If there’s one bit of advice we can take away from Kristen Stewart‘s tryst with Rupert Sanders it’s, “Don’t cheat on your boyfriend just before you release a movie together.” Stewart’s affair was a lot of things — unprofessional, inappropriate, illegal (adultery is still a crime in many states, you know) — but topping the list may be “poorly timed.”
Seeing an ex after a messy breakup is never pleasant, but being forced to sit on press panel after press panel with said former flame sounds like the worst. With The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn — Part 2 set to hit theaters this November, that is exactly what Stewart and jilted ex-lover Robert Pattinson have to look forward to. While on the red carpet for the Toronto International Film Festival’s premiere of her new film On the Road on Saturday, Stewart gave fans the first hint at what they can expect from Breaking Dawn‘s press tour.
Stewart revealed to reporters on Thursday that she was suffering from a little Pre-Traumatic Stress Disorder (yep, I made that up) before hitting the On the Road red carpet, the Associated Press reports. “I was a little nervous, obviously. I’m always nervous before a red carpet,” Stewart said. “To be honest, I was just kind of telling myself, like, just don’t black out. Be there, don’t just figuratively put your head down and barrel though it. Be there, appreciate it. Luckily, very, very much I was able to do that.”
Reading between the lines a little bit, Stewart seems to be talking about more than her usual social anxiety. This carpet was her first public appearance since the news of her split with Pattinson broke, so we’re betting there was even more pressure on Stewart than usual to appear calm and collected. Luckily, Twihards flocked to the theater in droves to show their support for Stewart. “She may be a trampire, but she’s our trampire!” They said. (Well, not really; I’m projecting). Stewart was grateful for the massive showing. “You expect a lot of people at a Twilight premiere, but showing up at an On the Road Toronto film festival screening and seeing that amount of people is absolutely, disarmingly amazing,” Stewart said. “It felt pretty cool.”
But all cool things must come to an end. As is to be expected, reporters had to ask Stewart about the impending awkwardness that is the Breaking Dawn press junket. According to the AP, she said, “We’re going to be fine … We’re totally fine.” Eh, sounds like wishful thinking.
Since we think Stewart is in total denial and that there is no way in the realm of human possibility everything will be “fine,” here are our suggestions for making things work come Breaking Dawn press time.
Get a Hologram: The best way to avoid any discomfort would be to make sure Stewart and Pattinson never step foot in the same room. So, we recommend hitting up the people who raised Tupac from the dead and getting them to whip up a holograms of Stewart and Pattinson. Their answers to the questions we know will be asked can be preprogramed; we all know nothing surprising comes from these press conferences anyway.
Skype: Okay, so holograms are expensive. Instead, Stewart and Pattinson could alternate Skyping into the interviews. This way they wouldn’t have to breathe the same air.
Employ a Mediator: Like in couples counseling, Pattinson and Stewart could enlist the help of a mediator. This way, if Pattinson slips up and says, “Kristen is a floozy who tore my heart out of my chest and stomped all over it,” there will be someone to step in and say, “What he means is, ‘Kristen made me feel sad when she didn’t honor our taciturn agreement that ours was a monogamous relationship.'”
Wear Sensory Deprivator 500s: When Ted wanted to avoid learning the Super Bowl’s outcome on How I Met Your Mother he invented the world’s most effective blinders. Pattinson and Stewart should each get a pair; it’d be like the other person wasn’t even there.
Follow Abbey Stone on Twitter @abbeystone
[Photo Credit: WENN]
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