side Story.

Amazon, West Side Story

6. This person who just couldn’t read The Book of Eli.

Amazon, Book of Eli

7. This person who is simply sick of dogs like Air Bud taking job opportunities away from the deserving.

Amazon, Air Bud

That dog learned to play basketball, which I can’t even do. He earned that spot on the team.

8. This Birdman hater who we wouldn’t recommend Batman or Spider-Man to.

Amazon, Birdman

9. This Spring Breakers fan who very reasonably expected smaller nipples.

Amazon, Spring Breakers

10. This Spring Breakers-watching wife who can’t be fooled.

Amazon, Spring Breakers

11. This parent whose child thinks she’s talented because she watched Pitch Perfect.

Amazon, Pitch Perfect

Good luck with breaking the news to your talentless daughter, Karla!

12. This questionable parent who definitely ruined The Adventures of Milo and Otis for his kid forever.

Amazon, The Adventures of Milo and Otis

13. This monster-in-law who has malicious intentions for her copy of A Field in England.

Amazon, A Field in England

14. This Sixth Sense viewer who sees past Bruce Willis’ film choices.

Amazon, The Sixth Sense

15. This guy who understandably dismissed Predator 2.

Amazon, Predator 2

16. This somewhat responsible alcoholic who may have missed the significance of Bowling for Columbine.

Amazon, Bowling for Columbine

17. This viewer questioning the gender politics of The LEGO Movie‘s “Where Are My Pants?”

Amazon, The LEGO Movie

Isn’t it about time we stopped letting super harmful social movements like feminism from trickling into our family-oriented movies? If this keeps happening, these kids might grow up to treat each other with respect! And THEN WHAT?

18. This scholar who didn’t think Up in the Air was on his intellectual level.

Amazon, Up in the Air

19. This mysterious person who’s oddly secretive about his feelings for Rocky III.

Amazon, Rocky 3

20. This man who was able to immediately see the connections between 42 and the Illuminati’s reptilian royalty.

Amazon, 42

Also, Mr. Snell, if you’re reading this, I think you’d really enjoy this episode of The X-Files about a black baseball-loving alien.

21. This protective parent who does not support the human-robot relations depicted in Big Hero 6.

Amazon, Big Hero 6

22. This guy, who either should have never had children or never have rented Furry Vengeance.

Amazon, Furry Vengeance

23. This person whose friendship with Carl was destroyed by The Expendables 2.

Amazon, Expendables 2

Carl had questionable taste anyway. #OnToTheNextOne

24. This overly emotional person who’s unfamiliar with the concept of narration.

Amazon, March of the Penguins

Don’t worry, Morgan Freeman is not trapped in March of the Penguins. There’s a much more logical explanation.

25. This man who we would never want to go to dinner and a movie with. How did Casino even do this to him?

Amazon, Casino

And why did he take his pants off to vomit in? If he had that much time to prepare, couldn’t he have found a more proper receptacle? So many questions.

h/t @AmznMovieRevws

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