1. Orlando Bloom
Misses: Elizabethtown ($26.8 million)*, Kingdom of Heaven ($47.3 million)
Hits: None
Live by the sword, die by the sword. That’s what happened when Bloom charged into Kingdom of Heaven without Johnny Depp or Viggo Mortensen by his side. No wonder Bloom finally traded his horse for a car. Only he looked ill at ease roaming the modern-day streets of Elizabethtown. Bloom’s not a (leading) man of his–or any other–time.
2. Charlize Theron
Misses: North Country ($18.1 million)*, Aeon Flux ($23.3 million)*
Hits: None
The Monster’s ball is over for Theron. Despite giving another Oscar-worthy performance in North Country, Theron likely lost her shot at another Academy Award when the gritty drama flopped. And the leggy ex-model looked so bored kicking butt in Aeon Flux that it’s just as well she turned down an offer to be the next Bond girl.
3. Nicolas Cage
Misses: The Weather Man ($12.4 million)*, Lord of War ($24.1 million)
Hits: None
Where’s producer Jerry Bruckheimer when Cage needs him? After reaping the rewards of going National Treasure hunting with Bruckheimer, Cage paid the price for getting too serious with the arms satire Lord of War and the dramedy The Weather Man. Seems audiences prefer Cage to search for hidden treasure rather than search his soul.
4. Matthew McConaughey
Misses: Two for the Money ($22.8 million), Sahara ($68.6 million)
Hits: None
You can’t always get what you want. With Sahara, McConaughey found a girlfriend (co-star Penelope Cruz) but failed to start a potential franchise. His Dirk Pitt was a poor man’s Indiana Jones. And wagering everything on the Houston Texans to win the Super Bowl seemed like a better proposition than listening to Al Pacino yell at McConaughey.
5. Billy Bob Thornton
Misses: Ice Harvest ($9 million), Bad News Bears ($32.8 million)
Hits: None
With all that boozing and cussing in Bad Santa, Thornton proved himself worthy to take over the Bad News Bears from lovable grouch Walter Matthau. Unfortunately, director Richard Linklater couldn’t furnish this cranky remake with the same universal appeal that made School of Rock mandatory for students of all ages. And Ice Harvest’s shenanigans hardly measured up to the yuletide yuks of Bad Santa.
6. Ewan McGregor
Misses: Stay ($3.6 million), Valiant ($19.4 million), The Island ($35.8 million)
Hits: Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith ($380.2 million), Robots ($128.2 million)
McGregor’s nothing without his lightsaber. Robots was all about Robin Williams, and without Williams, Valiant crashed. No one cared to Stay, and few escaped to The Island. Not that McGregor or Scarlett Johansson deserved much blame for that ill-advised 21st-century Logan’s Run, as producer Walter Parkes suggests. Better to point the finger at director Michael Bay.
7. Ryan Reynolds
Misses: Waiting… ($16.1 million)*, Just Friends ($29.5 million)*
Hits: The Amityville Horror ($65.2 million)
What worse than eating stale pizza? Consuming just about anything served by the ex-Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place pie man. Reynolds’ specialty is comedy, but he continues to fails to make us laugh, as evidenced by Just Friends or the Clerks clone Waiting… Oh, and Reynolds wasn’t the true star of The Amityville Horror remake: it was that damn creepy house.
8. Christina Ricci
Misses: I Love Your Work ($3,264), Cursed ($19.2 million)
Hits: None
Cursed, indeed, as Wes Craven‘s troubled werewolf yarn lacked bite. The onetime indie darling’s odd obsession with horror certainly comes at the cost of her credibility. Prozac Nation–shot in 2001 and delayed after author Elizabeth Wurtzel made stupid remarks about 9/11–finally saw the light. On cable TV and DVD, that is.
9. Elijah Wood
Misses: Green Street Hooligans ($346,830), Everything is Illuminated ($1.7 million)
Hits: Sin City ($74.1 million)
So we got a little scared to see Frodo Baggins going all Gollum as Sin City’s crazed cannibal killer. But as a soccer thug? This Green Street hooligan wouldn’t even frighten the girls from Bend it Like Beckham. As for Everything Is Illuminated, Wood failed to turn Liev Schreiber’s directorial debut into an art-house sensation. We’re not in Middle Earth anymore.
10. Antonio Banderas
Misses: Imagining Argentina ($8,889), The Legend of Zorro ($45.3 million)
Hits: None
From hero to zero, Banderas lost his panache in the Spy Kids-ish sequel to The Mask of Zorro. Unfortunately for Banderas, he likely won’t pick up the bold caballero’s rapier a third time. And that means trouble, as the El Mariachi and Spy Kids star has almost run out of franchises to fall back on during tough times. Well, there’s always Shrek 3…
* As of Dec. 18
Dishonorable Mention:
Wesley Snipes
Misses: 9 Seconds, The Marksman
Hits: None
No, Snipes wasn’t seen this year in theaters. And that’s the problem. Both 9 Seconds and The Marksman debuted on DVD, just like Liberty Stands Still and Unstoppable. With the Blade franchise dead and buried, Snipes unfortunately appears to be following action heroes Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme down the path to direct-to-DVD obscurity.
