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The Hills, Season 3: Ep. 2 Review

So we open on a shot of a flyer tacked to a telephone pole telling us that New York is the “Fashion Capital of the World.” It’s really a good thing they bothered to let us know, as there were some rumors they decided to move it to Boise, Idaho.

The flyer is foreshadowing I guess, since we next learn that Whitney Port’s escaped the haughty pretension of the Teen Vogue offices for the haughty pretension of People’s Revolution.

Apparently, she’s there to work as a stylist. As we learn during Ms. Port’s job interview, it’s a job that requires a commitment to stay up until 3:00 am and wear all black. Sounds like the 1980s all over again.

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I know that somewhere, in the back of someone’s small mind, Whitney’s new job is supposed to be impressive. Fancy clothes, teenage models, and a pair of designers (Sass & Bide, to be exact) who clearly suffered some kind of bad plastic surgery accident. But really, what’s so damn difficult about deciding pants look OK and models need to be told when to walk down a runway?

Maybe in Season 5, she’ll go to work in a coal mine. Not that’d be reality TV worth watching.

Meanwhile, back in LA, Lauren runs into Spencer’s sister, Stephanie, at their FIDM computer class and all sorts of instant messaging hell break loose. The downside is a bunch of mostly meaningless conversations that include a healthy use of the words: “like” and “random” and “chill.”

If the show is actually scripted like so many believe, than someone needs to buy the writers a thesaurus. But if that’s actually how these women talk, well, enough said about that.

The upside is that Stephanie offers Lauren the olive branch and Lauren accepts and the resulting brother and sister heart-to-heart makes Spencer looks like even more of a monosyllabic ass than we already thought he was–and that’s saying something.

Tip for Spence: less hair gel, more school work.

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