This weekend, we found out one of the greatest female entertainers of the 90s was leaving the spotlight for greener pastures of normalcy. Early Saturday morning, Amanda Bynes tweeted her decision to “retire” from acting, citing she’s not going to do something if she doesn’t “love” doing it (does that mean she’s under investigation for tax evasion?). See below for the murky explanation, that we’re supposed to pass of as understandable, in its entirety. Start at the bottom.
As her tweets show, apparently she’s not the type of person to do something she doesn’t love. So maybe she just got tired of memorizing lines, dressing up in dudes’ clothes and pointing out the cattiness of teenage-dom by sticking tampons up her nose. But she was so “guilty pleasure” good at it, and it’s hard to imagine Dakota Fanning or Miley Cyrus pulling off a movie like “She’s the Man” even a fraction as well as she did. I’m inclined to think she didn’t like the trajectory of her career… but that’s a problem easily fixed by putting your agent and publicist in a box filled with soggy Triscuits and shipping them to Tanzania.
So even though we’re asked to believe the hashtag on the last tweet illustrates the severity of her decision, the “I’m very attracted to [black men] just fyi” makes her mountain a little bit more infested with garden snakes, and that much harder to climb.