News Roundup: March 7

Top Story

That’s the sound of 14-year-old girls’ hearts breaking across America. MSNBC cites an unnamed source as saying that famed boy band ‘N Sync will break up, and as soon as this fall. MSNBC’s insider is quoted as saying that friction among the band members is not an issue; it’s that “they just have their own interests and would like to pursue solo careers. They’ve been together for something like four years now, and in the pop world, that’s a lifetime.” Actually, listening to any one of ‘N Sync‘s songs in its entirety seems like a lifetime.

In General

The rights to the 1974 horror classic The Texas Chain Saw Massacre have been bought by New Line Cinema, which promises to deliver a “fresh and thrilling post-modern” and toned-down retelling of the cult classic. Toned-down in this case would mean that only 24 people get butchered by the chainsaw-wielding Leatherface, and not 25.

So what would you do if you’re Jerry Seinfeld and you have no place to park your Porsche collection (20 strong and growing) near your Manhattan home? You simply build a $1.39 million parking structure just a few blocks from your Upper West Side duplex, reports People magazine. Clearly, Jerry is the master of his domain.

Jude Law (A.I.: Artificial Intelligence) and wife Sadie Frost will give birth to their third child sometime in August, the Associated Press reports. The delighted couple is already parents to son Rafferty, 5, and daughter Iris, 18 months. Contrary to popular belief, Haley Joel Osment is not part of the family.

Comedian Bob Hope has donated $1 million of his own money to the organization behind the Primetime Emmys (the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences) to help build an archive of classic comedy performances. Hope turns 99 at the end of May and has clearly decided that if you can’t take it with you, you might as well let a Hollywood academy waste it for you.

First, Gary Condit gets whitewashed in his bid for re-election, and now this: According to the New York Post, Carolyn Condit, Gary‘s wife, asked NBC for an on-air retraction following the Feb. 6 episode of Law & Order, which dealt with a politico’s missing aide. The show, which echoed the Condit affair with missing intern Chandra Levy, later revealed that the murderer was the politico’s wife. A spokesperson for the TV show’s producers denied any connection to reality, stating, “The show is fictional.” Anyone who watched the Connie Chung/Condit interview knows not to believe everything they see on TV.

DC Comics is suing the makers of Kryptonite gel, a new hair product that, according to Wella Corp., is “excellent for smooth, chunky spikes or textured styles,” the AP reports. While Wella goes on to state that the gel is safe for humans, there’s no word on what it does to Superman’s powers–or his hair.

Alicia Keys has added her name to Jay-Z’s and P. Diddy’s–where are Heavy D and Master P?–who are headliners for the charity UrbanAID 2 concert next month. The concert hopes to raise awareness about AIDS (and not awareness about the plight of under-talented, over-hyped rappers with one-letter monikers).

Alanis Morissette‘s latest creation held off the Grammy-winning O Brother, Where Art Thou? soundtrack to claim the top spot on SoundScan’s music chart this week. Under Rug Swept, the grammatically challenged title from the Canadian songbird, sold more than 215,000 copies, besting country-compilation O Brother‘s 209,000. Last week’s top spot holder, Jennifer Lopez‘s J to tha L-O!, slipped toward the bottom of the Top 10. (Mmm, we like the idea of Jennifer on the bottom almost as much as the idea of Jennifer on the top.)

Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin will be the headliner (and final performer) of the inaugural Rochester International Jazz Festival in June. The festival will also feature performances from jazz greats Sonny Rollins, Dianne Reeves and The Rippingtons. In what could be the understatement of the year, Chamber of Commerce President Tom Mooney told the AP, “This is easily the biggest music festival this city has ever seen.”

ABC has forced Drew Carey, the eponymous star of The Drew Carey Show, to rewrite an episode that made fun of airport security guards, and the heavyset comedian is none too happy about it. Carey told the Los Angeles Times, “If you can’t satirize authority institutions, what’s the point?”