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Every year, cable networks and superstations force-feed us their holiday programming, playing the same old movies season after season. Where’s the fun in that? What do business execs know about what’s good and what’s crap? Wouldn’t you rather have a bunch of film junkies, who know a thing or two about entertainment, recommending movies for you?
Our editorial team has been from one end of the North Pole to the other, compiling a list of the best and worst holiday flicks for you to pick at and we’ll just tell it like it is. So each day we’ll give you a Christmas movie to examine — for better or worse.
Tell us where you agree, where you disagree and what we’ve missed! ‘Tis the season to be picky, and coming up with this list has been a bit tricky, so without further ado …
Today’s Pick!
Love Actually
This holiday fairy tale is filled with complex characters and situations that bring some dramatic moments to a film that otherwise would be as soapy as a bathroom sink. But the comedy, courtesy of Hugh Grant, Rowan Atkinson and Bill Nighy keeps coming and balances out the tales of a wife discovering her husbands disloyalty, a lonely office drone caring for a mentally ill sibling, and a widower teaching his young step-son lessons in love. I often hear that the film gets a bad rap for being naïve about love, but that’s why people watch these types of movies – to see a happy ending “as only celluloid can deliver”.
Yesterday’s Pick!
Vince Vaughn plays the all too human younger brother of Santa in this farce where the big man needs help at the north pole in the days leading up to Christmas. Lesson learned: Don’t send a man to do an elf’s job. Although it boasts a cool concept, Vaughn is essentially the same as he always is and in a high concept project like this, I wanted to see another side of the funny man. The film ultimately falls flat because can’t decide whether it wants to be naughty or nice, alternating between nastiness and whole-heartedness. I like both, but together it makes the movie feel completely artificial.
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November 20th
The Griswold’s string of bad luck traveled with them all over the world, but was perhaps funniest at home: the one place you’d think they would be safe. It’s a holiday gift that keeps giving. I don’t think anyone gets tired of Clark (Chevy Chase) getting electrocuted, nor does anyone ever get fed up with Cousin Eddie’s crazed antics. “Shitter was full…Merry Christmas!” anyone?
November 19th
Will Ferrell needed to play an elf to prove he could be a leading man. Thank god he did, because his childlike rants and innocence replaced his normal insane comic routine in this fish-out-of-water tale, where a 6’3” man raised as an elf must travel from the North Pole to America to discover his true identity. A hilarious romp that has become a holiday favorite.
Yesterday’s Pick!
Hollywood royalty meets a literary staple when Bill Murray bah-humbug’s his way through this classic comedy as a selfish TV exec who gets spooked into altering his attitude. Murray rolls some of his most loved characters into one as Frank Cross, a loathsome yuppie type in dire need of a moral makeover. Seeing him scared straight is hilariously deserved and the tone of the film matches well with Murray’s cynicism. This is an underappreciated film that gets a bad rap because it’s significantly darker than most Christmas films, but critics forget that its made for adults to digest and reflect on their own ways.
November 16th!
Arnold Schwarzenegger has supporting actors like Sinbad and Phil Hartman to thank for the funniest moments in this broad heart warmer. Of course, I love the fact that he lambastes himself by donning a superhero costume at the film’s climax, noting the fact that he is, for better or worse, an action figure. It’s a call to all corporate dad’s to keep the portfolios at the office during the holiday and make the most of it with the family.
November 13th
November 12th
If Ben Affleck’s billionaire character paid us the kind of money he gives the Valco family to spend the holiday with him, we still wouldn’t sit through this movie again. You know what would’ve made it better? Either a Prozac to cheer me up after spending $10 on it, or an Ambien to just knock me the hell out.
November 11th
With lines like, “Yeah baby, you’re not gonna sh*t right for a week!”, how could you NOT love Billy Bob Thornton as a conning Kringle in Terry Zwigoff’s hilarious, dark-as-night comedy. A Christmas movie solely for the mature crowd, Thornton creates one of the most memorable Santa’s in cinema history…
November 10th
Holiday hijinks with Hulk Hogan…need I say more? Easily one of the worst Christmastime flicks. I’d rather spend the holiday watching syndicated Thunder in Paradise episodes. Hogan is great as a personality, but he just doesn’t do interaction well unless he’s pounding on someone’s skull.
November 9th!
A Christmas Carol (1951)
This is probably the most famous filmed version of Dickens’ classic Christmas morality tale, with Alastair Sim as Ebenezer Scrooge. When I was young,, I was frightened by the Dr. Frankenstein looking Sim, who looks like a character out of Nosferatu, even when he’s hugging Tiny Tim. I guess that suits the character well enough, and his portrayal of Scrooge goes from icy cold to lovingly warm. He nails the characters story arc and leaves big shoes to fill for every actor that has played Scrooge since.
Click Here for Past Picks!
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Miracle On 34th Street (1947)I just want to pinch Edmund Gwenn’s chubby cheeks every time I watch this, that’s how lovable he is! The film is an unforgettable family fantasy about an old man on trial for claiming that he’s Kris Kringle and the young girl who believes in him. It’s the defining film about the spirit of Christmas, but is also a not so subtle advertisement to shop at Macy’s.
November 5th
The Perfect Holiday is somewhat less than a perfect film, about a young girl who turns to a department store Santa Clause to find a new husband for her divorced mother. Of course, if Gabrielle Union needs her daughter and a shopping mall Santa to get a man, Kate Gosselin is screwed.
November 2nd
How The Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
I’ve got a better title: “How Ron Howard stole our cash”. To date, his laughable adaptation of Dr. Seuss’ classic kiddie book is the highest grossing Christmas movie ever, but I can’t for the life of me understand why. It’s Seuss’ lite in my opinion and it’s success is more marketing than movie magic
October 30th
This sappy family comedy finds young Thora Birch and Ethan Embry fighting to get their separated parents back together. They are the silver to Leslie Nielsen’s gold as Santa Clause. It’s more than influenced by Disney’s The Parent Trap and doesn’t quite match that films cutesiness, but Birch and Embry are mischievous and adorable to watch. The film also sends out a good message to kids, calling on them to take charge of their own lives and teaching them about the value of persistence. Now, all I want for Christmas is more Thora Birch!
October 29th
A hokey and romanticized “origin story” for the fable of Santa Claus. However childish, decent special effects (for its time) and dedicated performances from David “Lebowski” Huddleston, Dudley Moore and John Lithgow left some impressionable images on eighties babies. It’s a feeble attempt at an “epic” Santa story, but certainly has its moments.
Oct 28th
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Whether you’re into freaky characters, gothic design or catchy musical numbers, Tim Burton’s stop-motion opus about the King of Halloween crashing Christmas has become a duel-holiday mainstay that the whole family can enjoy. It’s a testament to the importance of individuality, but doesn’t come off as preachy to the audience. What I loved most, however, was that the film took the Christmas movie playbook and scorched it, re-writing the rules of the genre one creepy crawler at a time.
Oct 27th
Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon have some chemistry to spare here as a couple forced into a tour du family after their tropical holiday vacation is scratched. It’s the supporting cast, though — including Jon Favreau and Robert Duvall — that steals the show, as relatives who make the Jackson family look normal. As much as they can’t stand their kin, by the end of the film you’ll realize that you can’t live without yours, no matter how many times your siblings put your head through the living room table.
