Nicole Richie: ‘I won’t apologise for my past’

Nicole Richie has no regrets about her wild youth, insisting she has learned a lot from her past mistakes.
Before she became the wife of rocker Joel Madden in 2010, Nicole struggled with substance abuse issues and was arrested several times for possession of various drugs, including heroin.
However, she managed to kick her bad habit and is now able to look back on her past with a positive outlook, even though her trials and tribulations are frequently brought up by others.
“Other moments come when I’m out in the world, and that’s a very different picture, one of danger, darkness, and shame,” she writes in Lena Dunham’s Lenny Letter. “Moments of congratulation and celebrating who I am do not come without strangers pointing out how dark my life once was. I hear a lot of, ‘Wow, you once looked like this, but now you look like this!’ and ‘You once were wild, and now you’re an angel!'”
The 35-year-old mother-of-two admits she used to feel ashamed about her past, but she has learned to embrace it.
“I was so used to hearing others’ views of my life that I found myself believing them,” she continues. “I sat and wondered, ‘Why do I laugh at home, but feel shamed out in the world?’ With my family and close friends, I am owning my past, relishing in the absurdity, slightly flinching at my own naivete, and giving myself props for the unabashed bravery that streaked through my youth. But not trying to hide from it, not trying to change it, just allowing it to help propel me forward.”
And Lionel Richie’s daughter hopes other women can follow in her footsteps and be able to accept and move on from their former problems, too.
“I feel the need to support women loving themselves,” she adds. “It’s by loving ourselves that we give permission to others to love us. Life is a roller coaster, and we all have had times where we need to get back on the up, but we can’t do it alone. We need each other’s love and support.
“And as much as I have to look at those moments and learn from them, as we all do, it’s important for me to have gratitude for that time, too. Not shame. Being ashamed of your life is not OK. I realized I am actually extremely thankful I was so beastly in front of the world for a few reasons. It’s so bad in people’s minds that there’s nothing that can embarrass me now. I got a little surprise gift of freedom!”
Nicole is also grateful for the media attention her troubles garnered, because living her life in the spotlight has helped her stay on track.
“I also truly believe if I didn’t have so many eyes on me, it would’ve been easier for me to slip back into my reckless behavior,” she concludes. “I had people rooting me on and watching me at a time when I needed that.
“I’ve been given many titles: Wild child. Reality star. White-washed black girl. Skinny. Rich. (I guess the last two aren’t so bad). Now, at 35, the only titles I am taking on are the ones I give myself.”