Important Notice: It has come to the state of California’s attention that drivers who have acted in movies, appeared on television, or released an album are at a much higher risk of injury, accident, or arrest than drivers who have not. In light of recent events, we are now requiring drivers to take a supplemental written driving test in order to renew their license.
Directions: This is a multiple choice test. Please choose the answer which you feel is the most correct.
1. You see a stoplight ahead of you. It is yellow. You should:
A. Slow down and prepare to stop.
B. Speed up to get through before the light changes.
C. Come to a full and complete stop.
D. Pose for a duckface photo with your BFF who is riding shotty. Quick, before the light changes!
2. While you are driving, you hear police sirens. You must:
A. Immediately pull over to the side of the road.
B. Slow down enough to let them pass.
C. Run away!
D. Call your publicist.
3. Which of the following are true about blind spots?
A. They are eliminated if you have one outside mirror on each side of the vehicle.
B. Large trucks have bigger blind spots than most passenger vehicles.
C. Blind spots can be checked by looking in your rear view mirror.
D. They are caused by excessive drinking.
4. If you are involved in a traffic collision, you are required to complete and submit a written report to the DMV:
A. Only if you or the other driver is injured.
B. If there is property damage in excess of $750 or if there are any injuries.
C. Only if you are at fault.
D. Trick question. You never need to tell anyone that anything ever happened.
5. If you plan to pass another vehicle, you should:
A. Not assume the other driver will make space for you to return to your lane.
B. Assume the other driver will let you pass if you use your turn signal.
C. Assume the other driver will maintain a constant speed.
D. Be aggressive; they’ll get out of your way.
6. When can you drive in a bike lane?
A. During rush hour traffic if there are no bicyclists in the bike lane.
B. When you are within 200 feet of a cross street where you plan to turn right.
C. When you want to pass a driver ahead of you who is turning right.
D. When you are late to an audition.
7. There is no crosswalk and you see a pedestrian crossing your lane ahead. You should:
A. Make eye contact and then pass him/her.
B. Slow down as you pass him/her.
C. Stop and let him/her finish crossing the street.
D. Ignore them. Who even is that?
8. When driving in fog, you should use your:
A. Fog lights only.
B. High beams.
C. Low beams.
D. Can you clarify this question? Do you mean like, actual fog, or like, a hallucinatory fog?
9. A school bus ahead of you in your lane is stopped with red lights flashing. You should:
A. Stop, then proceed when you think all of the children have exited the bus.
B. Slow to 25 MPH and pass cautiously.
C. Stop as long as the red lights are flashing.
D. Open your window and yell, “School is for losers!”
10. At what age did you get involved with show business?
A. 21+ years
B. 16-20 years
C. 11-15 years
D. 0-10 years
Results: If you answered “D” for more than 3 questions, please report to the Department of Motor Vehicles for further action. If you answered “C” for Question 2, please report to the LAPD.
Follow Abbey Stone on Twitter @abbeystone
[Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News]
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