The retired runway beauty has come clean about her battle with depression and the meds she took to balance her emotions in a candid editorial for The Huffington Post.
In the article, Porizkova, 46, reveals she lost control of her feelings after a short-lived stint on U.S. reality show Dancing with the Stars in 2007, and her troubles were further compounded when she was fired from the judging panel on America’s Next Top Model just a year later (08).
She writes, “I had just gotten kicked off of Dancing with the Stars (as the first contestant) and my ego travelled back to ninth grade, when I was the least popular kid in school and just couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong to be so disliked…”
Porizkova’s doctor prescribed her Lexapro to deal with her anxiety attacks, and she soon found herself relying on the drug to pull her through her darkest days – but the medication quickly took a toll on her personal life with musician husband Ric Ocasek.
Her dependence on the drug left the model feeling like she was cheating on Ocasek, admitting she felt a “sexual distancing from my husband”.
She continues, “I felt emotionally Botoxed. I decided that this affair had all the drawbacks of an affair.”
Porizkova managed to kick her addiction after more than two years on the drug – but it wasn’t easy: “I could finally understand the drug addicts who had cleaned up but wrestled with the urge to use every day.”