Why We Loved It So Much: Properly-tended-to facial hair has a special allure that makes otherwise normal guys seem so … manly. The “What exactly is under that hair on your face?” mystery of beards, moustaches and five o’clock shadows only contributes to this primitive brand of sex appeal. Sex appeal, clearly, is not something Brad Pitt, the only man in history to be named Sexiest Man Alive twice, has ever lacked. Still, we were embarrassingly drawn to the petite lil’ moustache he grew for Inglorious Basterds. You know, the one that just kept … growing.
Now, Not So Much: This once endearing moustache has expanded into an unwieldy mess of whiskers, taking over Pitt’s kissable lips — they’re tickled; we’re not — now bearing unnerving resemblance to our high-school chemistry teacher (and that dude way crazy). We don’t mind that Brad’s goatee is gray, but we are concerned that the moustache it’s attached to is not. It’s kind of orange-y. Oh, and by the by, only Robert Downey Jr. is allowed to have a goatee.
It’s time for Angelina — ’cause you know she has the final say on these matters — to make Brad shave the whole hairy unit off.
LAST WEEK’S DUNZO: DIY Nude Pics
