Fantasy Golden Globes: If ‘Mean Girls’ Determined the Seating Chart – INFOGRAPHIC

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Somebody bring me some haaaaam! It’s almost time for the Golden Globes, also known as Hollywood’s biggest party, and this year, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association is putting Tina Fey and Amy Poehler in charge of the night’s entertainment. With two stellar hosts nailed down, the second order of business is figuring out where all of the champagne-swigging celebrities will sit. With Fey at the helm, what better compass could there be to assign seating than her classic comedy/microcosm of teen culture Mean Girls?

We couldn’t get ahold of Janis Ian to whip up another masterful bubble-letter-laden map for the Beverly Hills Hotel ballroom, so we gave it a try ourselves. Behold: a tableau of instant judgments marked with only a fraction of the cruelty of high school. (We love these stars a little too much to go full Regina George on them.) From the “Strictly Pretty People” who are up front because they’re devastatingly gorgeous but not likely to take home trophies, to the “Popular Kids” none of us can stop talking about, to the semi-invisible line between TV stars and movie stars, we’ve got it under control.

Golden Globes Seating Chart

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Follow Kelsea on Twitter @KelseaStahler

[Photo Credits: Photo Illustration by Hollywood.com; Photo Credits: WENN (33); FX]

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Celebrity Editor Kelsea Stahler was born in a pile of dirt. Okay, she was actually born in an old Naval hospital in San Diego, which then became a pile of dirt and remained as such for a number of years before becoming a parking lot perfectly sized for circus tents, and finally a museum. She eventually left San Diego to attend New York University, where she studied Journalism and English literature — two less-than profitable liberal arts degrees about which guidance counselors warned her. Against all odds, she now resides in Brooklyn, where she fights the constant fear that the locals will soon discover she isn’t quite cool enough to live there, and makes a living writing absurd, pop culture features about Batman, zombies, vampires, funny people, and Ron Swanson.

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