We should give Lindsay Lohan credit for being sober enough to realize it's better to reward Dawn Holland (the Betty Ford Clinic woman she slapped or grinded up against in outrage) with $25,000 rather than the heads of animal crackers for not filing assault against her. But wait -- WHY ARE WE STILL TALKING ABOUT THIS? Didn't the debate over whether or not Lindsay gave an Indian rugburn to this woman subside when it was revealed that Holland had "a history of violence against her ex-husband" and her credibility was shot? Then, didn't this whole thing become a real non-issue when Dawn said she decided not to testify in court about what really happened because "as a former addict, she didn't want to send Lindsay back to jail for violating her parole by committing violence that's only seen on a handball court"? But wait again -- now I know why this whole thing matters! It turns out that the real reason Dawn didn't want to testify was because Lindsay agreed to give her $25,000! This could only mean that something Rosie O'Donnell-with-heat-stroke crazy REALLY DID HAPPEN on that one day in rehab! This news story lives on!
Radar Online reports Dawn agreed to a payment of $25,000 from someone "directly in Lohan's camp." However, Dawn wanted the money up front and in one lump sum. Lindsay's guardians wanted to spread the sum out over time and pay it to her in installments. But that didn't fly with Dawn so for some reason a car salesman got involved and got everyone to agree that some day, Dawn would participate in a sit-down interview with Lindsay so Dawn could "shop the interview to various media outlets" and earn even more money for herself. At this point in time, neither the interview nor the pay day have taken place, and Dawn just fired her lawyer and got another one.
And THAT is how you get everyone to stop talking about Robert De Niro's Golden Globes acceptance speech.